Some problems are made to be ignored, for one cannot take into his mind things on which he cannot have influence. By those which he can, he should solve. And move on. But if he a problem about he can do something and instead he only thinks and thinks about the consequences, and not the solutions, he will be a worried man. He will run in endless loops. He will start to live with anxiety.
We worry about many things. They can be separated as those:
- in the past
- in the present
- in the future
For if something has happened, and we feel embarrassed and remind ourselves about that, we are only blocking our mind for the problems we have today. What happened in the past, should stay in the past. We need to make sure we learn from the mistakes, and that is all. Mistakes make every man grow. The more he makes them, the bigger he gets. So be happy about mistakes! The most important thing is that you have realized that and that you are going to do something about it. And leave it in the past.
If something is happening now, and we can do something about it, it should be written. Write down what bothers you. For when it is written, man commits himself to solve it. He puts his sign on it. Once the problem is defined on the paper, go into action! See what you can do about it, make several solutions and go into action with the most promising one. If it fails, try another one. Keep trying until you solve it. But do not keep it in your head. By working with full power of mind, man forgets what he is worrying about. It blocks his anxious mind. It makes him feel good. Work yourself to exhaustion, do not allow the bugs to bite you when you are alone.
There is something about the future that bothers all of us. The uncertainty. Human beings value safety more than anything. If something is uncertan, it cannot be safe. What can be done is to make a plan. Every man should have one. That is how he takes his life in his hands and decides where he wants to go and do what he wants to dedicate himself. It is the meaning of freedom. Review the plan, update the goals. All of this would not make much sense if we are not to use the today the best we can. So make sure that each day is like a brick which is positioned as best as it can be done. For you are building the bridge. The bridge to where you want to go. Do not try to pass those bridges while you are building them! For you will only fall down. And be anxious.
How fast we forget what we have and instead think what we do not have. How fast we forget to be happy about our health, our parents, our wives, husbands, children,... For all we think what we want. Look around yourself and you will find what is keeping you alive. You will find the people who share with you space and time each day. Be grateful to them and love them. And always try to help people in need. For you will see how much you have.
Worse thing than not realizing what you have is to be envious of what other people have or what they have done. It is the purest waste of time and nerves. One can try to study great peoples lives in order to avoid mistakes and to learn from them. But not to be envious on them. For everybody are different. Nobody is or will be in your shoues. What will man make of his life depends only on him and nobody else.
The last truth is in the little people. In children. They do not know for worry. They can cry about something, but will not be anxious. They will either try to get it or forget about it. And play. For the biggest difference between grown ups and children is the neglect of playfulness. They take everything too seriously and that makes serious consequences. By playing, man will allow himself to make a mistake. And enjoy in the process of making it. But the process itself will be creative.
The goal of every worrying man is to make the best of each day by locking out the past and future. Live only in today. Take the future in your hands by working hard and smart today. What you do makes you feel as you feel. And what you think, so shall you be.
Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems. - Epictetus