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A Natural Option for Treating Vaginismus

Updated on October 13, 2013

First Things First

Allow me to start by saying that I am in no way a doctor or physician and have not been certified or licensed in any medical degree, however, I do have first hand experience with this rare, debilitating and disheartening condition.

I am not embarrassed at all and will gladly share my story in hopes that it helps you on your own journey to overcome your vaginismus.

There is no clear-cut cause of vaginismus and an obvious treatment plan is even more elusive. Young women and teens who cannot consciously control the spasms that prevent vaginal penetration through intercourse, tampons or gynecological exams may find it almost impossible to find the help and treatment they need and deserve to carry out a normal, healthy lifestyle- sexual or otherwise.


My Own Experience

I have treated my own Primary vaginismus through the help of extensive research, support from my spouse and family and dilators I ordered here. A wealth of information can be found on the Wikipedia page for this disorder. There you will learn a tremendous amount about vaginismus and you should be able to better understand why and where this condition may have rooted in the past.

There are many reasons why a woman might have vaginismus. These reasons will vary from woman to woman. Some women could have experienced abuse in the past, emotional disorders or a general fear of penatration that makes the use of tampons or having sex virtually impossible. I would like to share my own personal story in hopes that it helps someone else with their own situation.

If you have you ever been successfully threated for Vaginismus, what was the main method?

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You Are Not Alone

You might feel guilty and embarrassed, but there is nothing wrong with you. There's also nothing stopping you from overcoming this crippling condition. Whether your vaginismus is physiological or pure reflex spasms, when you are truly ready to take that step towards treatment in your mind and heart, your body will follow suit. You can do it!

Before engaging in any type of penetration, please see a doctor first. Your doctor doesn't necessarily have to perform an exam but they will do their best to educate you on your safest options for treatment without being intrusive. Even if you're unable to complete an exam the first time, don't worry, that was a great start and you're well on your way to the finish line! Your doctor will also be able to tell you if there are any other physical underlying causes of your vaginismus. Here is a great site that might point to other causes you might not have thought about, or even other disorders that better align with your symptoms.

These tapered dilators helped me understand my body's natural response to penetration so I could focus on relaxing and alleviating my fear.
These tapered dilators helped me understand my body's natural response to penetration so I could focus on relaxing and alleviating my fear. | Source

Using Dilators

According to, success rates of treatment for these types of disorders are at almost 100%. I truly believe that anyone can overcome vaginismus in their own time and in their own way. Once you've talked to your doctor and you feel confident in taking the next step, I would like to suggest the natural method I took in treating my vaginismus through the use of dilators.

The dilators that I used were completely smooth and came in graduated sizes. The smallest one was about the size of a tampon. The smallest size they offer in the set is now narrower than a regular sized tampon! The whole set comes with a detatchable handle so it's easier to keep a hold of the situation.

My suggestion is to do this at bedtime or when you're the most relaxed and in a super comfy position. For me, that was at night in bed after everyone has gone to sleep.

I had graduated to the larger sizes, the largest being a little too much for me. The entire dilation to the largest size I could handle took about a month. I would suggest doing this every night that you can for as long as you can until you've conditioned your nether region for the presence of something else being there. It wasn't painful, it was very discrete and my husband was super proud of me.

Everyone is different so don't become discouraged if you do try the dilators and don't get the same results. I do feel that if you trust yourself, the dilators will work for you. You don't have to tell anyone about it, not even your significant other. Do it for yourself in the privacy of your own home or quiet place and take your time.

Please comment if you have any questions or further suggestions!

After Treatment

After successfully graduating through the dilators, I had decided to commense the long awaited trial of my first tampon. At the age of 23 I was now about to do what I had always desperately wanted to do that time of the month. I applied a regular sized tampon to start out. To my surprise, I inserted one without incident for the first time! There was no pain and I couldn't even feel it after it was inserted. It was such an incredible feeling to know that I had this extra protection and didn't have to fight through the pain of having it in for the next few hours.

Although sexual intercourse is still painful for me, it's possible. This will start to get better once you're significant other has gained your complete trust and understanding of you and your vaginismus. They must know that sex isn't just physical for you. It will always be psychological, too. Long talks and counseling for you both would be a great idea.

My most recent Pap wasn't smooth sailing and there was still considerable pain. All of this, however, could have been reduced and under control had I just relaxed and trusted my new doctor. It was over fairly quickly. I'm glad I have finally been examined because I now know my true health status and whether anything further can be done to sooth my now secondary vaginismus. Although it may always be a part of my life and affect certain aspects of it, I am very optimistic that I will only get better. :)

Steps You Can Take

  • See your doctor about diagnosis, treatment, and possibly other underlying causes of your condition.
  • Seek outside support, guidance, and counsel if available.
  • Try using a set of tapered graduated medical grade dilators to help you get used to relaxing your muscles and ease your mind about the act of penetration.
  • Don't be hard on yourself. Just like with anything else, it takes time and persistence to train your mind and body to overcome the fear and anxiety of the current pain associated with penetration.
  • Under no circumstance should you put anything inside of you that isn't medically recommended. Please do not use general numbing agents, creams or ointments. Nothing topical will fix the problem and will only complicate your situation.
  • If you think your significant other may be helpful in relieving your fear and anxiety, make sure you talk it out and they know exactly how you want everything to take place. You are in control!

No Quick Fix

There's no quick fix for these types of conditions. Please be patient with yourself and your body. No matter how long it takes, you will get there and it will be worth all the work and effort. See your doctor regularly and try to stay positive. Good luck and keep going!


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      Mike Lintro 3 years ago

      Being a guy, I don't fully understand how it is to visit the gynecologist. My wife has given me a few, very descriptive ideas of how it is for her whenever she has to go. By her descriptions, I can see why there is a stigma toward the gynecologist. But, when it all comes down to it, there is a reason she still goes. She wants to stay healthy, and even though we have to pay for her to go do something she doesn't want to do, she is usually thankful of the doctor.