Pregnant or Not?--Chemical Pregnancies
If You Want to Read More About My TTC Journey:
- Trying to Conceive (TTC) and The Dreaded Two Week Wa...
This Hub chronicles a period in my life when my husband and I began to try to conceive our baby for the very first time. It deals with the trials and tribulations of first trying to conceive. It also deals with a bit of heart break for us, but how we
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. In September of 2008, my then OB/GYN told me , "I was a little bit pregnant" and I was due in May 2009 confirming the positive pregnancy test taken earlier that day. For someone TTC (Trying to Conceive) for a few months at this point, I was over the moon happy to be pregnant and expecting our first child.
Fast forward to a week later, after spending a grueling week taking home pregnancy tests that did not show very much progression on the actual test lines which were now faint and almost not even there at all and now I was left worrying and having doubt clouding my judgement. My doctor confirmed the worst that, "It was indeed a loss". Those words tore at my heart and made me realize just how horrible you could feel about losing something that you barely ever even had to begin with.
What made me think of this after so long? Believe it or not, I recently heard that someone else I know had gone through this and it is ironically not the first time another friend or acquaintance has gone through a chemical pregnancy that I have been privy to hearing about.
What is a Chemical Pregnancy?
So what then is a chemical pregnancy? Chemical pregnancies occur when a miscarriage takes place pretty much at the same point when a a home pregnancy test or HCG blood test confirms the afore mentioned pregnancy. And therefore these two tests would be the only evidence that a woman was indeed pregnant, even though they miscarried and are now no longer pregnant.
Miscarriages occurring with a chemical pregnancy happen before the fifth week of gestation and a week after a missed period. Thus it would be classified as an extremely early miscarriage.
The main symptom of a chemical pregnancy is vaginal bleeding very soon after the initial positive pregnancy test and HCG blood hormone levels reveal decreasing amounts of this hormone rather than increasing, thus making your positive pregnancy tests line fade rather than get darker.
Yes, it is pretty much a cruel and hurtful joke. Believe me, as I said earlier I have been there. So how can you get past this loss to be able move on from here? Take it from me it is not easy and time does help, but will try to give you a few pointers on how to cope with this loss.
Buy Books on Dealing with Grief and Loss on Amazon:
Read More about Nuchal Fold Sonogram and the other types of sonograms:
- Different Types of Sonograms During Pregnancy
This Hub article details the different types of Sonograms that are offered during pregnancy. During both my pregnancies, I had many of these sonograms performed.
Read More About Conceiving After a Miscarriage Here from Jimmythejock:
- How Soon Can You Get Pregnant After a Miscarriage?
After a miscarriage how long should we wait before trying again?
How to Move Forward..
1. Time to Grieve and Deal with Your Emotions:
This is a loss not matter what. Even though you physically lost something here. You also lost something emotionally and need to some time to quite frankly grieve that loss. As I said earlier, I had this happen to me and can tell you that I truly reeled from this experience. I remember quite frankly being an emotional wreck. Hormones do not help either, because you already have some of the pregnancy hormones that can make a pregnant woman a bit well psychotic for the lack of a better word! After all, you were pregnant even if it was just for a short time, those pregnancy hormones still did exist. I literally went through the stages of grief, one minute crying so hard I couldn't see straight; being so angry the next, just screaming and shouting to hope this would make me feel somewhat better; finally being able to reflect a bit and thus try to move beyond this experience.
2. Allow Your Physical Body Time to Heal Too:
Before you try again make sure that you are ok physically too. Yes for the most part since this was an early loss, you will not need a D and C, which is procedure to scrape and collect the tissue or quite frankly the fetus from inside the uterus. A woman who has a chemical pregnancy may have what would appear to be their monthly period. So even though for the most part physically you would appear to be okay. Still try to remember from the previous section that the actual pregnancy hormones were in existence and those do need to return to normal hormonal levels to give you some relief here.
3. When You Are Ready to Try Again, Make Sure to Keep It All in Perspective:
Once you are physically and mentally well again from this experience, you will probably want to try to conceive again. Just make sure to put your feelings and expectations in perspective. Remember you may or may not get pregnant again the first first month you are trying again and take time to enjoy the physical act of trying to get pregnant again. Trust me yet again from experience, in the case it is truly better to stop and smell the roses so to speak. I remember trying again after my chemical pregnancy and the first month I did everything by the book in manner of speaking. It drove my husband crazy and he even told me does everything have to be so clinical. Well, we did not conceive that first month out, but did the second month when I relaxed a bit and just enjoyed the actual moment and went with the flow.
4. If Pregnant Again, Wait to Share the News Until You Know That the Pregnancy Is Indeed a Viable, Healthy Pregnancy This Time Out:
One last piece of advice, try not to blurt out to everyone and their mother that you are pregnant again even before the home pregnancy test dries!! Seriously, try to remember that you already had an early loss once and that if it should happen again, it would probably not be fun to have to share with the masses that loss. When I got pregnant again two cycles later (with my now 3 year old daughter), we only told our parents and waited to tell the rest of our family and friends until after my first trimester ended and we had had the Nuchal Fold Sonogram at 12 weeks to make sure the baby was indeed Ok and healthy. After having one early loss, I truly couldn't bare if I had another having to share this with everyone and have them feel sorry and pity me. Trust me I do know it is hard to wait to share such happy news, but sometimes having a bit of patience isn't a bad this and is a necessity, especially in this case.
Summing It Up...
Time does indeed heal most wounds. Getting pregnant only to finally give birth to a healthy, beautiful baby also does helps and does make a world of difference. Again take it from someone who again has been there and done that. Two healthy pregnancies and subsequent deliveries later, I can attest to that. I am now the proud mother of two little girls--a three year old and almost 2 year old and my chemical pregnancy is now a distant memory. Don't get me wrong, I have not forgotten it and as long as I live I will probably always remember this experience, but it is definitely not as heart wrenching as when it first happened. I happen to believe everything does happen for a reason. If I didn't go through this loss, I might not have my daughters and I just don't want to imagine a world without them in it.
About the Author
Janine is a freelance writer and mom of two. She is known for being a stay at home mom to two beautiful little girls right now. Life can totally get hectic and has learned to perfect and improvise at meal times, because of this. You can checkout her profile and more of her family related articles here.
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© 2012 Janine Huldie
© 2012 Janine Huldie