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How to Forgive Yourself

Updated on February 1, 2018
donotfear profile image

Annette Sharp holds a BAAS in Behavioral Science from Texas A&M. She is a counselor and motivator with an empathetic heart.


Do You Know How To Forgive Yourself?

Regardless of what everyone else says, forgiving is difficult and most people struggle with forgiveness. The idea that humanity should just "get over it" at the blink of an eye is not normal. It doesn't happen that way for most folks. You aren't wired to push a forgiveness button on and off when you wish. It takes practice and a willingness to see yourself as a mortal in the flesh of a human body with earthly senses.

What you feel inside with your God-given chemical makeup and emotions can define who you are, both negatively and undoubtedly. You hold human emotions and responses that you were born with.

How can you learn to release the pain and stop it from consuming your life and defining who you are?

How To Stop The Pain And Release It

Look deep within yourself and find the dark place where all those gray emotions hide. Sadness, regret and resentfulness will bloom into a black cloud of hate with a storm of depression unless you find the source and identify the feelings. Define your emotions; see them, feel them, be with your Creator.......

Emotions are God-given and meant to be experienced. Give them to Him whether you actually feel it inside or not. Say the forgiving words out loud. This will lead to healing.

Recovery doesn't always happen immediately. Each individual has their own built-in mechanism for wellness. There is no set time frame assigned for how long it takes a person to heal. We're all unique.

Ten Questions to Ask Before Learning to Forgive Yourself

  1. What is sorrow? Mental suffering caused by loss or disappointment .
  2. What is guilt? The fact of being responsible for a wrongdoing.
  3. What is accountability? The fact of being responsible or answering for that wrongdoing.
  4. What is regret? A sense of loss or expression of grief; feeling of sorrow.
  5. What is sadness? Low spirits or dejection .
  6. What is longing? A strong desire of yearning for something; sensing a loss .
  7. What is disappointment? The failure to satisfy the hopes and expectations of something.
  8. What is care? To feel concern; to look after or provide; to feel love or a liking.
  9. What is yearning? To be deeply moved with tenderness.
  10. What is forgiveness? To give up resentment against; to give up the desire to punish; to pardon .

What Happens When You Combine the Elements of Forgiveness?

Peace. Happiness. Serenity. Sensitivity.

Liberation and Freedom!!!!

Welcome it.....

Touch it, feel it.......hold it close.

Mental Suffering Causes Self-Defeat

Mental suffering caused by loss or disappointment can lead to sadness. If you're responsible for a wrongdoing, you must realize you're accountable and responsible for the violation. When you regret an action, you may feel an expression of grief or sorrow.

If you aren't responsible for a misdeed, yet have been accused, allow yourself to oppose the allegation introspectively and deliver your opposition with dignity.

With a sense of yearning, you can become deeply moved with tenderness to give up your resentment and the desire to punish. To make amends, you may ask forgiveness and forgive yourself in the process.

This is healing. This is recovery.

Can You Forgive Yourself?

Remember: What you feel inside with your God-given chemical makeup and emotions can define who you are. You hold human emotions and responses that you were born with.

You have a choice to hold or release. Now it's time to begin again.

Take a deep breath.....feel it.....experience it.....and forgive.


Experience Forgiveness......


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    • profile image


      12 months ago

      I didn't know that have mental issues can cause to self defeat this was so helpful

    • rutley profile image


      8 years ago from South Jersey

      Very, very good! See what you think about my hub "Is it human nature to do this?" It may relate in some way.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Thank you, Myrtle.

    • myrtle McKinley profile image

      myrtle McKinley 

      8 years ago

      What a great piece on defining emotions. Forgiveness and accepting another's harshness is so hard for me. You were an inspiration. Check out my piece on how I am trying to cope with a troublesome in-law.

      "In-law Musings" I would welcome your comments.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Rafini: I pray you were enlightened. Thank you.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      It's primarily these definitions that cause me to get into arguments with people over the meaning of the human vocabularies. Or, projecting guilt on someone when there's no guilt to be had....

      Thanks for the reminder. :D

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Mystique1957: thank you very much.

    • Mystique1957 profile image


      9 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

      Wondrous! Succinct and powerful! Be blessed, dear friend!

      Thumbs up!

      Warmest regards and infinite eternal blessings,


    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      I need to be liberated today.....thanks for the comments.

    • jxb7076 profile image

      James Brown 

      9 years ago from United States of America

      This has got to be the shortest, most informative yet eloborative hub I've read. Thanks for sharing.

    • J.J. Beach profile image

      J.J. Beach 

      9 years ago

      Liberation - something I long for. Freedom!

    • zzron profile image


      9 years ago from Houston, TX.

      This was very nice, thank you :)

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Thanks for all the encouraging comments. I'm so glad I touched others with this release. It's very healing to me at this time.

      By the way, the painting is not my own. I did NOT paint it, I found it somewhere in cyber space. Liked it so much I printed it on photo paper & put it on the wall!

    • myhomebusiness profile image


      9 years ago from Wells, NV

      Your hub gives one time to reflect. We all go through each of these emotions more than we would probably like to think. The one thing that I feel is the essence of the hub is the beauty each of us will find when "liberating" ourselves.

    • jiberish profile image


      9 years ago from florida

      Interesting Hub, great painting! Good job!

    • Storytellersrus profile image


      9 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Is this painting an original? It is amazing.

    • Money Glitch profile image

      Money Glitch 

      9 years ago from Texas

      Nice hub donotfear! A great little reminder for those days when life seems "gray" and words need to be defined. Thanks for sharing!

    • h2oforthegaslit profile image


      9 years ago from Birmingham, Alabama

      Excellent, excellent, excellent!

    • H P Roychoudhury profile image

      H P Roychoudhury 

      9 years ago from Guwahati, India

      It is a nice way to express the emotions. I liked it. Thanks for sharing of your ideas of emotions.

    • profile image

      Sarah H 

      9 years ago

      This is very touching and real.

    • breakfastpop profile image


      9 years ago

      Very sensitive and interesting hub. Thank you.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Veronica, I can truly say that forgiving one's self is most difficult in some instances. I'm glad I've been releasing some of these thoughts here. It not only can serve as healing in my own life, but healing for others. Thanks!

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      I think forgiveness is probably the hardest emotion to release - at least it is for me. Especially do I find this so, when someone has deeply wronged or hurt me. I really enjoyed this hub, it made me stop and think.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      9 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Thank you Timothy! Wow, I had no idea I'd get a response like this. But I was trying to put in ACTION a release from some THOUHGTS & FEELINGS in an attempt to turn into a positive. Forgiveness is the hardest of all, I agree. Letting go of resentments...dear Jesus, where do we begin to fathom the importance of this? But we, mere humans, do not hold the key to this door. Only Christ can release the charity, together with longing, caring, and yearning to obtain forgiveness. Thank you dear friend!

    • Timothy Donnelly profile image

      Timothy Donnelly 

      9 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      What a great tiny Hub! I am glad that I am your fan so that I will not miss something like this. What struck me most is: What is forgiveness? To give up resentment against; to give up the desire to punish; to pardon. I believe this definition explains the charge well, as long as one adopts ALL THREE of its parts. While the first part of the definition you provide is most difficult (for me), it alludes nicely to the LORD’s promise that when He forgives, He also remembers the particular transgression no more. Heb. 8: 12 “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.”

      donotfear, when we relate this (dismissing/forgetting) to the business of working with the mentally unwell, it may be more difficult to impress upon your associates, and especially (I think) those that hold the purse-strings, wouldn’t you agree? Personal management of one’s relationship(s) with those who repeatedly display emotional flamboyancy, of the sort which is frowned upon, requires a firm grasp on things such as the definitions which you provide. Thank you for sharing these sagacious truisms, which unfortunately are often overlooked when we laypeople see them as merely basic, or just elementary.

    • Madison22 profile image


      9 years ago from NYC

      Thank you donotfear, for breaking down and explicitly explaining each of these different emotions:)

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      9 years ago from London, UK

      Thank you for an interesting read.


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