- Quality of Life & Wellness
Life Coaching 911: Five Mistakes People Make When They Make A Mistake
You Can't Avoid Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are a part of life, and actually required for personal growth and understanding. From the time we are born, we are in motion of developing skills that often require struggles, and mistakes to achieve them. Mistakes are growth opportunities, but are often not treated as such.
The fear of making a mistakes is not actually about the mistake itself, it's about fearing what others may think of us. Consequences also play a role in this fear. Mistakes often cause some degree of pain or struggle to ourselves and sometimes others. Mistakes that effect others come with conflict, anger, and a reaction that is typically not welcoming; this too causes fear in making a mistake.
A Growth Opportunity
Often times in the personal tug-of-war of making a mistake, people lose sight of how to actually handle and respond to the mistake. I think most would agree that making the same mistake twice, is not a comforting thought; although we see this happen again and again. Mistakes are made for many reasons, inexperience, not following instincts, desire, etc.
For many, the thought of making a mistake causes apprehension with taking a challenge, or pursuing a goal. Life cannot be fully lived if crippled by the thought of making mistakes. A common barrier for many is missing out on companionship or love because of the fear of making a mistake. This especially holds true for those who have been hurt or disappointed before, afraid of loving again, because they made a "mistake" the first time around. I often hear divorced people state "I will never make that mistake again", referring to marriage as being a mistake, when actually it was the mistakes in the marriage that caused its failure, not marriage itself. People often run from mistakes, not realizing the lesson behind them.
Ironically, there are mistakes that people make when they make a mistake. These mistakes often create obstacles in moving forward, and can even cause more problems than the mistake itself.
Mistakes To Avoid When You Make a Mistake
How you handle a mistake can play a large role in your recovery from it, as well as for anyone affected by it. There are common mistakes people make when they make a mistake. Effort should be made to avoid these mistakes. With an understanding of this, recovering, growth, and acceptance can be achieved with ease and less personal conflict, or hard feelings from others.
Not Apologizing This is one of the biggest complaints I hear from those on the other end of someones mistake, and one of the biggest mistakes a person makes when they make a mistake. The phrase, an apology goes a long way, is certainly true. If you make a mistake which effects others, apologize. You wouldn't think this mistake would happen, but it often does. If you make a mistake, do not expect forgiveness, or tension to disappear until your apology presents itself. People will always hold a person in higher regard if they have the ability to apologize.
Question to Self Did I apologize the last time I made a mistake that effected someone else?
Losing The Lesson Often times with the emotions, guilt, and back-peddling that happens when one makes a mistake, the lesson gets lost. Every mistake has a lesson to be learned. Without realizing the lesson, the mistake could present itself again. More important, losing the lesson, prevents the opportunity for growth.
Question to Self What lesson did I learn the last time I made a mistake? Did I grow from the lesson?
Escaping As a protective mechanism and means of coping, many people who make a mistake try to escape the consequences of it. Taking ownership of your mistakes is always the right path to choose. Side stepping and avoiding disclosing the mistake can cause more guilt and inner turmoil in the long run. Escaping workplace mistakes is most common. Mistakes in the workplace that effect other people are often left a mystery requiring more time and money for a supervisor to solve. Severe negative consequences will come from not disclosing a workplace mistake if caught.
Self Question Do I avoid disclosing my mistakes?
Placing Blame Blaming others for our own mistakes is a big mistake to avoid. Children do it yes, but adults do it too. It is indecent to make someone else suffer for something they didn't do, it's even more indecent if you cause it. Although placing blame is another form of escaping, it is far more destructive than making a mistake, and choosing not to disclose it. Placing blame, primarily as an adult, is often a sign of a deeper underlying issue that can be connected to fear of personal harm, or childhood emotional wounds. If you find yourself in this category, you may want to consider talking with a professional about this behavior.
Self Question Do I try to blame others for my mistakes?
Lying We all know the importance of truth telling, but many who make mistakes, make the mistake of lying about it. Making a mistake and lying about it is often an attempt to avoid the consequences associated with the mistake. The ultimate effort to avoid the pain and struggle that may be involved. Although lying about a mistake may seem like an easy way out, it will never allow the opportunity for growth to happen, and lessons can never be learned. Most people who lie about their mistakes make the same mistakes again. The personal and emotional consequences of lying are more destructive than those of the mistake itself. In other words, mistakes are more acceptable than lying.
Self Question When I make a mistake, do I ever lie about it?
Mistakes Are Stepping Stones to the Authentic Self
Although it is impossible to live life without making mistakes, it is possible to limit your growth, and cripple inner peace, depending on how you handle them. Additionally, reputations and relationships can be negatively affected if you avoid learning from your mistakes, or don't take ownership of them.
Mistakes are a requirement in life, a necessity, the stepping stones to a more authentic self. Embrace your mistakes, apologize when necessary, take ownership, and don't run or lie. Just think, if people didn't make mistakes, life would be a smoothly paved road to nowhere, boring, and utterly pointless.
Empowering and Intelligent Resources
Emotional growth and empowerment is something we all seek and need. Although it is the decision of self to blossom, getting there is often a journey that requires insights and learning.