Putting Yourself in the Front Seat
I am no expert on the matter of self-help. I have a plethora of issues that need to be dealt with and in that respect, I am an expert at being human. There are challenges everyday. My philosophy before this past week was tackle what is in front of you, but I realized that these are all a result of a bigger problem.
I am neglecting myself.
Let me back up!
In 2011, my sophomore year of college, I decided that I wanted to be more of a presence on campus. I actually wanted to give back to the school that I was attending. I saw my friends say "Hi" to people from their sorority or their club. I could not afford to be in a sorority and clubs barely met. One day I got a letter in the school mailbox from the National Society of Leadership and Success. I was excited, but curious. Why me? I am not a leader on campus. I can be defined as "success" meaning I get good grades. So I went to look up more information on Google. At the time, their publicity was not being handled well because I saw "Spam," "Spam," and "Spam." Yet, how did I decide to pay $85? My roommate persuaded me to do it. I thought we would go through the process together, but we didn't for other reasons. I stuck with it and cheated my way around credits, but when I was inducted, I got the perfect induction ceremony for me: a pizza party. When inducted into a society, it should be prestigious, but I did not get inducted for really trying. I got in for lying. I did not feel worthy of being in the society. Executive Board applications opened, and I knew that to be something worthy on campus, I had to actually be active. I put my application in to be SNT Coordinator and was given the Events chair. Awesome. My first semester was awful. I got bronchitis. I did not even know how to do my job. I did not what money I could spend or how to reserve a room. I gave up. I was too sick and trying to join Phi Sigma Pi Honors Fraternity. They asked me not to return because I was unable to make it to their events, which by the way I was too sick to go to. I went to a meeting being sick and they told me to leave, even after I told them why I went sick was not for them to think I was not dedicated. Going off topic, that was one less thing for me anyway. The summer of that year, I got an email from my friend on the executive board saying she was now President and needed a Vice President. I did not think I was good for the job, but I teased about how I should be it. Guess what? I got it. I was good at it. We learned a lot through trial and error. I learned how to make room requests, but what taught me was those who looked to me for help. I started becoming confident and comfortable in my position, until my support system went away. The president graduated last year making me in charge. What a scary thought. I am never in charge of anything. I knew my stuff, but could I really do it? Well, last semester we had our highest induction rate. We are growing our engaged member community. This semester is the largest spring semester for our campus. We won the local chapter award, and have three advisers for the society. This is all great for me as a leader, but lets look at the other side of being in college.
My academics are fine. I am passing all my classes, but I have time management skills that need development. This semester has been the hardest because of how much I have to do: 75 hours in field experience with accompanied classwork, the classwork and readings, and all these extra things for outside the classroom like poster fairs or going to a speaker. I mean they are great and diverse ways of learning, but I have other obligations as well and a personal life.
Wait I have a personal life?....No, not really. Which leads me to the point of this article!
Putting Yourself in the Front Seat
My life for the past two years have been worrying about others. Have they gone to all the speakers? Are they communicating with their SNT? Lets create a mentor program to help them. Lets create a point system to keep them engaged. What kind of incentive can we get them to stay? Why have I stayed?
Why have I stayed? The society has become an obsession for me. It is something that I am good at and inspiring others. I am taking what I learn in the classroom and applying it to real people without a grade. I am getting the same perks as the members who have been inducted, but am I really? Are they getting the chance to meet new and amazing people every semester? When they walk down the sidewalk, do they get a chance to wave at different people? I have succeeded with my first goal. Part of the Success Networking Team process is to make a goal. At first I did not realize that my goal was to become a leader. Now at this point in my life I realized I succeeded. I am going to continue to grow as a leader, but the next part of my journey is to give someone else the chance to succeed.
Now is the time for me to put myself in the front seat. Over spring break, I caught up on homework and cleaned. The relief to hangout in the living room without clutter and dirty dishes is amazing, to see my cat lounging on the opposite chair or on the couch is too. It is not spotless, but it is getting better. With the mess in the cabin getting cleaner so is my mind. It is like the state of where I live is a reflection of what is going on in my head. I just need those times to sort everything out.
How am I approaching this?
1. Cleaning: Everyday there is something new to be cleaned and put away. The act is annoying, but it keeps the place clean.
2. Time Management: How long will this take me to do? When is it due? When should I do this? Can it be broken up into parts? If it can be broken into parts, that gives you some extra time in the day to do something else.
3. Exercise: I think I consume myself with things to do as an excuse to not exercise. I need to make this a routine, like brushing my teeth. See doc, I listen!
4. Start making the plans to make yourself feel better. What do I need to do to feel better? What makes me hurt? What makes me feel the negative emotions? What are the triggers?
4a. Suggestion to figure this out: A diary, a blog, a friend.
How satisfied are you with your life?
We are all different
I am no expert on this. If this works out, I will post more articles about my development to self-improvement. You may think I am too young to really understand the pains of life or that your situation is different. You are right if you are thinking this. I am different than you! My suggestions are vague and common, but they are working for me.
It is like a diet. They are different plans to the same result: a healthy life. Different plans for different people with different bodies. Different plans for different people with different problems. No matter how you spin it, we are all different.
If you take anything from this post, please let it be this. Find a support system. Every support system is different as well. With me, I hate being nagged. Don't nag me and put me down. Just listen to me when I do reach out and support the suggestions at the moment. It is working for me now because I am getting the support I need.
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