- Women's Health»
Pregnancy and Abortion -- Our Options As Parents
More than ever young female teenagers are facing the problem of getting themselves pregnant, even though some just say the rate has dropped since 2001. Why is that they get pregnant so easily? Why do they allow themselves to go through this problem, that will be carried away for 18 years or more?
By the time a teen reaches an average of 13-14 years old, she has been through a lot; there has been an internal process that have been developing and now wants to be tested in real timing. Seems like an analogy with a new Porsche, but it actually deals with a life that is joining society whether she likes it or not. Early pregnancies happen for so many reasons, some are so evident and others are just overlooked.
+ Broken down families
When the male figure has abandoned the cell of our society, girls take the issue to their hearts. Is a shame because a future mom has been giving a traumatic head-start in life. More than 58% parents lack a 'man in the house.' The other 42%? Well is not that easy for some. Would you rip apart that basement with a pool and a bar, for the solely pleasure of getting separated?
++ Parents didn't listen
Maybe there were signs, so evident that we could've blame her parents for let this happen. "Am I pregnant? Did you miss your period? How do you feel when you get pregnant?" These are the questions teens ask to their best female friends, leaving aside their parents intervention. If they had you as a friend, besides being a mom or dad, most likely they would've come to you.
++ More than one job and two parents working
You must have heard that living in a volatile economy, two jobs were better than one. The home prices doubled since 1993, but parents got a 28% raise, which created and unwanted burden and a financial gap. This gave our teens more freedom to be at their "best girlfriend's house." As a parent, you knew deep inside that spending the night on someone else's bed (BFF) was an announcement of that 'sum of all fears.'
Hormones, genes and trendings
If you ever noticed at the malls, those two girls giggling and having a good time. What makes them get together and sometimes get along better than at home? We just come with a simple answer: Parents didn't have time, or they were too tired for that daily commuting. Sorry to tell you, but you didn't make time for them. Another reason, very personal by the way, was that they wanted to feel their independence. Between ice creams, the last cellphones and tight jeans, they wanted to know: " Am I ugly? How can I find real love? The one that we don't get it anymore because we are too old now? How can I find this crazy wish for a boy that could sing like 'the Jonas Brothers,' and kiss like Zac Efron?"
The answer will come naturally: "let's test the waters on the other side of the river." More going outs will be seen, more excuses to get their homework done at Sally's will be asked for. Some parents deep inside feared these years and wanted to root it out of their memories. We must wonder, why in the world you brought kids into this nasty society anyway? Was it your lack of Cable in your college dormitory?
Boy will be boys and will tell you what you want to hear...
Like on that Grease movie set. Girls on one side, checking out the best prospective future boyfriend, and boys on the other corner practicing 'hipping around' for that summer loving that will drift some girls away. Peer pressure, tattooing, music and lies from the boys would make up for the talk our teens never had at home. Is a shame because the future of your grand kids was left out of the house. Or behind your back porsche adding 'smooching sounds.' Crude but has been happening for generations. From 'Father knows best,' to 'American Graffiti,' sexual revolution gave our kids that 'license to kill.'
Won't mention the mob or medical interest involves in this issue, but will put this clear: Abortion has been destroying our society. The worst thing a girl could do is get herself an abortion. Since legalization, abortion has brought a personal holocaust to every home. The death of more than 2,700 citizens at the 9/11 events has raised more eyebrows than in any serial massacre... and we don't downsize the outrage by any means. We just happen to see, in our minds, this little 14 years old girl getting an abortion with two paychecks from McDonald's. And unfortunately she just has read us (good bless you.)
You as a teen see yourself against the corner of life. Boyfriends will push for that abortion, because they just wanted sex. Friends, careers and lack of money will step on that balance of 'decision making.' The 'why me,' and that 'I knew it but I never listened,' will down on you shutting down opportunities that require a worry free mind.
One thing comes to our mind: We never studied to become parents. Instinctively we learned as we went. We read instructions and manuals. We learned how to change diapers (squirted of course), and compared 'stool colors'... getting that Isomil ready, and double checking their shots dates was advised by that OB-GYN nurse from Philippines. But, this was not planned for most. Our kids followed that cycle, and got caught in that whirlpool as well. Could we have prevented it? Sure! Why not? You needed to get rid of some iPads, MP6's and that 'Nook.' But that was not so easy to do: You paid for them to build up your credit from your last divorce! And you didn't want to go viral on YouTube.
Go back and check your grandparents and their morality. Between curfews, threats of cutting your parents' allowances, you knew they had to listen. Today everything is unfortunately against the parent: The school system, work, entertainment role models and... yourself.
We never wanted to say it was too late to mend a mistake, but letting it happen over and over, was a sign of an recurring and impending debacle. That's when we think about 'run Forrest' and his mommy saying,"life 'was' like a box of chocolate." (click!)
Parents should allow freedom but with certain common sense responsibilities. Sounds easy, but hard to abide by. Is like your daughter is ready to go to the bathroom, and you want her to make you some coffee.
Parents with rebellious teens should rework their talking. Parents should get counseling, because the task requires more than just advising and giving warnings. Parents should asses their roles and bring back genuine love in their relationship with their teens. After all, your kids always wanted...to be loved.