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Should We Help People With Disabilities Experience Sex?

Updated on November 21, 2017
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Do People with Autism Desire Intimacy?

One area that people often overlook when it comes to helping people with disabilities is their sexuality and sex life. It is often assumed that people with disabilities are asexual and have no desire in an intimate experience with someone. In reading an article I found that most caretakers and parents of someone with a disability simply did not realize that their child or adult with a disability label had an interest in sex or a desire for it.

Yes, the answer is yes. We should absolutely help people with disabilities have a sexual experience and be intimate with someone. Being disabled makes all that harder and there are many things we can do to address those issues for someone with a disability label.

Something that caught my eye was something called surrogate partner therapy. It is where a trained sexual surrogate would come in and work with the person who has the disability to help them with many of their concerns and issues. Since this is a tough subject to talk about this surrogate would not only be serving as a sexual surrogate for their client but they could also serve as a social coach or emotional skills coach to teach the other person how to relate to them.

While this is one option it is also a very expensive therapy right now. This would likely cost thousands of dollars. Meanwhile I recently learned overseas that there are some countries that give people with disabilities vouchers to go in and be intimate with the woman of their choosing. This was very exciting to me and would be like having the ultimate real girlfriend experience.

While prostitution is illegal there are certain parts of the world to where it is legal and in those parts, we should do whatever we can to help someone with a disability label experience intimacy. I debate back and forth in my mind which way to go would be better. There are pros and cons to both ways of approaching helping people with disabilities experience sex.

Cost is one of the major differences. It would be much cheaper for someone with a disability to go into a brothel and meet someone for pleasure than it would be to hire a surrogate therapist to work through someone and help someone with autism experience life in its totality.

The down side to going with a brothel instead of surrogate therapy is that the client would not get the chance to form an emotional connection with their sexual partner. This is the primary reason I am wanting to experience sex. I really want to be able to experience sex in ways that people without disabilities experience it in.

I prefer to go with a surrogate therapist but where as that is so expensive I think we would have to settle with going with the brothel option. I still think the brothel would be very beneficial for me and people like me, but I do think that going into a situation where you are forming a relationship with a surrogate therapist would be very beneficial for me as well because I would get to see how the relationship develops.

Wouldn’t it be spectacular if people with disabilities could experience intimacy like people without disabilities? We support people with disabilities in, so many challenges why can’t sexuality and intimacy be something that we help people with autism learn about and experience in a safe way?

Physical touch and intimacy are very basic human needs and it has caused me a lot of trauma not to be able to experience those needs in a real relationship like someone without a disability would be able to. It is hard to accept that my disability makes it harder to try connecting with women so that I can form an intimate relationship with them.

I know this sexuality thing is big with my autism because for years it controlled me, and it took over my life. There was no focusing on anything else because I really believed I was going to die if I didn’t have sex. Now I try to control it some. It is hard to control but I am working on a good cognitive behavior therapy plan and that helps me a lot, so I don’t have to fixate or obsess over things so much.

This is such a tremendously huge issue in the disability community. We live in the United States of America. We should be addressing these issues for our disabled population before other countries around the world are addressing these very issues.

In our American Society we have such great difficulty in having conversations about sex and sexuality. Our society loves to engage in sex, but we don’t like to talk about it or have conversations about helping people with disabilities be happy and enjoy an intimate experience with someone special.

Which way do you think we should go with this? Are you on the side of not helping people with disabilities experience a sexual experience? Do you think we should aim for surrogate partner therapy? Do you think we should go with the brothel idea and try to get the government to pay for people with disabilities to have an intimate experience? Where do you stand?

I for one believe that we should help people with disabilities accomplish all their dreams if it is within our resources to do so and this is something that would be at the top of the list of things to experience for people with disabilities.

Imagine if it was your child who was disabled and couldn’t connect with others in normal ways. Would you want someone to help your child? Would you want the stigma of sex to prevent your child from getting help making their dreams come true?

There are two sides to this debate and both are good arguments, but ultimately shouldn’t it come down to the person with the disability to be able to make these choices for him or herself?

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