Suicide Prevention Day 2013
Today, 10 September 2013, is Suicide Prevention Day. I recently wrote a meaningful status on Facebook about it and people's responses baffled me.
This is what I wrote:
"Here's to the people who have committed suicide or have lost someone to it. Through this rough road in life, we need to feel loved and cared for. Know that there are people supporting you and care about you deeply. Here's to Summer, here's to Karma, here's to Ashley, here's to Thomas. I lost these four people last year March and though I was not very close with them, they meant a lot to me. For they taught me true friendship, compassion, and how to cherish the people around you. Sadly, the world was too rough for too long. I know their memories and spirit roams across the earth now, shedding hope and encouraging people to keep going. Their light has gone out, but they will forever glow in my heart and in the heart of those they have touched."
Nobody cared. Nobody cared what today is, nobody cared that I am trying my best to make others realize they're cared for, and nobody cared about suicide prevention. What grinds my gears even more is the fact when I post a joke that is not even funny, people pay attention and root me for it. How can people be so rude and ignorant? Yes, we have all heard: "ignorance is bliss," but sometimes ignorance is not a bliss at all. Sometimes, it makes things bite you from behind a lot harder than it could have been.
Today at school, we were talking about famous suicide victims. We talked about how the person feels uncared for and unloved, but after he or she dies, people clamour about how amazing and special that person was. When we are suicidal, we do not see much sometimes. We see ourselves in a dark tunnel and we think the cave is tight and has no opening, even though we are in a large cave with a bright light a the very end of it. We tend to forget the people who care about us and the people who love us.
"There are people who care. There are people who love you. You are unique and important." is something I hope everyone realizes and remembers. Recognizing and remembering this is one of the key things to survive. Sometimes I feels uncared for even though I know my family and friends do. It's something everybody goes through. All that's left is to do is push that thought away and replace them with positive thoughts.
Have you ever considered leaving this life?
Many people I talk to get surprised I care. For most of them, I have never talked to them until I noticed they were in distress. I notice them crying or posting a tweet or status about needing someone and I try to comfort them. A lot of them ask me why I bothered to talk to them or help them when we never talk to each other. I tell them that I care. I'm not lying or exaggerating. I truly do care.
Sometimes the people I try to help are those who are mean to me. I have comforted those who made me feel useless and worthless, and I still do not need to lie when I say I care about them. I think everyone needs to see that they are cared for and everyone needs to care for others. If I care for those who treat me like garbage, not because I expect them to stop being mean, but solely for the fact they need comfort and every living being deserves comfort. What kind of a world would we live in if everyone despised one another and never helped each other out? It would be complete and utter chaos. The world would be a defiled space that no one can call home.
A child cannot fully develop properly with parental touch. What does this prove to you? To me it proves that love and positive connections are a huge part of life and is essential for humans to survive. Love is something we are designed to have. Love is ecstasy at its finest. Love is the wonderful emotion, so strong, that words cannot begin to explain the ecstatic emotion. It is what motivates us, strengthens us, and connects us into one.
Without the feeling of love, we tend to be wrapped up in a blanket of hopelessness, darkness, pain, and desperation. It weakens our minds and makes us more prone to getting hurt. Love is a huge part in preventing suicide. Knowing you are loved might not seem important, but it is a huge aspect of your life, as well as everyone else.
I cannot imagine going through life without love. It would be so lonely and miserable. It would be pain I cannot endure. Tell someone you love them and you can see the way that person lights up. You can see a sudden change. Sometimes it isn't obvious, I agree, but it always seems to be there.
Have you lost anyone?
Has anyone who is reading this lost someone from suicide? How did you react to it? If you haven't, I assume you know the pain that is spread out towards everyone who loves and cares for the person they lost. I started off numb. I realized what had happened but I just refused to accept it. I couldn't feel any pain, but I couldn't feel any spark of emotion. I was confused in my clear, clouded information.
Eventually, it felt like my heart broke in half. Someone that was once there is suddenly gone. What sucks the most is you start blaming yourself, even when you have done the best you could and have extended that person's life. You feel like a failure and sometimes you wish it was you instead. You feel tiny and helpless in this large world.
I wonder about the bullies. I wonder if they feel guilty or responsible. I wonder if they even realize it is their fault. The tiniest actions can make a large impact. A little nickname, or a little smile, they go a long way. I wonder if the bullies are or were aware of the victim's other troubles. I question their intentions and wonder how this drastic event has effected them.
Have you ever had someone force themselves into eternal sleep?
How to talk to a suicidal person
First things first, do not freak out. I know this can be tough when the person is close to you, but freaking out and panicking will not do you any good. It might even cause more damage. The stress could end up building up even more. The person will likely feel guilty for making you feel this way and think the world would be better off without him or her.
Like I said earlier, feeling cared for and loved is a big part of surviving through life. Ensure the person that you care and so do many others. Be the reminder that there are people who love the person dearly. Work hard to prove it. Tell stories about any good memories you guys have had. Better yet, get the person to think about the future fun times you guys could have together.
Give hope. Tell the person to imagine the future. Describe how beautiful it could be. Things might be gloomy and cloudy at the moment, but it will clear up at some point. Yes, after it clears up, it will get dark again. However, is that not the weather? It gets dark and bright all the time. Temperature and humidity changes each day. Some days are better than another.
© 2013 Dancia Susilo