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Shhhhh . . . Keep Your Plans to Yourself

Updated on September 9, 2015
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Clarissa is a published author. She has a BA in Psychology from Ottawa Univ., MA from Webster Univ. and an EdS from Walden Univ.

Sharing Your Passion Isn’t Everyone’s Passion

There was a time when I was thinking of something spectacular, a plan that would change the lives of many (so I imagined), I would pick up the phone and call my closest family member(s) or friend(s). I was always confident those I loved would be just as excited for me as I was for my keen ideas. Why would I have such a notion? It was because whenever anyone close to me, or even a stranger for that matter, shared their passionate ideas with me, I was one of their biggest cheerleaders. I believe everyone should have a chance to soar as high as the heavens. So, why would I not believe those closest to me would cheer for me as well?

However, time and time again, I would get my feelings hurt because those I loved did not see the greatness of my passions. Whether it was my passion for writing, or my passion for education, or my passion for love, it often seemed I was alone in my stratosphere. I struggled with frequent disappointment of sharing my joys and goals just to have them squashed. It took me time to accept not everyone will be happy for me and my dreams.

A Vote of Non-Confidence

For example, I did not attend my high school graduation because my great-grandmother died and I was asked to fly with her last living sibling, who happened to be blind, to attend her funeral. After the funeral, I mentioned I missed my graduation, when my oldest aunt said she did not believe that I had graduated. I had to contact my principal and asked to have my diploma mailed. When it arrived, I showed my diploma to my aunt, she huffed, rolled her eyes, and said, “So, what? That’s nothing.” I was crushed. I could not believe my academic success was “nothing.” I could no longer dwell in the fantasies of a little girl with naïve trust. I finally grew up and accepted reality: not everyone wants me to be happy and successful. Some of those“poison people[1]”often dwell within our immediate circles.

Who Do You Think You Are?

I recall listening to a cassette tape in the early 90's (yes, it was that long ago). It was a sermon by Dr. Myles Monroe[2]. He was sharing his story about building an all-girls school. Some of his family criticized his dreams and asked him, “Who do you think you are? Your father was a farmer. Your grandfather was a farmer. All you will ever be is a farmer.” I had listened to that tape more than 20 years ago. However, that one statement stayed with me all these years. As I would share my dreams with close family and friends, and have those dreams questioned, I felt like Dr. Monroe felt about his grandiose dream of building that all-girls school. He stood still and stayed focused. He accomplished that goal and many more with the support of a few close family and friends as well as many strangers who believed in him. The same goes for me when I share my joys of being in love and planning my forever with my closest loved ones. I have heard:

“Oh, she’s tried that one before.”

“Umph! This one won’t last.”

“Why a White boy? You’re just a fetish.”

These are just a few of the killjoy statements. Yes. I have heard them all. All this coming from those who claim they have my best interests at heart. Their so-called "concern" for my well-being is a mystery. Those naysayers will continue to sit around and wait for me to pick up the phone and tell them, “You were right. I’ve failed again at love. Who do I think I am?” They can keep waiting for that call because this time is different. I have learned how to love and value myself. I am healthy to have a healthy love. I have learned from the school of trials and tribulations. What I have learned most is to do as Nike® declares, “Just Do It”.

Keeping Plans Under Lock and Key

I will keep my plans to myself until they are complete. I will hold my goals close to my breast until they are reached. I will keep my plans to myself until I have reached the mountaintop; and then, only then, will I shout to the world. It is all about being stealth. I will “Just Do It” and live my life with absolute purpose. Remember, silence is truly golden.



  • Sharing your passion isn't everyone's passion.Just because someone is family, or you grew up with a childhood best friend, doesn't always mean they will be your cheerleader.
  • Your dreams may not get a vote from those closest to you.
  • Follow your gut instinct or intuition. If someone doesn't 'feel right', they aren't right.
  • If anyone questions your dreams, cut them loose quickly. Know your worth. Don't depend on others to value you. That's your job.
  • Keep your plans under lock and key. Would you give thieves easy access to your valuables? Treat your dreams like valuable gems because they are!

[1] Douthit, C. (2011, June21). Hubpages. Retrieved March 17, 2012, from A Remedy for Eliminating Poison People: http/

[2] Monroe, M. (2009). Retrieved March 17, 2012, from Bahama Faith Ministries International Fellowship: http/


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