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So Do You Really Want Love All The Time?

Updated on August 7, 2015

A flash flood. An hour before this was a dry canyon bed. A day later we hiked right through the canyon with no river left. The only thing certain is change. Yes

Water is essential for life. Too much in the wrong place at the wrong time is deadly.
Water is essential for life. Too much in the wrong place at the wrong time is deadly. | Source

Love everything?

Of course we really want love, right? Well buckaroos not so fast. If what you think of when we say “really” is that when you think about it, of course you want love, then you are probably right on. If what you think about when you say you really want love is how you act, you probably are off the mark a bit. Golly gee I sure like being loved – nope I surely love being loved and loving. Then why do I act the way I do? Let us take a look at how we treat love.

Most assuredly I can say to you that most people wake up in the morning and begin to think about what they “have” to do that day. When we think of it that way, isn’t it kind of sad. A whole life spent doing what we have to do. We might even anticipate doing something we love to do on the weekend. We may get to do what we love every day for a bit. But what would you give to get up every morning and begin to think about what you would “love” to do that day and then start doing it? We are talking about every day.

How would you like to love the one you are with no matter who you are with? How about loving distractions and disappointment? Hey here is a good one: how would you like to love it when your spouse is just plain nagging and bitching at you? And of course here is the zinger; how about loving it when you are “suffering” an illness? Here are some good ones to find love in. When your car breaks down. Politicians and lawyers. Drunken bums slobbering all over you. Internet access interruption. A blackout. A bankruptcy.

The amount of light on a subject changes our whole perspective.

It is the contrast between the shadow and the sunlight that makes the view so spectacular.
It is the contrast between the shadow and the sunlight that makes the view so spectacular. | Source

Seeking shelter against the wind. Perhaps we would do better to embrace the wind.

I choose to love -- sometimes!

At this point the discerning reader is questioning whether or not they want to love some of the above. The writer sure is. Somehow in our human existence we started viewing love as something we choose. It is not at all strange to hear someone say: “I don’t like”. We even hear the occasional “I hate you”. We see people stuck in their preconceived notions constantly. That is why we have politically correctly banned the word prejudice, even though the word is neutral. Yes indeed in this day and age we just accept the concept of not loving something as normal. Probably it has always been that way. I do not even think anyone would be shocked to hear someone say “I choose not to love you anymore”. How many spouses have divorced based upon the notion of; “I just do not love you anymore”?

What is submitted here is a simple concept. This idea of not loving everything and everyone is normal and normally nonsensical. Can we all agree that love comes from within us? So why does the external control what we love? A color or temperature or smell makes me not love? Wait just a blasted minute here. The texture of that sweater does not determine if I am “in” love or not! I refuse to be bounced around like a pinball like that. How does this sound to you? That guy just criticized my writing, therefor I am going to move out of love and into hating him. Which brings us right back to the issue. Do we really want to love?

I know a gal who shall remain nameless as I live in fear of recrimination, and she really believes that if you are smiling and happy you are not serious. And if you are not serious you are not being productive. She really believes that seriousness equals working hard. A frown on a worker, to her is a good sign. Well that is one hell of a note.

Well sometimes love hurts. Sometimes it feels good just to declare the bum no good.

What?

Sometimes you just have to clear off your desk and start over.
Sometimes you just have to clear off your desk and start over. | Source

No magic wand.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if at this point in this article there was a trick revealed where we could love all the time. Sorry that will not work and it is not the point here. Loving everything and everyone all of the time is not an answer. For one, it is completely impossible and for two it would not work. We need our lack of love in order to appreciate our love. But look at how well that works out. In our imperfections we create a needed element of life. If victory were assured there would be no need strive to do better. And if we have nothing to strive for we lose our purpose. Imagine a world where no one needed our love, what would become of a mother and child?

So when we are “out of love” that means that someone can give us theirs. And so be it, that when someone is “out of love” we can give them ours. Now that most glorious of truths of our human reality cannot die because we are not all in love all the time. So that when I am an empty vessel I shall seek being full and when I am a full vessel I shall seek where to pour out some of my love. Once again showing us that the beauty of life is not in the destination but in the path we take and how we approach it. Oh boy, today when I am out of love I am going to find someone to give me some, I can hardly wait to run out.

We know you have to go out and make a living today. We wish you well and hope for your success. It would be our hope that after reading this that just a little second of your day will be focused on love. Someone will really appreciate it.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 24 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lawrence you sound like you have a great plan. There is that cool zone about having your day to day down into autopilot, one of those dichotomies where the more grounded we are the more free we are. Heck if you are in the 90% brackets on anything you are doing great, but we knew that already!

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 24 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      I don't get up in the morning thinking of all the things I have to do, they're 'locked into the autopilot', but I do get up thinking of what I want to fit between the things I have to do.

      Eg I do have to go to work, but I want to get the wife's birthday present on my break so I make that plan. Works for me!

      Great read and so true. Trying to love every minute would be so exhausting and it would lose some of the ZING of being special!

      Maybe I should settle for 90% of everything.

      Lawrence

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Certainly you are peachpurple.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      It would be heart warming to be loved

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Dora, really nice to hear from you, thank you. I like to think that some endless cycles are great.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Well, our love tank is not always full; it needs to be replenished occasionally. I like the concept: when we are “out of love” ... someone can give us theirs. . . when someone is “out of love” we can give them ours. That way we share love and get replenished in the process. You really make us think.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I hear you Dana. I think after a bit we train ourselves to look for the good. But boy howdy could I be an angry young man in my day.

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 2 years ago from LOS ANGELES

      I think we would love to find love in all things, but that can be hard. I love way more now then I did when I was younger. As a young adult, I hated everything.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Muchas Gracias Kathy,

      Love is so cool. Did you know that no matter where you go you will find love? In that I am just a bit crazy I have found myself in war areas, prisons, horrible slums, hospices, morgues and even all alone miles and miles from the nearest person or vehicle and everywhere I go I not only bring love but find it. Truly amazing.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image

      The Stages Of ME 2 years ago

      "Can we all agree that love comes from within us? So why does the external control what we love?" Loved this line and this Hub, excellent points. People are so goofy, saying I choose not to love! If your living and breathing today, then it is all about the love and sharing it with others.

      Nicely Done! Have a wonderfully blessed day :)

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ed, early morning is my quiet time of the day. An upbeat visit from you is like that light creeping across the landscape as a new day with new promise arises and arrives. Thank you Mr. Sunshine.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks for the love Venkatachari, I am surrounded by it yet find I need more and more of it. It sure is nice to have friends like you.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Faith you nailed it I think. It is not so much the loving that is tiring but all the stuff that goes with it. Maybe we can take a look at pure love verses what is expected of us. Thank you.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Jackie, It would be interesting to spend some time looking at how many ways we actually love. Greek and Latin give us a good start, but there are so many more ways. Thank you for the intriguing comment.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 2 years ago

      If anyone ever makes money from writing here , I hope it would be you my friend , Always passing around these bits of concern and wisdom for your friends , -- Ahh , to live in the happiness of love is in effect living in the moment , is it not ! You are so right [write ] lol , "the light on the subject changes our perception "...... you got it ! You inspire people Eric ! I think I'll go write something .....

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      I like it. When you are full of love, you shall seek where to pour out some of it. And, let me pour some on you. Very beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it. My love and blessings.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bobbi, I should have bought stock in Advil. No not for me for all my nice friends that put up with me and my mental meanderings. I hope you have Spiderman bubble bath like we do around here. Thank you for coming by and brightening this hub.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, yes, I do understand about that too : ) Fatigue can steal our love but then it is time to love ourselves to regroup. But, still, we don't stop loving in the true sense of the word, we just need a break from stress it seems.

      Blessings

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Anne, I hope all is well on your side of the pond. I suppose my eldest daughter is right, most folks have hobbies or collect things, I spend my free time collecting my thoughts and polishing them up. Well now I suppose that is even not real honest, I spend all my time exploring possibilities of the heart, faith and emotions. I suppose that kind of brings us to Bobbi's comment.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Clive, I hear you and I have been there. It is kind of a peaceful easy space to occupy.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Faith I am so sorry for your husband's distress but so happy that you can take the time to stay with him and love him back to health. I pretty much go with you with an added proviso; when I am exhausted giving and/or receiving love lifts me up and energizes me. I do see Bill's point though, when my son is on his 100th question of the hour I need a break to get that loving feeling back :-)

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Brian, some days I have to go all out take no prisoners loving just to act reasonable. I must say I do not know an unhappy person who pursues love on a full time basis. On the other hand I know my wife wishes I would love a little less and work a little more.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Bill, don't mind me I am just some of that spam selling used tires. If we take how we act as a true measure of our love, you are overflowing and I always appreciate you sending some my way.

    • Kathryn L Hill profile image

      Kathryn L Hill 2 years ago from LA

      Luv is definately tiring. So is happiness. A little hate, a little depression ahhhh … Misspelliing a word here and there … playing with your kids or dog when you should be working on/in the house ….

      turning off your cell phone, for hours at a time… shutting off your stupid modem for days at a time…. ahhh...

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      lol Still laughing at Bobbi's.

      To me there is nothing like love but it is not the same in all things....but so necessary in all things!

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 2 years ago from Florida

      Hi,

      If I thought about love this much I would need an Advil and a bubble bath.

      Love is a fickle emotion because one day I love him so much the next day he is a real pain---so my love gauge is not registering 100%.

      I love so many things---meaning I favor them, but true love should never be questioned.

      I think I will take that Advil now.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Bill, so good to hear from you. That is so nice of you to dig me out of the trash bin, it was getting lonely in there as I normally do not associate with such rubbish ;-) Well in that I am one you show your brotherly love to all I can say is "keep on truckin".

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      I love the way you think. It's seeing both sides of a problem; it's probing the possibilities. Yes, it's good to love and I suppose we can find something to love in most things, albeit sometimes difficult!

      Gret message.

      Ann

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      love,,,,i love but i dont need it

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Eric,

      You have given us much to ponder here about love. I just know that true love flows freely from one's heart and is never exhausting, as Bill stated, at least not for me. Maybe we all define what true love is a bit differently. When God gives us a new heart, the love flows freely even to those who are at times a bit difficult to love, but that does not mean we do not love.

      I don't think our life's circumstances should have any bearing on whether we are able to love another one or not, even through a serious illness, like cancer. We may not be happy with having to go through such a trial, but it should never limit our capacity to love. We may define our bad moods as not loving, but I think we are taking that scenario out of context.

      I hope we never run out of love ...and maybe that is just a feeling for the need of affirmation of love from others. I love you for just who you are and more importantly so does He!

      Love your perspective on love : )

      Hugs, peace and much love to you and yours this beautiful day,

      Theresa

      Up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

      (I am off from work these past two days because my hubby had minor knee surgery.)

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 2 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Why not love everything all the time full-blast? I see no reason to love this and not that or to love this more than that or with greater intensity. The decision is, what is the most appropriate expression and manifestation of love in this moment's situation? I would need an essay to clarify this.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I found this in the spam folder. Don't take it personally. I'm sure yahoo likes you as much as anyone else. :)

      Love all the time? Not a chance. That would be exhausting. I like to reserve love for the important people and things, and I'm the only one who gets to judge who and what is important enough for love. Makes me rather powerful, don't you think? :)

      Message received, my friend.