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Slam Dunk that Funk 5th edition

Updated on May 2, 2014
The slam dunk actually has nothing to do with the article.
The slam dunk actually has nothing to do with the article.

Hello again. It is I, your guru of all things random and chaotic. I am here again to throw a monkey wrench into your life… in a good way. Hmmm... I am here to remove the monkey wrench from your life… that sounds better. Quick and easy changes that could switch up exactly what needed to be switched. Healthy ideas to make you feel better. I might like to open with a joke. “I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.” Alright well I suppose we can into the new list but first here are the first 4 lists:

Jump right into some more ideas. Here we go:

#1 Poached eggs

Eggs are a standard for the standard breakfast. Standard may be adequate, but we are looking for out of the ordinary. Scrambled, sunny-side up/down, and omelets are the main ways most people cook their eggs. Did you know that a chef’s hat traditionally has either 100 folds or 100 stitches that both symbolize that they can prepare an egg 100 different ways? They can do 100 different ways and we have been sputtering around only using only 3? The internet is full of useful cooking tips. If you search for ways to make an egg, you are bound to come across about 100 different ways to prepare an egg and then once you complete all of those you will be considered a chef (symbolically). The preparation way I decided to highlight was the poached egg. Poached eggs are better because there is no added fat and such because it is like boiling the egg. Basically:

You get a saucepan or pot and put water in it.

When the water is boiling or close, you add some vinegar to the water and lower the heat.

Add the egg to the water and stir the water to create a whirlpool.

Once the egg seems done, you scoop it out with a strainer spoon thing or dry the egg on a paper towel.

I like cutting my toast into long fingers for dipping.

Take a picture of your meal because that’s what people do and then enjoy.

My explanation was maybe not the most technical or helpful in exactly how to make these eggs. I could not find the exact article that showed me how to do it, but there are plenty of options out there if you are looking for better directions than I have giving. I am here more to help point you in the direction of new and interesting choices to change the mundane. If you have 100 options, do not just choose the same 3 again and again. Branch out.


#2 Take bath/Bubble beard

Normal people take showers. Unless you are a child, most people think people who take baths are weird. The perception is just a social norm. Every once in a while it is relaxing to take a nice bath. Change up the normal routine and relax. Add some salts, bubbles, or something else to the bathwater for added benefits. When taking a bubble bath, always make sure to take the bubbles and place them on your face to pretend you have a beard. Even if you already have a beard, this is fun. If you did not do this as a child, I am letting you know now. I have talked to girls who admitted to doing the bubble beard in the bath. I thought that it was a gender specific activity, but it is not. Being silly makes hard times into less daunting adventures. Unwind, listen to music, and just diminish your stress in a warm tubby. No one will judge you because no one will know. It is our secret.

Trying to pick the least sexual picture of me in boxer briefs.  Difficult, but I think I nailed it.
Trying to pick the least sexual picture of me in boxer briefs. Difficult, but I think I nailed it.

#3 Boxer briefs

In the past, men were torn between the discomfort of briefs and boxers. Briefs, aka Whitey Tighties, are openly mocked harshly in most circles of young people. Only “old people” would ever wear this type of underwear. They are tight and squeeze everything in like a vice. No comfort is given for your legs. Boxers on the other hand offer no support for any of the business downstairs. Everything is flopping around willy-nilly. Why even bother wearing these less glorified shorts? Going commando is not really much of an option either. Gross. They leave you getting your back stuff and front stuff rubbing all over your shorts or pants. No thank you. I tried to make this the least vulgar I could. When you are talking about undergarments, there has to be some talk of what they cover. Basically boxer briefs are the best of both worlds. Comfort and support while offering fully coverage and such. Most people probably know about these, but in case you have not. I am doing you a favor. Also a day of commando aka “free balling,” can add a little excitement to an average day. Just do not make that a routine.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  :~)
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. :~)

#4 Drink a gallon of water in a day or an hour

You might have heard of trying to drink a gallon of milk in an hour. The basic idea of that is that you will puke and be unable to finish the milk. This is not quite the case with water. You are more likely to be able to finish the water. Instead of it being bad for your health, it is actually good for you. Drinking a gallon of water every day is helpful for your digestion, cells, and hydration. Water is good for you. Most people know that. Challenge your friend to see who can drink their gallon of water faster. This fun challenge is definitely out of the ordinary.

#5 Run (Get a Runner’s High)

Exercise is a great way to invigorate the body. Running helps build muscle, increase cardio, and decrease stress. Running might be a challenge at first, but once you really get going it becomes easier. You can experience a “runner’s high.” This feeling is awesome. Achieving this high is difficult because you need to push through your body telling you to stop. You start to feel like you are running on clouds. Your body starts to feel like it is moving without you having to tell it to move. Your mind starts to drift off into a hypnotic state. You can enter a state of deep mediation. Endorphins rush into your brain to mitigate pain sensation. A sense of euphoria can take over your body. Although you might get addicted to this feeling, running is much less detrimental to your health than drugs. Attempting to reach this point will also help to get into better shape. If you are in better shape, you feel better about yourself. If you take care of your heart and lungs, your life expectancy increases dramatically. The number one cause of death in developed countries is cardiovascular disease. Fight that.

My sister running with the action shot mode thing.  No Lebron James, but still a cool effect.
My sister running with the action shot mode thing. No Lebron James, but still a cool effect.

There you have it, another list of ways to change up. There are new ways of doing old things, silly ideas, better items, new challenges, and healthy choices. Thanks for supporting me. Even just glancing over the list very quickly helps me advance. Leave a comment about what you like and did not like about the articles. I'm always open to criticism or new ideas. Until then remember, life is more fun outside the box.


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