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Stress should be a beautiful thing! Trouble is we combine it with worry.
What me worry?
Stress is when we are under pressure to accomplish.
Too much to do.. Yippee! When we have mountains to climb that is stress. We should cause stress in our lives. Worry is an energy drainer and downer. Stress = Good. Worry= bad. I suggest you do not cope with stress but rather deny worry a place in your space.
Stress gets us all worked up, it can even increase adrenaline production. If we focus that on the task at hand, or the many tasks we get charged up. But somehow we are wired to channel a lot of that energy into worry about, well about failure I suppose.
Heck yes I worry.
I am just wired that way. But I do not live in that moment anymore, when I see it or feel it. The problem is that it is sneaky. One moment of ignoring love and gratitude and it will slip right in.
There was a man and a wife. The wife tended to operate a little more hysterical than the husband. The husband loved the wife dearly and loved providing for her. At one point through absolutely no fault of his own, he got laid off. They were already close to month to month finances and the man just worried himself sick for a few days before telling his wife.
When he did tell her, she got upset. And then she just wanted to talk and talk about it.
But the man came to realize that that was OK. It was better than worrying about it alone. And in less than a few hours they had a plan and were looking forward to more success in life. Worry gone. Simply by talking it out -- even though the man did not want to.
Stressed out or worried out
Do you really think it is the stress that is negative
My wife had a rough delivery of my youngest son.
Premature, 5 long hard painful hours of labor. Of course we were all getting "worried". The stress was palpable. We ended up with an emergency c-section because of "stress" on the baby. My wife surely did have a lot of stress. But the doctors and nurses were amazed at her vitals. They remained well within normal range. Mine sure weren't ;-) Pushing and pain and effort and strain and indeed stress -- effected her not one bit vitally.
During a lull - in the action I asked her why she was not even sweating or screaming in pain. She just smiled and said: "I am not worried God will take care for he wants this little boy and for him to have a mother"
After that the decisions I had to make with the medical team and all the commotion of an emergency and a c-section left me stressed but exceedingly excited and happy. What a great lesson that little momma taught me.
One that I had intellectualized and even learned in court and sport competition but one I never really grasped..
You must have known this song was coming
Well now I look back on my failures in life
I jump right into stressful situations. It is like I am a trouble resolver junkie. In fact it is what I do for a living. Probably came from being a risk junkie as a young man. High cliff diving, downhill ski racing, Rock climbing and anything else that was dangerous. But I did not always succeed, or be the best.
That was not being scared that took that edge off it was worry. Worry of failure. I diverted my energy my Chi and my faith away from the task(s) at hand and fed that damned devilish hungry beast called worry. I do not do that so much anymore.
But yesterday I did. In the evening my wife asked the normal question; "honey are you alright, you seem very stressed out" --- Ding Ding Ding Ding the bells went off and I realized that of course I was stressed I was working on a 7 year audit for taxes for a publicly traded company that could get delisted and in major litigation if I did not succeed. But the bells going off was the sound of recognizing worry. I was worried - dang it. How long until I learn. How many times must I run headlong into the brick wall before I get it.
I sat still in my darkened office spent ten minutes breathing deep, the meditated and prayed for the worry to be lifted. And it was gone. And then I concentrated on relieving the stress so my body could be at rest and get recharged for today.
Going on a hike and "crawling the log" relieves worries of life.
Here is a little story about pure stress without worry.
Some time ago my wife picked up a really nice jacket/coat/sweatshirt for my little son. He is 3. Just yesterday he insisted on wearing that coat to school. You see it is a Spiderman coat and his little friends at school covet it.
Well he had worn it several times and it was in dirty clothes to be washed. Not at all dirty by my standards but filthy by his mom's standard.
So she explained that he simply could not wear it today or everyday because it had to get washed from time to time. And you cannot wear the same clothes everyday. What in the heck was she thinking?!
Little boys can wear their favorite clothes every day. Little people have what we refer to as "security blankets". It is up to dad to clean them at night when they are dirty. Well my son got all stressed out. But I assured him that I would talk to his mom and that I would clean the coat so it would be ready the next day, and wash it at night next time.
He was still stressed and his mom got stressed. But neither had to worry about the problem coming back. So we were all happy.
You see the boy will grow out of the coat -- both figuratively and physically. But he does not need to worry about that. And his mom does not need to worry about wearing the same clothes to pre-school as long as they are clean.
The stress got us all to act and learn and grow together. The worry was worthless.
When it is time to rest destress.
Baby, cars get over heated
If you run that engine long and hard enough you have got to stop to refuel, lubricate and let it cool down.
What I talked about here is the positive of stress. But if you do not learn how to work that ignition key into the off position you will burn your motor up.
Recently I had a bad bout with poverty. I live by a creed that is basically "Do not work for a living, work for living". And it includes leaving finances to God. (no that does not mean - do not ask for money for your work or any other ridiculous extrapolation) It means do not worry about it. Well I worried anyhow. And a funny thing happened. When I got rid of the poverty, I caught myself still worrying about it. That is how insidious the worry can be. Of course I got over it, and happily learned from it.
But there are at least 14 billion articles on that and shrinks and meditation and prayer to help you with that. Although I will probably write the 14 billionth and 1 shortly.
Hey baby don't worry be happy