ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Pregnant or Not?--Chemical Pregnancies

Updated on September 19, 2016
Janine Huldie profile image

Janine is a published author in Only Trollops Shave Above the Knees, appears on The Huffington Post and at Confessions of A Mommyaholic.

Source

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. In September of 2008, my then OB/GYN told me , "I was a little bit pregnant" and I was due in May 2009 confirming the positive pregnancy test taken earlier that day. For someone TTC (Trying to Conceive) for a few months at this point, I was over the moon happy to be pregnant and expecting our first child.

Fast forward to a week later, after spending a grueling week taking home pregnancy tests that did not show very much progression on the actual test lines which were now faint and almost not even there at all and now I was left worrying and having doubt clouding my judgement. My doctor confirmed the worst that, "It was indeed a loss". Those words tore at my heart and made me realize just how horrible you could feel about losing something that you barely ever even had to begin with.

What made me think of this after so long? Believe it or not, I recently heard that someone else I know had gone through this and it is ironically not the first time another friend or acquaintance has gone through a chemical pregnancy that I have been privy to hearing about.

Source
Note the line never gets darker, but actually appears to just fade away, just as the dream of having a baby does too.
Note the line never gets darker, but actually appears to just fade away, just as the dream of having a baby does too. | Source

What is a Chemical Pregnancy?

So what then is a chemical pregnancy? Chemical pregnancies occur when a miscarriage takes place pretty much at the same point when a a home pregnancy test or HCG blood test confirms the afore mentioned pregnancy. And therefore these two tests would be the only evidence that a woman was indeed pregnant, even though they miscarried and are now no longer pregnant.

Miscarriages occurring with a chemical pregnancy happen before the fifth week of gestation and a week after a missed period. Thus it would be classified as an extremely early miscarriage.

The main symptom of a chemical pregnancy is vaginal bleeding very soon after the initial positive pregnancy test and HCG blood hormone levels reveal decreasing amounts of this hormone rather than increasing, thus making your positive pregnancy tests line fade rather than get darker.

Yes, it is pretty much a cruel and hurtful joke. Believe me, as I said earlier I have been there. So how can you get past this loss to be able move on from here? Take it from me it is not easy and time does help, but will try to give you a few pointers on how to cope with this loss.

Source
Source
Source

How to Move Forward..

1. Time to Grieve and Deal with Your Emotions:

This is a loss not matter what. Even though you physically lost something here. You also lost something emotionally and need to some time to quite frankly grieve that loss. As I said earlier, I had this happen to me and can tell you that I truly reeled from this experience. I remember quite frankly being an emotional wreck. Hormones do not help either, because you already have some of the pregnancy hormones that can make a pregnant woman a bit well psychotic for the lack of a better word! After all, you were pregnant even if it was just for a short time, those pregnancy hormones still did exist. I literally went through the stages of grief, one minute crying so hard I couldn't see straight; being so angry the next, just screaming and shouting to hope this would make me feel somewhat better; finally being able to reflect a bit and thus try to move beyond this experience.

2. Allow Your Physical Body Time to Heal Too:

Before you try again make sure that you are ok physically too. Yes for the most part since this was an early loss, you will not need a D and C, which is procedure to scrape and collect the tissue or quite frankly the fetus from inside the uterus. A woman who has a chemical pregnancy may have what would appear to be their monthly period. So even though for the most part physically you would appear to be okay. Still try to remember from the previous section that the actual pregnancy hormones were in existence and those do need to return to normal hormonal levels to give you some relief here.

3. When You Are Ready to Try Again, Make Sure to Keep It All in Perspective:

Once you are physically and mentally well again from this experience, you will probably want to try to conceive again. Just make sure to put your feelings and expectations in perspective. Remember you may or may not get pregnant again the first first month you are trying again and take time to enjoy the physical act of trying to get pregnant again. Trust me yet again from experience, in the case it is truly better to stop and smell the roses so to speak. I remember trying again after my chemical pregnancy and the first month I did everything by the book in manner of speaking. It drove my husband crazy and he even told me does everything have to be so clinical. Well, we did not conceive that first month out, but did the second month when I relaxed a bit and just enjoyed the actual moment and went with the flow.

4. If Pregnant Again, Wait to Share the News Until You Know That the Pregnancy Is Indeed a Viable, Healthy Pregnancy This Time Out:

One last piece of advice, try not to blurt out to everyone and their mother that you are pregnant again even before the home pregnancy test dries!! Seriously, try to remember that you already had an early loss once and that if it should happen again, it would probably not be fun to have to share with the masses that loss. When I got pregnant again two cycles later (with my now 3 year old daughter), we only told our parents and waited to tell the rest of our family and friends until after my first trimester ended and we had had the Nuchal Fold Sonogram at 12 weeks to make sure the baby was indeed Ok and healthy. After having one early loss, I truly couldn't bare if I had another having to share this with everyone and have them feel sorry and pity me. Trust me I do know it is hard to wait to share such happy news, but sometimes having a bit of patience isn't a bad this and is a necessity, especially in this case.

Source
The author's two beautiful daughters!
The author's two beautiful daughters! | Source

Summing It Up...

Time does indeed heal most wounds. Getting pregnant only to finally give birth to a healthy, beautiful baby also does helps and does make a world of difference. Again take it from someone who again has been there and done that. Two healthy pregnancies and subsequent deliveries later, I can attest to that. I am now the proud mother of two little girls--a three year old and almost 2 year old and my chemical pregnancy is now a distant memory. Don't get me wrong, I have not forgotten it and as long as I live I will probably always remember this experience, but it is definitely not as heart wrenching as when it first happened. I happen to believe everything does happen for a reason. If I didn't go through this loss, I might not have my daughters and I just don't want to imagine a world without them in it.

Source
Source

About the Author

Janine is a freelance writer and mom of two. She is known for being a stay at home mom to two beautiful little girls right now. Life can totally get hectic and has learned to perfect and improvise at meal times, because of this. You can checkout her profile and more of her family related articles here.

Are you interested in writing for Hubpages? You can sign up today and publish your first article!

© 2012 Janine Huldie

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It is through sharing stories like this one that we have our biggest effect as writers. Reaching out to others and letting them know that they are not alone during trials and tribulations....well, that is our highest calling as writers. Well done my dear; I applaud you for sharing your personal story so that others might learn.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      I agree whole heartedly on this Bill. And as I wrote you on Facebook I honestly should have written this story sooner and got sidetracked, but am very glad to share this experience if only to be able to help someone else going through this or that will go through this. I remember going through this and feeling so alone and just wanting to read more information on this topic. So I do very much hope this gives someone else some form of help, as well as hope that they can can past this and get pregnant successfully again. Thank you again for your kindness and support!!!

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      Great job on this article. I had a chemical pregnancy right after having a horrible miscarriage, and I agree- these can be terribly painful emotionally. Voting up!!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Sorry to hear that you too experienced a chemical pregnancy, but thank you for sharing your experience. I really do blame the pregnancy hormones that are still present in your body during this experience that make your emotions be all over the place. Thank you seriously for your comment though and the votes too, so very appreciated!!

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      I am with you Janine. But just imagine my wife on her 8 1/2 month of pregnancy. One morning the baby starts kicking and as a dad, rushed my wife to the hospital. You are happy to feel ... like your son is coming to this world a little earlier... right? Wrong. Nature decided to take this full developed baby home; in a few words, her placenta detached and the baby was kicking because he was not getting hisdose of love and nutrients along with oxigene through the umbilical chord. Now you know why we are like family. Your hubs is really supportive and will help so many women that will have to deal with these dangers. Thanks for writing this important hub my friend.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh Joseph, first let me say I am so very sorry for your loss at that late stage of pregnancy for you and your wife both. I actually had something similar with my second, which was diagnosed as placenta previa (even wrote and article on this). My story ended happily though, because it was caught at a much earlier stage and was hospitalized and put on bed rest too. It is so very scary and my heart truly does go out to you and your wife. Please know that I feel terrible just reading this. Thank you though from the bottom of my heart for sharing and appreciate your comment here greatly.

    • profile image

      Jessica 4 years ago

      This was a great article. It was eye opening. This had so much information, and it was so easy to read, i'm glad I did.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you so very much for reading and for your kind words on my article here. I am very appreciative of your thoughtfulness here and glad that you found this article interesting and helpful too!

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 4 years ago from Iowa

      I am sure you are helping others by sharing your story, Janine. I agree with your advice about not sharing the news too early. It makes me so nervous when people announce their pregnancies in the first few weeks.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Deborah, thank you for saying that. I truly do hope this can help someone else, because I remember what it felt like when it was happening to me and just would have loved to have read someone else perspective who did indeed go through something similar. Glad also I am not the only one who gets nervous when someone shares their pregnancy news very early on.

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

      I read this hub with some trepidation as we have had 5 miscarriages, but only one of them was a chemical pregnancy. The rest were further along. When we were pregnant with my daughter we tried to wait to announce it, but since I threw up anywhere and everywhere I went it was hard to keep it a secret. I still feel every one of those miscarriage equally and with great sadness. This was a good hub on this difficult subject.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Glimmer Twin Fan, I am so sorry for all the miscarriages and chemical pregnancies you have had. My heart truly goes out to you. I only had the one loss with the chemical, but could totally understand your trepidation reading my article on this touchy and difficult subject. Please know I can only express my sympathy on all you have been through with these losses and have you in my thoughts too. Thank you again for commenting and sharing your story here.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      What a sweet story shared from a mother's heart! Your sharing will inspire others who have been down due to their failed attempts at pregnancy. Your little girls are adorable.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Dianna, thank you so much for saying such kind things here about my article, my story and my girls too. So very much appreciated as always!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you for another useful and informative article Janine. I never heard about chemical pregnancies until now. Very interesting. BTW it's always nice to see Emma and Lily in your hubs:)

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Linda, I too never heard of chemical pregnancies until I actually had it occur and happen to me back then. Once it happened though, I wanted to know why and just become educated on it. Plus I had a horrible doctor at the time that pretty much left me to go through on of this on my own. Thankfully, I found a wonderful doctor who ended up delivering my girls. So again I do thin everything does happen for a reason. Thank you seriously for your comment here and your compliments on my girls :),

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Janine, this was a wonderful sharing, but must have been at least a little painful. Glad that you've gone on and raised two beautiful girls. May your hub change many lives. Sharing all over.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Michelle, it definitely was very hard on me when I was going through, but do believed if it didn't happened for two reasons. One my doctor at that time was not very nice and did not have great bedside manner. And I had two beautiful girls and just so grateful for that. Thank you for your comment, and for sharing this too!

    • Mama Kim 8 profile image

      Sasha Kim 4 years ago

      I had one of these while TTC our second. At that point it had already been 8 months of trying. I was devastated... but 4 months later for a total of a year TTC I finally became pregnant with our little girl (the one in my profile picture). I had a friend recently go through a miscarriage a little further into her pregnancy and she found great comfort in knowing that it's not the end. Being able to talk to someone else who's gone through it is very healing, which is why I'm so happy you've written this hub! This will be a great comfort to many women out there, bravo! Voted and sharing!!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Mama Kim 8, I am so sorry you had to go through that while TTC your second time, but your little girl in your profile picture is indeed adorable and a total blessing. I can totally agree with you about being able to find comfort talking to others who have had similar experiences and remember feeling that I wished I could just speak to someone at that time in my life who indeed did have a similar experience. Thank you for your kindness here and was glad to write in hopes that this could help someone else who either went through it or is fooling through it. Thank you also for the votes and sharing too!

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 4 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Janine, I have added a link to this Hub on a Hub that I have written on Miscarriage, I hoe that you don't mind.....jimmy

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Awesome Jimmy, because I just did the same for you and hope you don't mind either. It is my pleasure and very happy to have the two linked :) :)

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 4 years ago from Western NC

      Very informational hub, Janine. I miscarried later (10 weeks) and I had told EVERYONE - even our stinkin' vet. This happened in 2011 and only now am I able to even think about all this again. I don't think I'll tell anyone if it happens again until there's no denying it, haha. I love your loving explanations and how you approached this. You're awesome!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      First off, Cyndi I am so sorry for your loss, but know you aren't alone. I too told too many when I went through this chemical pregnancy and at the time wished I could crawl into a hole and then you add the hormones to it and I was a mess. It is only after having two kids and looking back that I can see that everything does happen for a reason, but that said during that time not so much. Happy to share and just hope this article can help others!! Thanks so much for sharing your story here with me!!

    • healthy meals profile image

      healthy meals 4 years ago from Europe

      This comes so timely and close to my heart, I can barely imagine that one can get over it-at a time when I only think about crying. Thank you for sharing your experience, it was good to read about it. I am happy for you that you managed to get there and finally mother two beautiful girls.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      I am very happy to share this and try to help those who are going through or may go through this know that they aren't alone. I did go through this and it truly broke my heart when I did, but I swear it does get better and now I know that if I didn't go through I never would have had my two girls, so there really is a silver lining to this one. Thank you for commenting and sharing, too!!

    • profile image

      Mary 15 months ago

      Thankyou. I've been having such a hard time dealing with this chemical pregnancy. I had two full term healthy pregnancies in the past, and was really wanting a third (even though it had happened on accident). I was so excited, and a week later, I can no longer do anything without bursting into tears or anger; I feel like my two year old when she has one of her super tantrums. So many emotions, and my husband doesn't understand them at all. He is happy to have more time to save money. The part you said about everything happening for a reason, and that you may not have your two girls if this hadn't happened... That really hit home. There are no words to comfort a grieving mother, but may God be with all of you through these darkest of days.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 7 months ago from New York, New York

      Mary, I am so sorry I didn't see your comment earlier and only seeing it for the first time today. Thank you for sharing with me and hoping you are doing OK many months later. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you now.

    • profile image

      Donnadollah 6 months ago

      I haven't thought about my 2 chemical pregnancies in over 28 years. It's an odd feeling to say the least. One minute you're pregnant and the next they are telling you through an ultra sound that nothing is there. This was back in the dark ages when we didn't have the internet so you just were told the news and with some bewilderment you took the Dr. at their word while moving forward alone. It was a loss that I didn't give myself permission to grieve. It would have helped to hear that others had experienced the same thing. Thank you for sharing your story and I am very sorry that you've had this experience.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 3 months ago from New York, New York

      Thank you also for sharing with me here and also very sorry to hear of your past loss, as well.

    • Natalie Frank profile image

      Natalie Frank 5 weeks ago from Chicago, IL

      Thank you for such an honest article detailing a very difficult situation. It can't have been easy to write about this but your courage has undoubtedly helped a lot of women (and their husbands/partners) as they try to deal with this terribly painful event in their life.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 5 weeks ago from New York, New York

      Thank you, Natalie for your kind words and truly appreciate it.

    Click to Rate This Article