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The Perfect Social Situations

Updated on April 16, 2020
Ruth Momodu profile image

Nothing is as nerve-wracking as trying to be sociable when you don't wanna be. So here's what I recently discovered...

Does class influence the way we socialise? Many will agree, favouring the rich people in handling social situations better than the average person. But a research finds that anyone from any level or geographical area can experience difficulties curbing this great fear of being judged and evaluated too.

The following are testimonies from 6 different people within the same age group, but in different social classes. Their names have been forged to protect privacy.


I am 20 and I come from a very humble background. My parents are business people, they try their best to provide for me, my siblings... I can do absolutely anything in this world but eat in public. That's a no for me. Instead of eating in public, I'd rather package the food in cellophane and take it home or not eat there at all. I always get the feeling that eyes are watching me, and because I feel that way, I end up embarrassing myself so bad. But my friends say I'm an extrovert, why should I feel embarrassed? But I always am.


My dad works in Shell company and I just turned 23 last week. It was literally the worst birthday party I've ever been to where the celebrant which is me does nothing but hide in his comfort zone while everyone have a good time. I mean this is a social distancing season. Everyone is supposed to stay in their homes but no, they'd planned a small party for me. I was more afraid of socialising with my own friends and their friends than contracting the virus. I think something may be wrong with me. It's not that I don't want to hang out with them but it's the fear. It has always been the fear.


My aunt is a very very successful person, a big woman. She has been my guardian since my father died in 2001 and my mom joined him the following year. I'm 24 and I work with an NGO providing for orphanages and enlightening youths. But that's the problem... I don't enlighten youths, I only hide behind the curtains while my colleagues do all the talking. I can remember some years ago when I was elected to present a speech concerning abortion and that was the day heavens came down. I was hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was shaking, I was sweating, I was stammering, my audience weren't sure of what I was saying... It was just brutal. I wish only I can stand and say something to a number of people but I can't and that has been my predicament each day.


My heart is beating faster than a drum right now as I speak. I am a very shy person as you can see. I'm 23 years old, I live in the ghetto, street life straight up. But I was lucky enough to go to the university and get a degree in animal science. I believe that my irrational shyness has cost me several opportunities. I feel like I've already fooled myself when you put me in the midst of two or three people. It happens even on phone calls. Whenever I speak to, let's say those customer care agents, I begin to stutter for no reason. My heart rate increases. I confuse my words. It's better I just cut the call. The only reason why I'm here for this talk is because I've been preparing and preparing myself. Almost all of what I'm saying is crammed.


I'm a chronic introvert. I'm not so rich but at least all my education has been in a private school. I think I'm 25 years old. Why I say I 'think' is because I don't want anybody knowing the month I was born in. Like I said I'm an introvert. I purposefully avoid every social situation; I don't go out unless it's really necessary, I skip classes, I bring my outdoor activities inside, I play PS the whole day, you know, it's just how I like to live my life. The other day I couldn't compose myself queing at the ATM. Like an out of body experience just being around those people. It's as if someone is getting prepared to say rude things at you for not doing things sharply. I'm always concious of my environment when I go outside. I can't help it.


The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I tripped and injured myself in senior secondary school and my classmates laughed. From then onwards, I hated associating with people around my age grade. I'm 22 but I feel like I'm 30. I keep my distance from people who are in their early twenties because I always have anxieties when with them. Both my parents are well known teachers. It truely, truely hard being me especially in a social setting where you have people criticising and blaming you, making life seem so unreal to you... I wish I can take back that moment I tripped, it's all.

With this, I must conclude that class doesn't necessarily influence the way we handle our social situations, it only just depends on the context. A socially anxious person is the same whether he be from a different background because innate flaws such as having self-doubts, insecurities, and a sense of unworthiness knows no bounds in any person.


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