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Pregnancy Breakups

Updated on March 21, 2012

Twice As Much

Relationships are very difficult. Period. It is very hard to maintain and keep healthy. When you think you know someone and they turn out to be a dark prince in disguise that is even more heart breaking. This article is for all the women who are pregnant and broke up with the father. Or for women who were pregnant and broke up with the dad. Even if your upcoming or baby was planned or not it doesn't matter. We as woman kind of expect that when we tell the man were pregnant with their baby that they will do the right thing. Or at least have an idea of what that is. We don't expect them to go running into the hills screaming like a little girl because there is a fire. (so to speak) I mean seriously, we expect them to become a real man and understand that they need to support us. Well if only it was that simple. Personally i think the fastest way to see a man act like he was born with a vagina and gain boobs is tell them you are pregnant with their child. Now lets explore the issue that things were not sailing so smoothly before you relayed the news to him. It wasn't in the worst condition but you had your problems like every couple.

The Shock

Now even if your issues were solvable it seemed that finding out you was having a baby would make it more important to work things through. Well when you tell him he seems to act as if this was something that was planned out on your part not his. I could easily say he is jerk but then in all reality it is not the truth. His mind goes to the panic button. Men know inside that having a baby means they will always have an attachment to you. So just as we may have hit the panic switch when we found out so did he. So slowly things seem to fizzle away until eventually he breaks it off with you. While your pregnant. You completely shocked think he is making a big mistake. With your hormones flying you may say or do stuff that is not rational. Then you see he is with someone else. You think what the hell? Well before we go get our female guns lets just pause. I Spoke with a lot of different men who are fathers. They know they are wrong to leave you but they just can't understand while one minute were okay the next we want to bite their head off. Think of it like this they maybe 30 years old but still 16 in the head. The new chick is because they are easing there own mind that they are not completely trapped. They really want to test you to see how you will handle it. Naturally they would pick the wrong time to mess around with our feelings. So the solution? Well don't give anyone the pleasure of making you look like your out of control. You need to realize deep down they know how stupid they are being. Your job is not to advertise that but to focus on more important things. Like not being stressed out. If they want to act like garbage then don't chase after them.

After the baby is born

We again expect that with the birth of the new baby that they will change their mind if they haven't already. That they need to be around. They need to make effort to be a parent. Well some men get it. The ones that even if they was around 16 before they are now around 21 and know they have a responsibility. Some of them go from 16 back to 6 years old in the mind. And some of them stay the same, 16. So lets say he doesn't change. Instead he still goes off pretending he has no cares in the world. Makes you really pissed off right? Of course, but take heart because the pain, anger, and disappointment you feel will get better as soon as you get better. You have to let them go. You can't hold onto those feelings. They not only keep hurting you but they will spread to your child. You have to look at the bright side. Someone who acts like that is better off without their child. They will only act like a fool and put the baby at risk. If they want to be in your child's life, I'm not saying not to give them a chance. You need too. Just keep your personal feelings out of the picture. Let him have the chance to grow up. If he doesn't then you have every right to prove he is not being good to the child. If he doesn't want the baby at all then let him walk. You can't force someone to grow up. If they want to walk around like they have no cares then they are going to regret it later. Trust me, just play your cards correctly and you will be fine.

Real Talk

Now that I have told you about all the things you could do as a female let me talk on the man's side for a second. Just like their is two sides to every coin, their is two sides every story. From the men I spoke with and having read about behavioral science. I can tell you that men freak out too. In fact, I honestly believe they are more emotionally unstable then women. They just show it differently. It comes out in their actions instead of words. So before we go hating the guy for being a lowlife, let us think. A child is a big deal. They know and sometimes they just personally feel they may fuck it up and don't want that. They know how stupid they are sometimes. They know you will probably be twice as more likely to take care of the baby better than they could. I'm not making excuses for them as I don't personally agree with that kind of attitude but that could very well be their side of the story. Or sometimes its that every time they try you attack them so bad with words they don't want the headache. All my point is that don't make it impossible for them to grow up. That's what you really want right? So give them the chance to do so by biting your lips and letting him have a chance with the baby. Your personal feelings be damned just wait. They might surprise you. The ones that don't want the baby I could curse them out from here to hell and back. Although since I don't know what the hell they are thinking I will just say let them go. Easier for you anyway you can find someone who does want a family. I hope you enjoyed the article, if you want you can leave comments at the bottom of the page. Thank you for reading. :)

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      India 2 years ago

      You've really impssered me with that answer!

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      Mikel 2 years ago

      Your post is a timely cotrtibunion to the debate