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7 Steps to Self-Development

Updated on February 27, 2017
Engelta profile image

Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.

How do you choose to be happy?

When you tilt your head back and smile to the sky, that is the end of hoping, and the glory of being fulfilled.

Hope, this is what makes the world move on. Hope is what Superman had on his heart, as the letter S, because S meant hope in Kripton (the strange planet he came from, if you are not familiar with him).

Hope. One word that manages to carry a soul for an eternity, never being able to stop its longing and sadness of not reaching the one he is searching for. Hope is the thing that never came out from Pandora’s box. Hope is a punishment to the mankind.
However, it is needed. Someone needs to hope for something, so he can move on, so he can remind himself he has something to look forward to.

But, what should someone hope for, so he can not be an unlucky condemned man?
Someone should hope for things that lift his soul up. It does not matter if it is a feeling, or a view, or a phenomenon, or a bungee-jumping séance. It does not really matter what hope is put in, as long as hope makes the world better at living at its best. Hope is the worst word to describe a soul’s torture to hold back tears.

Do not call hoping to carry you on. Find your sorrow and kill it. Find your peace and maintain it. In their deathbed many people said that they were disappointed with themselves. It is heartbreaking to hear this, but it is more when the answer to “Why?” is that only in that final moment of their lives, in the end of their existence, they did understand Happiness is a choice, not destiny, nor life’s gift, as life is never that generous.

Enjoy yourself, entertain yourself. Understand that people and things cannot get you down. Do not get mad when things do not go your way. Do not get mad when one cuts your way. Things will flow, as time makes them go. But, one thing about time. Time does not really heal wounds, you should take care of them yourself.

I bet you have heard the phrase: If you love your job, you will not be working a single day in your life. That is the dream of everyone, but not everyone reaches it. Someone may not even work on his field, or on the profession he dreamed once. Want to become a better version of yourself? Work. Find a way to complete your dream, and begin walking in that direction. Cut loses of strings that keep you attached to people who do not move forward as you do, with people who have only dreamt and do not go for them, or people who do not even have dreams.

You do not need negativity in your life. Live a positive life. Create a “Break or Make” list. Separate it into two columns. In the Break one include people you do not need anymore in your circles. Do not waste time with them, do not waste more than 10 minutes with them, ever again. In the Make side, include people who will inspire you, who will show you the way to success. The ones who will connect you to others, who will reach and help you.

Another thing I would suggest you is helping others. Do not seek only to receive, you have to give first. No one has done it alone. Do not listen to people who say you have to work for yourself and your only self. You ARE already working for yourself by helping others. If you help people, they will help you, and your dreams will get its chances to become real.

Find your peace, and things you love and as Bukowski said “Let them kill you.”
Every day open your eyes and get up off your bed with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen that day. Life is beautiful if you just correct your lenses.
Do not be mean at people. Think it as if it was yourself. How would you feel if someone did that to you? How would you react? You have feelings and pride. They do too. The clever thing is to learn to let go, and to learn to apologize. If you master these two things, you will fall in peace in your relationships.

Trust yourself to be everything you dream to be, everything you want to be. Remember the famous actor Johnny Depp. He has played different roles, so many characters, so many personalities. He is one man, one actor, but has managed to become many persons. How can you do it? You may be a doctor, or a judge, or a banker, or seller, but you can always find the time to fulfill a small part of another dream. Do you love writing, or painting, or singing, or writing songs, or acting? Write a small paragraph, or manage writing articles in a personal blog. Find a blank page and paint. Sing towards people who you want to entertain, or even better, participate in a concurs. Become part of your theater, or file an acting submission form. You never know who may love you.

Wake up in the morning with the thought that particular day can be the best day of your life, the day you will look back to when you will be older.

Do not hold back, do not let other’s judgment hold you back. They either can not reach you, are jealous of you, or want to be you. Either way, do not hold yourself back. Do not think twice about possibilities that come once in a lifetime. No one is really that busy to not find time to do something more, even if it means to take a walk with your child, or the friend you have weeks without talking to. Everyone can find some time in their busy schedule to write something, to paint something, to give a good advice, to listen to someone’s problem, or just how they day was.

Find time for yourself. Time to go to a spa, or have someone massage you. Find time to go, even for a day or two, in a place you have always wanted, or just out of the city to relax.

Do not argue for things that are not under your control. Do not share your problems with people who do not care, or love you, or are not your family. Most of them are curious, and happy you have problems. Do not ever be those people.

No one wants to see a frown, and everyone cheers up and returns a smile. No matter how bad your day was, someone has it worse. No matter how heartbroken you are, there is always something to be happy for. If you can not be inspired, try to curve your lips as you are smiling. It takes only a couple of seconds for your curved lips to turn into a real genuine smile and lift your spirit up. Always manage to show love, and caring, and smile.
In the end, is not everything we do in life, a way to be loved a little more?

The key to happiness

The bad thoughts
The good thoughts you need to replace the bad ones
1 negative thought
3 positive thoughts to beat the 1 bad thought
1 negative thought for your love relationship
5 positive thoughts for a healthy relationship

Are you in a happy place in your life?

See results

© 2014 Engelis

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    • lsmith131 profile image

      Lanecia Smith 8 weeks ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      Nice Article! These are great tips.

    • profile image

      Brigid 2 months ago

      Very beautiful and well written, I needed this inspiration right now. You are wonderful.

    • Ashish Dadgaa profile image

      Ashish Dadgaa 6 months ago

      @Enchi,

      Very nicely written Hub.

    • profile image

      Nyvaeh 2 years ago

      So much info in so few words. Tolosty could learn a lot.

    • Engelta profile image
      Author

      Engelis 3 years ago from Albania

      Thanks :)

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Very uplifting.