Sending out an SOS/Message in a Bottle
The times are hard for sure and when they are bad, sometimes they are worse. If you have recently lost a job (within the last three years) and perhaps have become depressed from the whole affair, you may have found yourself staring at the bottom of a glass or a bottle. This in turn leads to further depression, because unfortunately even though alcohol has a temporary euphoric effect, it is also a depressant.
Been there too?
Yes, I have been there before. My choice was alcohol predominantly, but hey, when you lose yourself to that one, you tend to not discriminate against any other euphoric stimulants or behaviors and that includes sexual behaviors.
Once upon a time, we all had such innocence of thought, similar to man's best friend, the dog. Always trusting and even when hurt, returning to those who have mistreated us. The problem is, when enough mistreatment or a lack of self-esteem has reached the critical stage, we want escape and that opens us up to even more defeat, yet in the stage of self-doubt, it seems why should we care any longer.
What Was I Thinking?
and then...the guilt
Yes, the morning after and all the shame that comes around once we have sobered. We realize the harm we have done to ourselves and perhaps others. That kind of thought and guilt can have a negative impact on how you will handle not only your life, but that of your childrens too. The consuming nature of guilt was causing me to consume drink after drink and once again escape the negative thoughts. Too bad I had not realized earlier, that all I had achieved was to defer my pain and shame.
The past had caught up with me and others were becoming short in their patience with my erratic behavior. They had decided collectively to let me know how bad off I had become and now, although not then, I am thankful they did.
The real message is there is nothing in a bottle, a pill, a bed, a syringe or a pipe that will heal the part of you that has been wounded. If you feel you are missing something in your life, then you may have the best chance of overcoming whatever is in control of you right now. Sadly some will not admit or realize this til they have lost everything, perhaps even their will to live.
My story, even though it is still unraveling, has been one of triumph over addiction, but the road is still full of surprises and we must put up our guard. One addiction battle may be won to only concede the war to a addiction left unchecked. There is hope and there is a future, but you have to become an active participant in your own recovery.
My biggest ally in the war of addictive behaviors has been God. This is God the Father, God the Spirit and God the Son for me. The little faith I had has strengthened in my weakness of flesh, but as a lover of life and a celebrator of the gift therein, my purpose in this hub and my hope for you if you seek help, is that you will overcome!