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Positive Life Change

Updated on May 31, 2012

The Power of the Positive

It’s September 20th, 2011 in Cave Junction, Oregon. My wife will be celebrating her 58th birthday today; some of her girlfriends are taking her out to lunch. I had my 63rd birthday on September 6th; I’ve been retired now since the first of July. Today, I want to write about the factors that prevent change, and I want to emphasize those steps that facilitate positive change.

I’m sitting in one of our green, canvass lounge chairs on our open patio deck in the backyard. Although it’s only about 10:00 A.M., the sun is up and spreading that luscious warmth on my face; the sky is crystal-clear-blue.

I’m also looking over our five-foot-high cedar fence at our thirty-foot extended berm. Pigeons are waddling around small, scattered pine trees and tufts of wild, green vegetation, enjoying the birdseed that I threw out there last night. My little white and bearded Terrier-mix is racing back and forth in a protective frenzy, crashing occasionally into the fence to scare off the pigeons from the berm. The smacking sounds against the fence startle some birds into a panic flight. I laugh at this dance of life, finding the whole picturesque scene delightfully entertaining.

All of sudden, I hear a ripping sound and my butt sinks through the lounge chair; but before I hit the ground, I manage to stumble to my feet. Such is probably the nature of positive life change.

Although there is a randomness and even and unexpected element to some changes, I’m wondering why choosing to make healthy change seems so difficult for many people. Of course my frame of reference comes from working more than 40 years in the mental health and addiction treatment field. Despite some of my clients choosing a better way to cope with challenges, too many held on to old behaviors, which eventually caused more pain, suffering, homelessness, multiple losses, and even death.

I’m sure you can relate to a friend or loved-one who refused to stop drinking, kept smoking, failed at weight loss, gave up on education, or stayed in unhealthy and even abusive relationships. Could it be that human beings aren’t nearly as rational as some experts suggest?

I’m also pretty frustrated with the status of American politics today. Why do too many “bright”, well-educated, wealthy politicians refuse to compromise on social issues like jobs, housing, healthcare, energy, taxation, and education?

The polls tell us that a majority of Americans want a balanced approach to fund desperately needed public projects with controlled spending and reasonable taxation. Yet the lobbyists, pressure groups, and so called grass-root organizations, encourage their leaders to dig in their heels for the sake of narrow beliefs and opinions. Come on political leaders, your power struggles are hurting us. Could it be you are as addicted to your own egos, control, power, fame and fortune as the alcoholic and drug users are addicted to their dopamine? If this is true, what works to free the addict from the bondage of self-delusion or self-harm, might help all of us experience more positive change today.

In my book, The Eby Way, I talk about four steps that can help all of us experience a better life. This approach can be applied to the political, economic, and social climate as well: vent negative emotions; use positive thoughts to maintain balance; take positive action; hold to positive beliefs. Let me show you how this process of emotional recovery can free our intellect to produce positive life changes.

For example, it’s time that all of us vent our anger, frustration, and anxiety over the apparent loss of the American dream. Then we need to start affirming some thoughts that will restore hope and faith like, “All human beings deserve freedom, employment, housing, transportation, and viable healthcare.” Once we start believing again that positive change is possible, let’s take a deep breath and tell our leaders we want compromise or “you’re fired!” And lastly, it’s time to change are values from the “survival of the fittest” and the debacle of the Adam Smith philosophy, to a more humane view; such as, “All of us have unconditional worth and value just because we are alive.”

Then, maybe the framework of our civilized world won’t rip apart. We can stumble back on our feet before our butts hit the ground. And we can embrace the Light that warms our hearts and spirit with the innate conviction that it is time to set ourselves truly free from addictions, negativity, self-harm, and destruction. All we need to do today is to try out four steps to emotional recovery and positive life change.

But unfortunately, some of us will choose to not change or simply do nothing. Why is that? It is a mystery to me. But I do have one core belief that has sustained me through many challenges, and setbacks: if most of us choose the positive all of us will prevail.


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    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Spiritsandghosts. Thanks so much for stopping by. Here's to the power of the positive over all that is negative. My book is about four steps we can all take to heal ourselves and improve the world. Peace and Light...Gary. Oh,sending blessing back to

    • Spiritsandghosts profile image

      Thalia Bhandari 

      6 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Things will get better. The world is changing for the positive. Your book sounds really interesting. Great post....blessings Thalia (spiritsandghosts)

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Lola: You're welcome. For me, I choose to believe that God is positive power. Here's to overcoming life challenges by making healthier choices. Always appreciate your Love. Peace, Light, Hugs.....Gary

    • Lola1929 profile image


      6 years ago from Oregon

      Hello qlcoach. Thanks for answering my question, "Is God Necessary?" I think you've answered it in your article here. You have a very basic view of God, of good vs. bad. We don't know why people continue in self defeating behavior. I think there are some people that just don't belong in this world. They need to be in the next, or the next, or the next. They just can't seem to make it is THIS world. I do like the fact that you focus on the positive, however. Even if God is not necessary, focusing on positive things in our lives can bring about good changes. Thank you for all of your insights. Love from Lola.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      thelyricwriter: Wow! Thank you for your support, honesty, and willingness to share your personal challenges. Although, I'm a retired social worker, I'm still trying to send a helpful message to others: the power of the positive always overcomes all that is negative. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      6 years ago from West Virginia

      Up, useful, and awesome. Gary, this is a great article with powerful points. I once was an addict and it nearly ruined my life. I am not proud to say it, but I am a changed man and I have no problem letting it fly now. My point, it was all negative. It was a negative choice with negative results. All my mistakes were a heavy burden on me. I know we all have our stories, but I was already an emotional person. I began to think negative about everything. I eventually hit rock bottom and awoke. Life is what you make it. In nearly all cases, you can go as far as you want. I let go of the negative thoughts, memories, and mistakes that I made. I quit living in the past. Some of us relive those greatest moments through our life and they can have negative affects on our future. You can't move on living in the past. We can't relive joy from the past to feel good in the future. When we do, it just makes us unhappy cause we are not feeling that way now. Live for the moment now and greet the future with optimistic action. Be positive. It really helps. I hope this makes the point I am trying to say. It is just so important to have a positive outlook on life compared to negative.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      SusieQ42: Thanks for your comments. I agree that addictions

      become negative friends that we have trouble giving up. Looking forward to reading more of your work about them. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Great hub, qlcoach. I write hubs about addictions and think that some of us are too lazy to put forth the effort to quit. Our addictions may be our "pals" and are hard to leave behind. Anyway, voted up and interesting.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Borntocare2001. Very thoughtful and insightful comments. I appreciate them I feel grateful for my choice to believe in the Power of the Positive over all that is negative. Yesterday, I survived a car wreck with only cracked ribs. And I prayed all the way through my ordeal. Blessings to you and to all who stop by to visit. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • Born2care2001 profile image

      Rev Bruce S Noll HMN 

      6 years ago from Asheville NC

      Great hub Coach!

      You've inspired me to continue my work with people, primarily men, and specifically college age men; to encourage them to understand that what they are really searching for is not the external world they are being sold by our current culture, but an internal fulfillment intrinsic to their humanity.

      You are reminding us that we have a choice. At some point in our lives, regardless of our previous or current conditioning, we have at each developmental stage along the way a decision to make as to what we will sow and reap. There is, also as a part of that choice, a realization that there is nothing anyone can do to take that choice away from us, unless we voluntarily give it up! In view of our present condition I think many of us, and I include myself here, have given up what we want most for what we see now!

      So, I believe Gandhi said it best, "We must be the change we want to see." And again, in my humble opinion, that is what we must first do individually before we can collectively point the finger at anyone else. It is then that we will be able to shout from the mountain tops that we are again...a free nation!

      Keep it up!

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      You're welcome. The best for me to honor you is to visit another one of your Hubs. Namaste....Gary.

    • lyns profile image


      6 years ago from USA

      Qlcoach, thanks so much coming from an individual with your background I truly appreciate you comment, have a good evening and thanks again

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Thank you lyns. I appreciate your interest in my approach to connecting with the power of the positive. I'll be visiting more of your Hubs too. You have much wisdom to share. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • lyns profile image


      6 years ago from USA

      Very good hub and useful thanks for sharing your story along with sharing the importance of positive thinking, I voted up, interesting, and useful.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Thank you JamaGenee. I value your input and your wisdom. Please keep in mind, my frame of reference comes from being a mental health and addictions counselor. Over the years I have developed some new ideas that really can help people heal. I believe America is addicted to money and all that money buys. If this is true, we need to have a revolution of positive ideas, values, and beliefs that will free us from these addictions and more. Hope you will take the time to further explore my theories explained in my other Hubs. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      6 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      A wonderful hub, Coach, for conducting one's personal life but I have to disagree that the same principles can be applied to changing the mindset of greed and corruption currently holding our country hostage. While the Occupy [insert city] protests are positive in that the Other 99% is no longer invisible, the purpose of the movement is, by necessity, negative.

      I also have to take issue with Borsia's statement that American consumers "bought everything made in Taiwan, Japan, and Korea" which brought about the closing of American factories. I can remember a time when items from those countries were shunned in favor of goods Made in America.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      The Clean Life: Thank you for your positive words and support regarding how we can all have a better life. Yes to the Light of Recovery that surrounds us all. Peace...Gary.

    • the clean life profile image

      Mark Bruno 

      6 years ago from New Jersey Shore

      Excellent message and hub Coach! Well written with everything right on the money. One thing Government or anyone can not take away from us is our positive attitude and our happiness. Voted Up and Useful.

      Thanks for your comments and Fan Mail as well.


    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 

      6 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Great hub Gary. I believe us to be kindred spirits and I am please to have found you and would love to be a follower too. Take care.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Wow. I'm glad you're enjoying my Hubs and my message: I hope people will see that my emotional recovery system can be applied to social change as well as personal healing. Namaste...Gary.

    • Admiral_Joraxx profile image


      6 years ago from Philippines

      Yeah, nobody can defeat a person with a positive mindset. He will not run out of goods because goodness is what he is attracting. Eby way is life changing, and the world was so blessed having it. Thanks for sharing this coach, this is so life changing. 1 vote up and useful!

    • Abby Lysach profile image

      Abby Lysach 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      It's really nice hub. I've heard a lot of news which tells us about a person's death by suicide. I feel sorry for them, because nobody helped him to get out of their frustrations. I hope your article or "The Eby Way" book can change their views to became more positive. Just like what you said that "the power of the positive" can bring miracles. ;-)

      Thanks for sharing this hub :-)

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Wow. I am humbled and grateful for your comments on this Hub. You are very wise and have good cause to be frustrated. I like the fact that you see our whole system is in trouble. So, let's keep venting and sharing our ideas. We do have the right to demand that our "leaders" compromise or it's time for them to go. Hopefully our readers will come up with some other solutions too. I still believe there is always a way to overcome all that is negative with the power of the positive. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • Borsia profile image


      6 years ago from Currently, Philippines

      There are a few reasons why what would seem to be simple isn't. The first is that there is no consensus on what to do. The second is egos. The third is corruption and a fourth is refusal to relinquish power; there are more, and these aren't in any particular order.

      The Democrats see government involvement as THE answer. Look at this weeks folly and see that the Dems wouldn't sign a bill that would cut $1.5 Billion in hand outs to the auto makers. Republicans don't want any bill that doesn't cut that pork but they also don't like the bill because it might raise taxes. Both of these positions are based in corruption and ego.

      Democrats really just want to raise taxes and keep spending. We know this to be fact given that they didn't cut anything for the 2 years they held majority in all 3 branches. We also know this because Obama is pushing yet another "stimulus" package despite the last 2 being abject failures.

      Republicans are against any raise in taxes because they are on the leash of billionaires and mega corporations.

      While Democrats are on the leash of unions and lawyers.

      The primary concept of what will increase employment is also highly debated. Again Democrats want government leading the way, which it can't. Obama's grand plan to "put America back to work" is completely balanced on government contracts. He apparently failed at math or he ditched all of his POD classes. Government contracts basically amounts to hiring yourself to do a job and expecting to make money at it. He, and his Democratic followers, went to the Peggy Bundy school of finance. (For those to young to remember the Married With Children TV series Peggy went to work selling cosmetics then achieved "top saleswoman" by buying her own inventory.) Taxpayers pay for everything done under government contract and those jobs become Public Sector jobs, no matter who does the work. They add nothing to the economy and in fact are a double negative.

      Republicans refuse to make adjustments to the hopeless tax code that gives huge cuts to those who should be paying more. The average tax paid by the top 15% of taxpayers is only 17% with many of the most wealthy paying nothing. The average middle class taxpayer is paying 10% or more higher taxes (roughly 26-28%).

      The US tax code has 5.6 Million words and 3500 pages or roughly 7x the amount found in any version of the Bible. It is so convoluted that there is no 1 person who understands it all.

      Lying behind all of this nonsense is corruption and at the top of the corruption food chain are the shadow people. The unimaginably wealthy few who pull the strings of the Federal Reserve and multinational corporations like Haliburton and most of the defense industry, for whom we fight virtually every war and who thrive on international turmoil.

      How many Americans know that the Federal Reserve has nothing to do with the Federal Government? Yep; no more than Federal Express or any other private enterprise with the word federal in the name.

      Yet our government allows them to dictate our interest rates, rule over our banks and financila institutions and even run our Mint. Notice that every American bill says "Federal Reserve Note" across the top as opposed to something like "1 US Dollar". The FR's books not only have never been audited they have never even been shown yo anyone in the US governmet.

      The biggest reason for all of this is greed. From top to bottom and everywhere in between.

      Americans complain about the outsourcing of so many jobs, especially manufacturing jobs. But those same Americans voted to outsource those jobs with their wallets. They bought the cheapest item on the shelf virtually every time they made a purchase. They bought everything made in Japan, then made in Korea, then made in Taiwan and now made in China. For this they want to blame those countries, but the fault is their's.

      Now they no longer have the option of buying American because we don't make anything.

      They raved about the great price they paid without ever considering the consequences.

      Now they are crying "Bring back those jobs!" but they don't want to pay 10-20% more, or even 5% for that matter.

    • qlcoach profile imageAUTHOR

      Gary Eby 

      7 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Thank you Naturalsolutions. Yes to the power of positive thinking. But it okay to let go of negative emotions first so we can see unlimited opportunities. Peace and Light...Gary.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I believe to the law of attraction, the things that you think will probably happen so never think of negative things instead think of the most positive things.


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