- Quality of Life & Wellness
Real Self Improvement Is Scary
Like the title says, real self improvement is scary, actually it's very very scary. I say this not to demotivate, i say it because it's true. Small improvements such as developing a new habit, quitting old ones, choosing to optimise your schedule may be easy, and are a simple matter of focussing your will. But real self improvement, the type that shapes your character, your being, your soul, that is a whole different ball game altogether.
I'm talking about self improvement not in its generic convention of usage, but in terms of character development.Things like adopting a new belief system, choosing a new job you love over a more lucrative one that you don't love, doing things you love even if people don't think it's "cool". I'm talking about making paradigm shifting improvements to your life and lifestyle that YOU KNOW will make you happier.
Improvements to your life, like these, go beyond just the personal domain and have an effect on the world around you. Peoples attitudes, reactions and behaviour towards you changes. And most often than not, it's this sudden change in the people around you that makes Real self improvement so scary.
Someone once said that no man is an island and that we all are dependent on each other for support. So it's only natural that we'd built a network of support people around us who would provide the benefit of comfort that one gets from social interactions. The social structure is not restricted to comfort but in any case it provides some sort of need fulfillment within our complex psychological desire structure.
Real self improvment is scary because with our "internal change" will also come a change in the "reactions of other people" and when we think about how our social relationship with other people will change, it's usually something we are not very comfortable dealing with. It's the "what will others think of me","they'll call me a wannabee","they'll think i'm a fake","will they think i'm selfish for doing what i love?" These kinds of thoughts arise in our mind and we begin to doubt the effectiveness of the change even before we implement it. Not just that, but by worrying about others reactions, we tend to strengthen our own beliefs of our weaknessess , no matter how farce they are. Whats needed is for us to become more open minded and less judgmental. and I say "us" and not "others" because a lot of the time we project our own thoughts and behaviors on to other people.
That is to say that if we ourselves are the kind of person who judges (negatively, i presume) others for trying to make some "real self improvement" into their life, then we in turn will also be hounded by worries of others thinking of us in that same sense if we were to ever make some " real self improvement" in our livers.
For example; you see someone wearing shades in the cinema and think of them as an idiot. The next time you get the sudden urge to try and be "cool" and consider wearing shades into the cinema, you're gonna keep thinking of yourself as an idiot and get uncomfortable. Similarly, if you don't have any judgments about people belching in public , then you wouldn't have any trouble doing it yourself.
So what it really comes down to is that we have to become more open minded towards ourselves and others and then we can truly get over the feeling that real self improvement is scary. When in fact it's actually the most inspirational, motivating and productive thing you could ever do.