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Updated on May 19, 2018
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My road to a better me. It was a tough journey. Tougher than any that I have ever been through. I know it isn't over yet.

The Over-Thinker

Over-thinking can cause insomnia, anxiety, fear, and leading right to stress. How many over-thinkers have laid awake telling your brain, "shut the hell up"? Sleep is a necessity. If over thinkers could all be so lucky and not sleep like the Cullen's in the Twilight Saga. We have to work with what we got.

When you are an over-thinker, you want to find meaning in the world. (I know I do. There has to be a reason as to why I am here.) The over-thinker over analyzes everything. You weigh your options. You decide on the best outcome, but then you compare that best outcome to another outcome, and you keep going round, and round and you don't do anything. Seems I have lived this recently. I went round and round about a conversation with a beautiful guy, but never made it happen. Love to just be around to hear the sound of his voice and see those beautiful brown eyes. HOWEVER....

I want to invest time in a lasting relationship. I would rather be over-loving than over-thinking. However, this is where I am....

You are willing to procrastinate. Remaining in your comfort zone. Hoping that someone will hit that accelerator for you. Go, go, go. Which may lead you to fear taking any action. No, no, no. :-(

We want to know why. Some things have meaning - we want simplicity, yet we make things more complex.

We may want to get everything just right. You become your harshest critic. However, no one is perfect. Cut yourself some slack. I wish I could pick his brain, find out how this shy guy is feeling. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Continuing to go round and round. Needing to communicate. The over-thinking gets louder in the mind when there are no distractions.

Over-thinkers do things to calm the mind. Long walks. Meditation. Writing this hub. Exercise. Learning to just be, and having the urge to be doing more. Through it all, over-thinkers continue to analyze themselves, as well as others. You continue to ask yourself why? Don't ask why. In my social work classes, learning interviewing techniques, we were told to never ask why. It makes the other person defensive. Like they are being blamed for something. When you ask yourself why, you are doing the same thing. Blaming yourself for something that hasn't happened.

You know how to think critically. Investigating deeper and deeper, while you continue to hesitate.

While you see both the strengths and limitations of over-thinking. The goal is to balance the level of over-thinking with more doing. (I had planned on giving my crush a birthday card with my phone number in it. However, a work situation came up that prevented me from doing so, because it would have changed the hours that I would be working for up to 2 weeks. Will another opportunity like that present itself again??) Take comfort in knowing that many people over-think. When you talk to yourself in a negative manner, remind yourself, "this isn't helping. What would help is...." add a positive, "talk to me."

Being perfect isn't possible.


It is unfortunate, but nothing is 100% certain in life. There are many 'what ifs'. We shouldn't let it prevent ourselves from living happy lives. Dissecting peoples intentions. Don't fear the outcome. It could be everything you wanted. Balance your life.

Don't convince yourself to believe the worse case scenario. I'm nervous too.

Big Picture

"Over-thinkers are more prone to sadness and negative thinking." Over-thinking isn't something you're born with, it is a learned habit formed over time, probably as a defense mechanism to the possibility of failure. The only way you fail is if you do not try.

Don't think, "what if it doesn't work out?" Think, "what if it does?"

Trust yourself. You will be glad that you did.

Could there ever be, over - love?


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