Self Pity: Making the Switch to Self-Compassion
Self-Pity Isn't Pretty
The dictionary defines self-pity as
"excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles".
Yup. That about covers it.
We tend to mistake self-pity for pure honesty and kindness to ourselves, but it's actually quite the opposite. Self-pity tries to put on the disguise of self-compassion, but it doesn't wear it well.
I am easily sucked into the vortex of self-pity. Don't get me wrong: I don't enjoy it. I know that it's destructive, unhealthy, and unproductive. It's a menace.
Yet I cling to it like any other addict adheres to her vice. And when I do, I think,
"Well, you knew you were going to fall back into old habits eventually."
Like a dog returning to its vomit.
(I know, you're cringing, but it's in the Bible so I'm allowed to say it).
Self-Pity Sucks the Life Out of Life
I love reading books that focus on positive thinking. I am inspired by affirmations. Neuroplasticity and the brain's ability to develop new thought pathways is one of my all-time favorite subjects.
Focus, meditate, affirm, PMA . . . these are regular practices in my life.
Then something happens that makes me look down from the heights, and down I tumble down the hill.
I wallowed in the mud at about 2AM this morning. Rolling around in the muck, I obsessed over how much my writing sucks.
I'm not fooling anyone. I'll never be able to pay the bills. I'd better just get used to poverty because that's the way it's going to be. And shut-up, Self, because you deserve it.
How Do You Treat Self-Pity?
What do you do to get yourself into a positive mindset?
Self-Pity Takes the Focus off of Others
A Facebook friend had been posting updates on a little girl who was born with a rare condition and not expected to live. She died yesterday.
Yet my daughter is as healthy as can be.
I imagined that grieving mother, sitting at home, staring at an empty crib. I wanted to hug her and apologize for losing sight of all I have.
I thought of how much she would give to be in my position: no cash to buy groceries, but still having a little bed-headed one there to wake her up in the morning with a soft, sweet
"Mommm . . . "
Self-Pity Puts My Needs Before Yours
This diseased mental state is at the root of all society's ills.
- Self-pity says I deserve something more than that which I already have.
- Self-pity takes the focus off of others and onto myself.
- Self-pity is a pre-cancerous cell that grows into a tumor--a destructive organism that eats away its host until there's nothing left.
Compassion is the only cure for this wretched disorder. Knowing that there are others who suffer--often in unfathomable ways--takes the focus off the self. Remembering that we're human everyone makes mistakes promotes self-compassion and squashes self-pity.
Compassion for self and others is the only way to achieve happiness. The only way.
Resolving to achieve a perfect state of self-compassion at all times while ditching the "woe is me" attitude for good is too much.
I'll take it day by day, molding my mind to be grateful for abundance, focusing my energies on becoming a servant to others, and exercising self compassion so that I might become compassionate.
Killing this cancer of self-pity once and for all. one day at a time.
For Your Journey Toward Self-Compassion:
- Food and Depression | How the Gut-Brain Connection Impacts Your Mood
Did you know that the condition of your digestive system has a tremendous impact on your emotional state? Diminished gut flora, food sensitivities, and diets lacking in vital nutrients can all be root causes of depression and other mood disorders.
- Are You Sick and Tired? What You Can Do About Adrenal Fatigue
Adrenal fatigue is at the root of many common ailments, including weight gain, chronic fatigue, PMS, fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression, allergies, and brain fog.
- 5 Life Lessons Taught By a Florida Sunset
An awe-inspiring sunset has much to say about life and the ways in which we should live. Don't let another breathtaking moment pass you by!
© Liz Davis 2012 Self Pity | Self Compassion