- Death & Loss of Life
SUICIDE AT ANY AGE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!
Suicide is a permanent end to a fixable problem! You can’t take it back, it won’t make things better, you hurt the innocent people you love and love you back. You may think that there is no way out. You may feel alone and feel that no one will understand or could possibly feel what you are going through. You might feel like you have nothing to live for or that your life is not valued. But, you are wrong! Look at the countless websites, Call Centers and Suicide Groups available at no cost to you. Do you really think you’re the only person on earth that thought about taking your life? You’re wrong, there are millions of people your age, younger and older who have thought the exact same thoughts you are thinking right now and lived to help someone just like you get through it…. YOU ARE WORTH LIVING FOR!
You are Valued and Loved!
You are wrong to think you are not loved, because YOU ARE! You are wrong to think that taking your life is an answer, because IT IS NOT! You are wrong for selling your soul to death because you can’t see the answers right now, because THEY ARE THERE! You are wrong if you think that the pain you inflict on people by forcing them to see you in death, is going to somehow punish them for life, because it’s not.
Don’t you get it yet? The answer of death as an option is not an answer at all. It is just a big vicious circle that leads to NOWHERE!? The only thing it ends is you! You stop, but the world, well it still goes on. You may go away, but the people you leave behind, they will not be happier for it. They will be sad. They will be hurt and they will be filled with grief. But, they will go on. Because that is what life does, it goes on with or without you. Ask yourself this question, do you want to be a survivor or a distant memory?
Survivors win they are the ones who really show people. A memory fades over time and it makes it as if you were never here. You are here, you’re life means something. Taking it away doesn’t show anyone anything other than the fact that you had no coping skills. They pity you and feel sorry for you. They stand at your casket crying and say things like “oh how tragic, what a shame, he/she had such a bright future ahead of them, too bad they will never see that now.” Do you know how many people have stood at someone’s casket and said that exact statement? Try almost every person who ever visited a casket of someone who killed themselves. I can give you a play by play of your funeral. Because they are all the same, you think you were alone in life, but there was standing room only at your funeral. You think you have no friends, but they are there grieving at your casket and asking why? Why didn’t they just come to me, I was here? You think no one loves you, but your family the ones you left behind are there grieving, watching an receiving an out pouring of love and compassion from all of those people you swore didn’t care. They are putting roses on your casket and shaking their heads in pity as they walk away. Pity, is that really what you want? Is that really going to change things? Here is the cold hard irony of it all… Now instead of being someone you feel isn’t worthy, isn’t loved, isn’t valued, you will never see how much you were loved, how many people cared, and how many people saw the one thing you didn’t, that your life was worth something, that you had a future!
Now, the irony is that all they see are a poor, pitiful, lifeless body who couldn’t cope with life. That is one hell of a memory you are leaving behind, yep, that’s the way I would want to go, doesn’t it sound grand? Poor pitiful you, no doubt you showed them, you made them cry, but the truth is, they walked away from a lifeless body that use to be you. Get the picture? They walked away, and you, well you are either going to be turned into ashes and put in an urn or buried in the ground under mounds of dirt. You will be remembered, but it will become a distant memory of a sad person who just couldn’t deal with life. I know that sounds so cold, so heartless, but it’s not. It’s the truth and if I didn’t care enough about people just like you, I wouldn’t be sitting here at my keyboard trying to make you see that YOU HAVE OPTIONS and DEATH IS NOT ONE OF THEM! Because YOU DESERVE BETTER and THERE IS A BETTER WAY TO GET BACK AT THE WORLD, IT’S CALLED WINNING and BEING A SURVIVOR!!!
Never take for granted the finality of what your thoughts are telling you. Do you really know where you are going if you end it? Really, do you know the destination? I don’t think anyone does. If you look in the bible, well the outcome is not in your favor. But, then there are those that will tell you that God forgives all. He may, but do you want to chance it? Wouldn’t you rather be a survivor? Wouldn’t you rather win and move on with a promising life? Don’t you deserve a chance? Don’t you deserve happiness? Because the answer to those questions are YES! YES YOU DO!! YOU DESERVE to LIVE, to MAKE a DIFFERENCE, YOU DESERVE TO WIN AND OVERCOME… You can’t do that if you give up and end your life. You can’t make that one choice that will change everything in your life if you take it right now or tomorrow or next week.
I PROMISE, THERE IS A BETTER PLACE, A BETTER LIFE and IT IS HERE, ON EARTH.
YOU DON’T SEE IT RIGHT NOW. BUT YOU WILL. GIVE YOURSELF TIME, YOU OWE YOURSELF THAT MUCH. YOU NEED TO BE HERE WITH THOSE PEOPLE THAT DO CARE FOR YOU AND LOVE YOU, BUT YOU ARE TO DEPRESSED AND ANGRY TO SEE RIGHT NOW… TAKE OFF THE BLINDERS, PUSH PAST THE TEARS AND LISTEN TO WHAT IS BEING SAID… YOU HAVE A GREATER PURPOSE ON EARTH... YOU ARE DESTINED FOR A BIGGER AND BETTER LIFE THAN THIS VERY MOMENT. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SOMEONE, YOU ARE LOVED BY SOMEONE AND YOUR LIFE IS CHERISHED BY SOMEONE!!! YOU HAVE OPTIONS, IT IS NOT THE END. TODAY IS JUST THE BEGINNING!
Getting on the same page...
So now that we both know that you are hurting, and you need some answers, let’s find them together and see what we come up with. Let’s start with your resources. Right now you don’t think you have any. But, I am going to point them out to you because you are too angry and to hurt to see them right now.
RESOURCE # 1: YOU NEED TO G.A.P. - You need to Get A Partner! You are angry, you are hurt and you are not making really great choices right now. GAP with someone so that you are not the only making decisions right now about your life, it’s important that you tell someone right now what you are feeling. Once you do, you will start to see that there is a tomorrow and a next day, next week, next month and next year. Each step of the way, your partner will be there to pull you through it. The best thing about your partner is that they don’t judge you. They don’t want to hurt you, they only want to help you and whatever you tell them will be between the two of you. So who can you partner with? I am going to give you a list of the ones you should have tried, but if you feel that they are not going to understand then the best partner you can get is someone who has been right where you are today. So if you have you don’t think you can talk to:
Parents, brothers, sisters, friends, other family, school teachers, counselors, ministers, neighbors or doctors; then you need to partner with someone who knows everything about where you are at this very second. That would be a SURVIVOR… How do you get in touch with one? I’m glad you asked! It’s so easy. Just call one of the numbers I am listing below:
803-790-HELP (4357) - This number is in the Columbia, Lexington, Richland, Kershaw and Sumter Counties. The Crisis line is anonymous, so you don’t have to tell them where you live, who you are or a phone number. They will ask you for your first name. Tell them as much or as little as you want to. BUT TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!
1-800-852-8336 – This is the National Teen Hot Line Number. Everything from above still goes. Tell them as much or as little. BUT TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!
1-888-NO-BULLY South Carolina School Violence hotline
This is your chance!
You still have a chance, but there are a lot of people your age, younger and older that took their life and ended it never truly realizing that there are so many different reasons that you get to this point in your life. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you that cannot be fixed by telling someone and letting them show you where the true light of life is.
There is also another explanation for what you are feeling and it may surprise you to know that the majority of society goes through this in one form or another in their life. Including almost every person you have ever loved, or befriended. It’s just that common. But, left untreated, it can be life altering or life threatening. It is a clinical or medical reason why you are feeling what you are feeling right now. It’s called depression. There are several forms of depression, from mild, moderate to severe which is often diagnosed as manic depressive or by-polar disorder.
What does all of this mean? It means that what you are experiencing may be a medical condition. One that causes a chemical imbalance in your brain; It does not mean you are crazy! It means that your serotonin levels or hormone levels may be off. It is completely fixable with medication. But, left untreated, it can make you see and feel things that really are not as harsh as they seem. It can cause you to think and feel a lot of things. Listed below are some signs of depression. If you feel these things, then you need to get medical help. No, they will not lock you in a padded room. They will not judge you. I know. I have been on medication for almost 20 years. I didn’t try or think about committing suicide. But, I can tell you that I was having coping problems with anger and I didn’t like to be around people, I didn’t feel good about myself or where I was in my life. I had a serotonin chemical problem in my brain. The medicine that they put me on increased the amount of serotonin in my body and it fixed the balance problem that I was having. I was not crazy; I just needed a medication to help me balance things. It does not alter my state of mind. It does not make me a zombie. What it does for me is allows me those few extra seconds or minutes to process my feelings before I speak or say something that may hurt someone else feelings or I might react a wrong way. It’s actually just that simple of a fix.
Where you are thinking about going right now is total darkness with no answers, no solutions, and no coming back from. It’s not peace that you are going toward, it’s finality. It’s a means to an end of laughing, smiling, growing old, having your own car, your own home, truly falling in love, getting married, stating a family or going on that adventure or journey that your life is destined to do.
But you need to recognize what is happening to you so that you can move past it and on towards the promising life that is waiting for you. So, if you are not just in a dark place and need a partner to help you through it, then you may need to consider that it could be medical. So, here are the signs that you need to look at to see if you may need to seek medical attention from a family doctor. No, you don’t always have to see a psychologist (ok or shrink). It may be as simple as going to your family doctor, telling him what you are feeling, letting him run a couple of test and then putting you on the right medicine. So, here are some of the most common signs of depression.
Put a check by the ones that you are experiencing. If you have more than 2 of these, you need to go have a checkup with your doctor so you can both decide what is your best course of action, I know, it’s really just that easy!!!
- you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
- you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
- you feel hopeless and helpless
- you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
- you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
- you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
- you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)
Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression.
More detailed common signs and symptoms of Depression
- Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
- Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
- Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
- Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
- Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, restless, or on edge. Your tolerance level is low; everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
- Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
- Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
- Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
- Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
For family, friends, teachers, counselors, and others who have witnessed someone with these symptoms:
Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. That is not the answer. But, treatment for this is! Your thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help.
Warning signs of suicide include:
- Talking about killing or harming one’s self
- Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped
- An unusual preoccupation with death or dying
- Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights)
- Calling or visiting people to say goodbye
- Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends)
- Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out.”
- A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy.
If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life.
If You Are Feeling Suicidal...
CALL l 1-800-273-TALK now!
Related links for coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings
Crisis lines and help
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Suicide prevention telephone hotline funded by the U.S. government. Provides free, 24-hour assistance. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
National Hopeline Network - Toll-free telephone number offering 24-hour suicide crisis support. 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
State Prevention Programs – Browse through a database of suicide prevention programs, organized by state. (National Strategy for Suicide Prevention)
Befrienders Worldwide – International suicide prevention organization connects people to crisis hotlines in their country.
Stop A Suicide, Today – Includes a self-assessment questionnaire, tips for friends, sections for professionals and survivors, and links to other resources. (StopaSuicide.org)
Some resources used from (helpguide.org)