- Quality of Life & Wellness
How to save time for yourself, make a not-to-do-list!
Do you find yourself chasing around all day long, trying to do all those things you think you should or must do? And when the hour of the day has ended you fall unconscious to sleep, just to wake up the next day and you are at it again? Then you should think of doing a not-to-do-list which will save you time and energy!
We are often told to organize our life by creating a “to-do-list”. By doing this list you are supposed to be more efficient and all those things you now postpone will be done with dash!? No, I didn’t think so, because that kind of list only makes you focus on those things you still could not do even though you’ve been at it all day. Since we want to do our best, and our life style gives us limited free time we often put too much on such a list which makes it impossible. And since humans tend to focus on the bad things, we do not see those things on the list that we actually have done and for which we should have applauds. Instead we only see those things on the list that we didn’t do, which makes us feel useless and not good enough!
Now I have grown tired of trying to be “efficient, good and perfect”! And what is that any way? To be a perfectionist is more like having a mental disorder, and become too focused on performance directed against either our surroundings or our self. Think about it; who are we efficient, good and perfect for?
I find myself running trough life, trying to do so much different things in a limited time. There are only 24 hours in a day, and I only have one life! I have known for years that I can’t possibly do all the things that I do, and yet I try to do it! And I even do it with a stiff smile because I belief in positive thinking. And yet there are so many more things that I should do or want to do! But now I have come to the conclusion that I am efficient, good and perfect mostly for others sake, not for myself. And instead of having a guilty conscience for the things I don’t have time to do, I’ll stop spending time and energy on some things that I choose not to do anymore. I will do a not-to-do-list!
Here is my Not-do-do-list!
Your list will maybe look totally different, be longer or shorter!
1. Stop asking people “How are you”!
This is a perfect and polite way of starting a conversation with people I meet, and I will continue to do it when I feel like it and with some people. But I will stop asking people this question when I already know the answer! There are too many people who never can say a positive word, and just goes on about their own trouble and diseases. And when that is done and trough with, they continue with their friend’s diseases or their pets diseases. Those people are energy consuming, and I have had enough of that.
I will minimize the time I spend on ironing clothes. This takes too much of my time! If the clothes need ironing, then I don’t want to keep them! Out they go! I will save some of my husbands shirt though, because I enjoy to see him dressed in a shirt!
3. Arrange parties for people I don’t like!
I will stop invite and spend time with people I don’t like just because my husband is friend with one in a couple! If your spouse wants to spend some time with a friend doesn’t automatically mean that you want to spend time with the friend’s spouse!
4. Always help out when somebody ask me to!
My family has become accustomed to expect help from me whenever they need. It can be small things, like fetching something to them, or bigger things. I will continue to help people and my family, but I will also say no when I don’t want do to the things they ask of me, or if I don’t have the time!
5. Mindlessly channel surfing in the evenings
What a waste of time! Those evenings I found myself doing this, I am too tired to do anything useful or something that I enjoy doing. So from now on, I will turn the TV off and go to bed instead of channel surfing!
6. Buy a dog
I do love dogs and I terrible miss having a dog in the house! Every time I see a dog I just stare at them and a silly smile spreads over my face. And if I have the opportunity to “talk” with a dog I am in heaven for a moment. But, facts stand, I work full time which means that if we had a dog that poor dog would have to be alone for about ten hours a day or stay at someone else’s house during the days. And my evenings are full booked already, so who would have the time to walk or train the dog? Now, I will save myself a constant bad conscience and also prevent a dog from a life in boredom. To buy a dog will have to wait until I have time to care for a dog the way they deserve!
7. Fix the computers
Is there anything more time consuming than to maintain computers? We have four computers in the house, and there is always something wrong with some of them. I don’t mean that I mend them, but they need constant maintenance anyway. And I don’t enjoy fix them. I think it is a waste with precious time. But someone has to do it, and my husband says he can’t, so up until now this has been my problem. But now I found a firm that will come to our house and maintain the computers! Brilliant!
8. Always try to manage by myself!
I will force myself to ask for help from friends and family even though it is hard for me. I am use to manage on my one and also use to do things “my way”.
9. Accept doing too much unpaid volunteer mission!
Since my daughter plays soccer it is expected that also we as parents automatically volunteers to different missions! It can be everything from selling cookies, socks, T-shirts or help out driving the team, attend matches and even stay the night when they play at a distance from home etc. Some of the parents have bought mobile homes and accompany the team. My husband and I will not participate in everything that we are expected to do. I enjoy spending time with my daughter and I find it exiting to watch her play soccer but I do not enjoy or have the time to socialize with the other parents for several days.
10. Hanging out with “friends” who are taking my energy!
Being friend’s means that you have fun in each other’s company and that you provide help when needed, support and encourage each other. But there must be a two-way communication. Both have to get something in return from the intercourse. I will stop seeing those friends who just take my energy year after year. After a meeting with a friend like that I feel sad and empty inside.
11. Eat too much!
I love good food and occasionally I eat too much. But if I do, I must spend more time with fitness training and I only have one hour a day for that activity!
12. Doing more than what is expected of me at work!
I like my work and I am also a big time optimist which means that I often find my self to be behind schedule. Trying to constantly catch up is stressful and affects my energy at home!
13. Do what is expected of me!
I have done a bit of work in order to stop this behaviour and I have come a long way, but there are still things I do just because it is expected of me!
14. Have the home spotlessly clean!
I like it when our home is clean and tidy. I will try to cut down on my own expectations!
15. Attend parties I don’t want to attend!
Those parties are the one that is organized by my workplace. Many people seem to think that a workplace will be better if we socialize in our free time too. I think it is more than enough with 8 hours a day 5 days a week at work. The time that is left I want to spend with my family and friends!
- Are you living as you are - or are you living the life that is expected of you?
Some of us isnt living the way we are, but instead we are playing roles and live as it is expected of us. This does no good for anyone, but instead could give rise to boredom and unhappiness.