Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll Mania. Bipolar Women and Hypersexuality.
Are you sure she's just promiscuous?
Having had my sexual escapades in numerous ways while being maniacal or hypo maniacal, I never linked my need for such adventures to Bipolar Disorder in the beginning. It is proven without a doubt that many Bipolar women, mention a state of hypersexuality while being hypo maniacal or maniacal.
Much more women than men, mention this hypersexuality as an extra symptom of their episode. Since there is so little information about Bipolar Disorder and the relation between hypersexuality and addiction to sex, my Hub will be entirely about this topic. Clearly one that isn't mentioned here at all on Hubpages.
Probably because it's no fun to write and relive your own sexual escapades when you weren't thinking straight at all. Let alone share your most intimate details related to those sexual adventures. After all, most women who have gone through similar sexual escapades, know about the price there is to pay and the shame that lays ahead, years after the actual events.
That's why I urge readers to pay close attention to my Hub, because you might have a friend, obviously addicted to sex, always being called promiscuous, behaving this way because the person might be suffering from an important symptom of Bipolar hypo mania. Someone not yet being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, not receiving proper treatment and risking his or her own life in a very serious way.
Want to find out more?
- Manic Hypersexuality and the Reality of Sexual Addiction
Hypersexuality is often a symptom of the manic phase of bipolar disorder. But if this escalates into an obsession, the person may have developed a sexual addiction.
- Treating the Highs and Lows of Bipolar Adults: Section 22
There is a dearth of literature informing practitioners about sexual health and bipolar disorder. A literature search using the combined key words sexual health and bipolar disorder in the Mental Health Collection database revealed only one paper by
When the appetite is gone
But first we have to look at an important difference between Depression and Hypo Mania or Mania. Having lived both sides of the illness in its most profound ways, I know from experience that one of my relationships suffered from the lack of sex. During one of my longest depressions, I lost complete interest and appetite for any kind of sexual activity. Meaning I had sex with my partner once every year! This went on for over three years and the few times I did have sex, I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over as soon as possible.
By sexual activity I also mean masturbation. While being deeply depressed, most people lose interest in themselves and their surroundings. Apart from not showering, changing clothes, brushing your teeth or taking care of yourself, a depressed person can lose complete interest in a pleasant and relaxing sexual activity, such as masturbation. Harmless, good for your health and a wonderful way to get to know your body better.
Since I gained 30 kilos at the time, my self-image took a drastic turn, my partner asked me at some point if I was pregnant and my self esteem was crushed to the bone. No more pleasure for me, I thought. "I'm fat, I'm ugly and it's too much trouble anyway." The few times I did try to pleasure myself, I lost my breath and couldn't keep up with the movement my hand had to make. It was simply too exhausting and I just longed for food, sleep and food.
Depression of course comes with a lot more symptoms than just the ones I mentioned above, but I'm not here to explain depression and how to cope with it. It's a simple example of how Bipolar Disorder can make a person, experience no sexual feelings at all. Next to losing appetite for sex in general, hypersexuality can be another extreme signal of Bipolar Disorder. This can occur when the person is in a state of Hypo Mania or Mania.
How does a woman lose herself without knowing?
When I think back of my first hypo maniacal episode, one specific feeling I will never forget. It seemed as if everyone was interested in me all of sudden! I felt important, gifted, elegant, beautiful and extremely happy for being so attractive.
The energy I transmitted when entering a room, was overly strong and intense, as if a wave of sexual curiosity filled up an entire dance club. That specific wave of dangerous sexual curiosity, brought me into a higher state of mind, taking me to the next level of the maniacal powers of Bipolar Disorder.
When someone turns hypo maniacal, at first nothing seems really different than normal. The fact that you start wearing more make-up than usual, polish your nails with bright shiny colors and you're walking out the door with extremely short mini skirts, probably makes you think you're just having a really good day. You didn't notice at all that this change in appearance has been going on for quite some weeks now.
Boys, men, grandpa's and even women, turn their heads and lift up their eyebrows. Men gaze at you, having this horny look in their eyes, while women gaze at you in disgust, having that bitchy look in their eyes, making you think they're jealous as hell. You don't realize at all that your bright red string shows when you bend over to pick up your keys from the ground, since your self perspective already is polluted by something called hypo mania.
The point of no return
In fact, when you do realize your red string shows, you bend over again! You think of yourself as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, showing what you got down there, while nipping from your Red Bull. You remember how jealous you were of women, having this amazing charisma, always being surrounded by good looking guys. You think of yourself as Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé.
You suddenly feel inspired by their fashion, you buy too much expensive magazines like Vogue or Elle, and you start to consider a real career as one of those top models you've seen in the pictures. Every new compliment you get from horny men passing by, makes you believe more and more you're life is about to change finally. From the meaningless young woman you were into a well paid fashion model, concurring the world with your looks and brains.
The remarks of your dad and the comments your friends make, are the only annoying comments you hear. You get angry with your dad for calling you a whore, you shout at your best friend for making you feel lousy and you avoid your mum's eyes, for the lack of enthusiasm she has for your new career. Why is everyone making it so hard on you? You're just having some fun. People you don't know, can see that for sure. Why can't they? Your hypo maniacal state of mind takes over day by day, until you've reached the point of no return.
Penelope Cruz and Santa Claus
Just to make you understand how difficult it is to recognize, you are indeed suffering from hypo maniacal symptoms, I will tell you a little bit about my standard, well thinking self. Normally spoken I like fashion, I wear nail polish once in a while, I like wearing make-up and I am a fan of Penelope Cruz and other strong and powerful women.
My wardrobe is a mixture of sexy, elegant summer dresses, miniskirts, lingerie and other clothing. I drink Red Bull once in a while and I am a flirtatious Latina woman with a great appetite for sex in general.
I talk about sex with friends as if talking about a sandwich I just ate, I am an open minded person and I feel no shame whatsoever, for sharing details about my sexual life with close friends or just a stranger sitting at the bar. My single life has been a life of numerous sexual adventures, for the simple fact that I am not the type of woman to do without sex more than a few months.
I'm no saint
I made sure I had one or two friends with benefits to keep my sex life limited to just two different men and I normally used condoms. I'm no saint, so telling you that I always used condoms, is the same thing as telling you I still believe in Santa Claus. Therefore I tested myself twice a year for anything I could have caught along the way and to my own surprise, I've never caught any sexually transmitted disease, not even when I was completely out of my mind!
So add this information to the rest and to really understand what's happening, when someone turns hypo maniacal, can be as difficult to grasp as learning a foreign language. Therefore you need to know all about yourself, your warning signals and the consequences of turning maniacal, to prevent that state of mind and the possibility of killing yourself along the way.
A must read from MsDora about promiscuous women!
- Women Helping Women Who Are Promiscuous and Naïve
Women find it easy to judge and condemn their promiscuous sisters. We should be more concerned with understanding them, in an effort to help them improve their lives, and uplift the standards of positive womanhood.
When your sex drive becomes lethal
Possible Symptoms of Manic Hypersexuality:
- Not feeling in control over when and with whom to have sex with.
- Losing constant amounts of fluid from your vagina during day and night.
- Thinking obsessively about sex every minute of the day.
- Feeling horny for no particular reason.
- Going out clubbing every single day of the week to hunt.
- Feeling overwhelmed by the urge of needing sex.
- Wearing almost nothing at all, every day to any kind of location.
- Masturbating several times a day without the control to stop.
- Watching a significant amount of porn movies all of a sudden.
- When having sex, safe sex is hardly an option.
Possible Consequences of Manic Hypersexuality:
- Very sensitive to new and risky sex games.
- Very sensitive to men offering money for sex.
- Very sensitive to men offering jobs in the sex industry.
- Very sensitive to combining drugs and alcohol with (violent) sex.
- Very sensitive to joining in on sex parties.
- Having sex with both men and women.
- Not being aware of any of the consequences your actions might have.
- No more sensitivity to the concept of right and wrong.
- Not being aware of possible sexual abuse.
- Losing complete track of time and place.
- Risking possible death due to sexually transmitted diseases.
- Risking to die of murder for being in dangerous environments.
Possible long term Consequences:
- Cheating on your partner.
- Losing your partner.
- Losing your family.
- Ending up in the sex industry without finding your way back.
- Needing years of therapy to cope with the guilt and shame later on.
- Finding it difficult to trust yourself again.
- Finding it difficult to trust others again.
How to treat Manic Hypersexuality?
First of all....If you suffer from Manic Hypersexuality, you probably suffer as well from Bipolar Disorder. If you've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, the first step has been made. The second step has to do with finding a specialist on Bipolar Disorder. With that specialist and a psychiatrist, you have to talk about good medication for Bipolar Disorder. Preferably medication that doesn't make you gain a lot of weight and has side effects, you can manage in a satisfying way.
Finding the right medication can take a lot of time before you're really satisfied and you have to use your own strong opinion about different kind of medication, when a psychiatrist is reluctant to change your meds. Lithium is the first option for a lot of psychiatrists, but it is definitely not the best option!
Meanwhile there is another long road to follow. Set up a crisis care plan with your specialist. Treating Manic Hypersexuality means treating Bipolar Disorder in every aspect of it. Getting Hypo Maniacal not just happens to someone. It will though if that person is not aware of his warning signals.
Detect strange changes in your behavior
In your crisis care plan you have to find out all about circumstances, triggers, development and consequences of your Maniacal, Psychotic and Depressive state of mind. Only then you will be able to set up a list of actions, to undertake as soon as you detect strange changes in your behavior.
Not only will you learn about every small and important warning signal there is, your family and friends have the opportunity to help you out as well. They can be part of this plan and point out certain changes as they will see those changes sooner than you will yourself. Bipolar Disorder has its way of sneaking up on you, getting you into trouble without realizing you're following a certain pattern again.
As you might understand, all of this can take years of preparation, research and therapy. This makes it very understandable why people suffering from Bipolar Disorder, first learn about the destructive side of this illness. Some lose their marriage, others lose touch with their complete family and I almost ended up behind a window in the red light district of Amsterdam.
When you lose control you lose more
When I joined a support group in Holland for people with Bipolar Disorder, I met the first woman telling me about Manic Hypersexuality. A normal day of the week. Her husband had gone of to work and she expected a guy to come and clean the windows. Her uncontrollable need for sex, made her flirt with that guy by wearing a sexy dress and high heels.
As he was cleaning the windows of the living room, he flirted back while she was inside. She started to dance on the table, trying to make him horny but the guy stayed at his side of the window. While telling me all this, she told me how hard it was to realize afterwards, she made a terrible mistake but she didn't know how to control herself anymore. At the time it seemed a naughty game.
"Only one thing would make this guy come in", she said. "I took of my dress, I took of my string and showed myself from top to bottom, while laying on the couch, waiting for him to enter the living room, to free me from this smothering need for sex."
She confessed later to her husband, since she couldn't bare living with a lie and lost her marriage over it. I was shocked by her story but I recognized that uncontrollable need for sex in every maniacal episode I've had. I also found out about the guilt and the shame you carry on for years, since it's hard to accept you weren't actually your well thinking self.
It's no understatement, that I could have died on many occasions, while being maniacal but mostly while I was suffering from Manic Hypersexuality.
When you learn to enjoy
Even though I've made very clear that you should not think too easy about this topic, I have to also keep reminding you readers of the importance of sex as a wonderful part of life. Don´t let Bipolar Disorder take that away from you.
Whatever opinion people might have about your way of life, dealing with Bipolar Disorder or coping with the consequences of Manic Hypersexuality, doesn't mean you can't explore life by having innocent sexual adventures. It is still something completely natural and normal to want if you are living your life as a single person.
Women in general will be facing tougher judgment than men for choosing such kind of liberate and adventurous roads, for humanity will be running around in these forever circles when it comes to prejudices towards sex and women. Just like we never get rid of the harsh opinions about mental illnesses or people with different skin colors
The trick is to learn, enjoy and explore your world the best way possible. For being a Latina woman, I'll always strive to find a relationship with someone who's a lover of passionate nights like me. This will always make the difference between friendship and love, making it possible to bond over the joy and wonders of satisfying pleasure.