ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Mental Health»
  • Emotions

Six top ways to overcome unhappiness in life

Updated on October 11, 2013

Being happy or unhappy is your choice!

‘Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy’ -Wayne Dyer

Unhappiness is a state of mind just like happiness. When your mind instills in you happiness, you feel happy and when your mind instills in you unhappiness, you feel unhappiness. What you feel is decided by your mindset and also by the situation you are in. You face so many problems in your life and it makes you unhappy when the problems persist to make your life a torture. If you look back, the main culprit for your disappointment is you and no one else. When your mindset is tuned to the negative aspects of life you feel unhappiness.

1. Giving undue importance to others

Why do you give importance to other people? You feel that they mean a lot to you and you go out of the way to please them. In workplace you keep your boss in a pedestal and think that pleasing him is your way up to success. You work slavishly for a word of praise from your boss and feel utter dejection and unhappiness when your work is overlooked. It is true you have to work hard, but do not do it in slavish way. Your work should speak for you and you should be mentally detached enough to be able to handle your- never- satisfied -boss.

You should respect others and you should value their opinion, but you should do all this in a measured way and not overdo it. When you feel that your respect is ignored there is nothing to feel unhappy about it and you should move away mentally from that situation.

2. Do not be a perfectionist

Perfection is good, but imperfection is human. You should set up certain standards in life and you should also work towards achieving it. But suppose you cannot achieve the perfection you aimed. Does that make you a lesser person? Of course, it doesn’t. Do not set up unrealistic goals and feel that you are incompetent if you are unable to reach your aim. Be realistic and feel happy for the small achievement you get. Do not be unhappy when there is a delay in your work or its result. Patience is the key to your happiness and impatience can instigate unhappiness in your mind as you want everything to happen immediately.

Hurried steps, working in haste and stumbling in the way can make you unhappy. One step at a time and working at your pace and striding relentlessly to your achievable goal is the magic to happiness. Perfection comes from time and practice and so you need not be unhappy at small stumbles and falls.

3. Expecting others to be as you want them to be

Many a time, bitterness in family arises when you have impractical expectations about your spouse or your children. You want your spouse to be a perfect wife\husband and when you feel she\he falls short of your expectations you feel unhappiness. You have expectations and dream about your children too. You are invariably disappointed as your children are individuals with mind of their own and when they want to do what they like, you are extremely stressed and unhappy.

Do not thrust your expectations on others and become unhappy when your expectations are not met. Just as you want to lead your own life, your spouse and children also have freedom to do what they want.

4. Guilt

Guilt can cause you so much of unhappiness. You hurt others and feel unhappy about it. You do something wrong and feel unhappy. You give a promise and when you are unable to keep it, you feel unhappy. Your unhappiness is the result of the guilt you feel that you have done something wrong. ‘To err is human’, this saying is so relevant to you and everyone else. Mistakes are committed knowingly or unknowingly and it can be rectified. You will feel unhappy if you keep brooding about it and feel guilty. Instead of feeling guilty you can apologize for the wrong done and asking forgiveness is a good characteristic of a good human being.

5. Unhappy past

There is sometimes something about your past that you dislike. You could have committed a crime and could have been sentenced for it. You could also have led a life which is not worth telling anybody about. Your parents could have been of bad upbringing and so your childhood days could have been miserable and unhappy. Past is past and should not intrude into your present. You should forget your bitter past and make most of your present and when you can make your present life worthwhile, there is nothing you can feel unhappy about your past.

6. Comparison

Are you in a habit of comparing yourself with others and if your answer is in the affirmative, I am sure you spend most of your time in unhappiness. Your friend’s life is better than you, your colleague is more proficient than you and list goes on and on. When you compare yourself with others, you should always remember that you are belittling yourself . When you feel that you are lesser person than others, it causes mental agony and unhappiness in you.

Your competitor should be you and no one else. You should compare you with yourself. Talk within you to improvise your life and give yourself pep talk to make you confident. A confident person never feels unhappy.

Unhappiness in your life is your invention and it is you who should make efforts to overcome it. When you bow down to unhappiness it takes the driver seat and drives you along the path of self destruction, failure and pessimism. It is you who have to decide how your life is going to be; happy or unhappy. When you like happiness, you can easily achieve it, but if you point your fingers at unhappiness, you buckle under the pressure and you cannot lead your life as you want to, as unhappiness has taken a decisive hold over your life.

© 2012 mathira


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      mathira 5 years ago

      Ebonny, you are true when you say that some people are their own enemy.

    • gsidley profile image

      Dr. Gary L. Sidley 5 years ago from Lancashire, England

      Words of wisdom.

      In particular I would echo the perfectionism and demanding that others be what we want them to be; two sure ways to become depressed.

    • kathryn1000 profile image

      kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

      So true

    • Ebonny profile image

      Ebonny 5 years ago from UK

      This was a great read and in particular I like what you said about making comparisons.

      Unfortunately, some people are unwittingly their own worse enemy.

      Thumbs up etc.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 5 years ago from chennai

      Thank you HattieMattieMae for your comments.

      Thank you KerryAnita.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 5 years ago from chennai

      cam8510, when I had unrealistic expectations about my daughter, I was disappointed.But when I realized that she is an indvidual with her own world, we are now the best of friends. Thank you for your visit.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 5 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Thank you for pointing out so many ways to happiness. I have to be careful of my expectations of others. That is what leads to my own unhappiness quite often. Thank you for using you beautiful spirit and your words in such an encouraging way. up and shared

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Very nice hub, and very much truth in it! :)

    • KerryAnita profile image

      KerryAnita 5 years ago from Satellite Beach, Florida

      So True! great Hub!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is used to quickly and efficiently deliver files such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisements has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)