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Spiritual Events or Psychosis?

Updated on May 10, 2017

Spiritual Events or Psychosis?

Am I experiencing spiritual events, or is it psychosis?

I don't know.

When it is happening, I certainly believe it is a spiritual event, and not a hallucination. When it's not happening, I am more likely to believe they are hallucinations.

So I am about fifty percent sure I am experiencing spiritual events.

It's always about yoga, chakras, God, religious themes.

At the beginning six years ago, it started when I was doing some pranayama breathing techniques and meditation. About a month after I started these practices, I started getting urges to do and learn as much as I could about yoga. I also started to have synchronicities and see numbers.

I saw 108 first. My iPhone clock was at 109, then while I was looking, it went backwards to 108. I didn't know this was a canonical number at the time. I found this out later.

The universe tried to get me to research the canonical numbers like 108 and 432, but I was too stupid to get it.

So instead it started giving me repetitive numbers. Like 11 11 and 444.

Then I had my first kundalini experience, which I will discuss in a further installment. This experience freaked me out so much I thought I was going crazy. I spent my first stay in a psych ward for ten days.

I didn't like the meds so I quit taking them. I was on and off having symptoms and experiences for three years.

One experience was the most powerful. It was an experience with God. He activated my chakras. I thought he opened them, but I was wrong at the time. They were just activated.

God also showed me all my faults. This episode lasted 8 hours. Most of the time I was in an altered state of consciousness. I knew it was God. Gnosis. Direct spiritual knowledge. This is what cemented my belief in God, and I still believe to this day.

I had started wondering about a month before I started the meditation. I was watching a show about evolution and Darwin's finches. I noticed that each one was just right for it's environment. This is when I started to suspect, as an atheist, that there was a designer.

So are these spiritual experiences or psychosis? In the end, I am never quite sure.



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