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Scattering a loved ones ashes

Updated on April 8, 2012

"Dedicated to the most beautiful mother and best friend in the world...life is lonely without you mom".

Rosella Corbett, a loved wife, mother and grandmother. At peace scattered at Fistral Beach, Newquay, Cornwall uk.

1944-2010

The scattering of your loved ones ashes is a difficult time, choosing the right location, fulfilling wishes and making sure everything goes well.

But always remembering this is a time to put your loved one to peace, allowing them to be a free spirit, thus having a feeling of content. Remembering memories and the life you shared together.

Below are a few possibilities (options) that may help the scattering of ashes, be a beautiful and peaceful day/moment.

When scattering ashes in the sea, try to find shallow water or a rock pool close to the sea, lowering the urn into the water gently. Scattering ashes over the cliff sometimes can end disastrously, with weather conditions being unpredictable.


I hope all the info that you see below, will help you to make any decisions much easier, saying goodbye is difficult and heartbreaking, but i know that i felt so content after scattering my mothers ashes, but found it stressful trying to organise everything, trying to make it special for her, and to for fill her wishes. Please feel free to ask any questions or you may just want to share the loss of your loved one.

White & Pink Rose -I love you still and always will
White & Pink Rose -I love you still and always will

Choosing Flowers

This could be your loved ones favorite flowers/colours or choose a flower for its meaning which would best describe thoughts/feelings or best descibe who they were. Below are flowers and there meaning.

  • Abor Vitae: True Friendship
  • Camellia, red: You're a flame in my heart
  • Hyacinth, purple: I am sorry, Please forgive me, Sorrow
  • Hyacinth, white: Loveliness, I will pray for you
  • Larkspur: Open Heart
  • Lilac, Mauve: "Do You Still Love Me"
  • Oleander: Beauty and Grace
  • Periwinkle, White: Pleasures of Memory
  • Phlox: Sweet Dreams
  • Rose, Dark Pink: Thank you
  • Rose, Pink & White: I love you still and always will
  • Salvia, Blue: "I Think of You"
  • Statice: Lasting Beauty
  • Stock: Bonds of affection, You will always be beautiful to me
  • Thrift: Sympathy
  • Zinnia: Thoughts of Absent Friends

If you choose roses or other large petal flowers, after scattering ashes scatter the petals on the water, and maybe just one main flower,or a bunch of flowers. But always making sure they are a natural product rather than synthetic. You could depetal your own flowers or buy freeze dried petals which i think are a bit more expensive, always making sure you keep them in the fridge until the day of your journey.


Floating petals on water.
Floating petals on water.

Poems to read while scattering ashes:-

Funeral poems

She is gone

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she’s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


By David Harkins


Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.

Henry Scott Holland

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.

Anon, 20th century

Miss Me, But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free!
Miss me a little, but not for long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love we once shared,
Miss me, but let me go!
For this a journey we all must take,
And each must go alone;
It's all a part of the master's plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me, but let me go.

Robyn Rancman

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me, and I am not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,
I know how much you love me as much as I love you,
And each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That Jesus came and called my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place is ready in heaven far above,
And that I have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away a tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I'd always thought it wasn't my time to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,
It seems almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could have stayed for just a little while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realise that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gate and felt so much at home,
As God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne.
He said "This is eternity, And all I've promised you,
Today your life on earth is past, but here it starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow but today will always last,
And since each day's the same here there's no longing for the past."
So when tomorrow starts without me don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me I'm right here in your heart.

Anon


Scattering ashes at sunset
Scattering ashes at sunset

Time of day.

The best time of the day to scatter your loved ones ashes would be the quietest time off day, either sunrise or sunset, helping it make the day both peaceful & beautiful.





Candles

Creating the right atmosphere is crucial for making this a special goodbye, placing tea lights, oil burners or better still LED Tea Lights, around the area where your scattering their ashes, at sunset would be a lovely send off to your loved one.


Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Music

Choose the perfect song, a funeral song to remember someone you love? A fitting tune to say goodbye?:-

  • Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
  • Amazing Grace - Various Artists
  • Angel - Sarah McLachlan
  • Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
  • What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
  • Unforgettable - Nat King Cole
  • Never Tear Us Apart - INXS
  • Amazing - Alex Lloyd
  • Memory - Barbra Streisand
  • The Rose - Bette Midler
  • Lean On Me - Bill Withers
  • Forever Young - Bob Dylan
  • The Prayer - Celine Dion
  • Candle in the Wind - Elton John
  • I'll Remember you - Elvis Presley
  • The wonder off you - elvis Presley
  • Goodbye my Lover - James Blunt
  • We’ll Meet Again - Vera Lynn
  • The Lord’s My Shepherd - Various Artists
  • You'll Never Walk Alone - Gerry and the Pacemakers
  • Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Guns N'Roses
  • Imagine - John Lennon
  • My Way - Frank Sinatra
  • Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
  • Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens
  • Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven
  • Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd


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    • profile image

      Krystal Barnsley 

      6 years ago

      I too have lost my mum and am getting ready to say our final goodbye and it have been an absolute blessing that I found your website! Thank you so much for such a simple yet inspiring collection of information. This makes obe of the hardest days that much easier. Xo

    • profile image

      joan oldham 

      6 years ago

      Has helped me tremendously, with the beautiful poetry and ides. Thank you

    • profile image

      Capt. Phil Bentivegna 

      6 years ago

      The information and poetry would be very helpful to my clients who choose to scatter at sea. I'll be sure to pass this site on to them.

      Capt. Phil

      www.scatteringashesnyc.com

    • profile image

      Michelle 

      6 years ago

      I didn't really understand the idea of spreading ashes until I'd been a part of it. I wrote about my experience here:

      http://letsgolescophotos.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/...

      While it's not for me, I fully support an individual's choice to return to the earth this way. It was really a beautiful experience.

    • isabella. profile imageAUTHOR

      isabella. 

      8 years ago from England

      Thank for your comment 2uesday, i have just been reading your hubs on poetry really beautiful.

    • 2uesday profile image

      2uesday 

      8 years ago

      Beautifully put together - I am sure the poetry and ideas suggested here will be of help to others planning this important event. The poems you have selected are beautiful.

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