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Updated on June 9, 2015


How will I escape it?

I look at drivers on the highway

to them, their destination is more important than mine.

Why am I offended by this?

At the self-checkout line

I’m hurried by the person behind me.

Is their time more important than mine?

Why am I offended by this?

Jesus told me to deny myself,

pick up my cross, and follow Him.

Yet my senses continually remind me I'm alive.

If I could find a way to deny myself (maybe a good deed)

to technically not exist

I'll never be offended

I used to look for companionship

Now I don’t.

Yet a man without love, is like a

shriveled grape on a dying vine.

Is it possible to deny myself and pick up my cross?

To face trials and persecutions with gladness?

To trust in the Lord, and lean not on my own understanding?

What for? So what? Where's the payoff? Where’s the joy?

Why is my path crooked?

How will I know when it’s straight?

I used to drink,

my path was muddled with song and elusive laughter.

Isolation was a comfort, not a curse.

Tried, tested, and hopeful. I must go on..


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