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Stuck at one age group

Updated on March 18, 2012

Introduction

We all have heard it said or have said before "this person acts like such a child!" well after doing some research I have discovered that no matter how old you are it doesn't mean your that age mentally. What I'm talking about is the stages of mental development which is closely linked to behavior. So even the 40 year old could be stuck at mental stage of 16. To better explain how this happens i will give some examples. Mental development has a lot to do with our environment, our social lives, how we cope with emotional problems, and lastly how we deal with and or see ourselves. So for an example someone who had a very tough childhood maybe wiser than there years at a young age but still lacks social skills. Or the guy who has so much going for him in life but lacks the ability to cope with his emotional problems. Now, with that being said how can you find out what your age development is or the people around you? You must be honest with yourself first as you read on, it is not totally a bad thing if your 35 and your development is around the teenage years. There are many personal factors that may have contributed to your development. You can progress than go backwards again. You could be in the middle. This article is not to make anyone feel bad or lower self esteem. In fact, I hope my readers will read this and identify where they are at and use it for your own personal data. So some of you maybe thinking how and hell do i know? Well to be honest, your right, I don't know you but what I can tell you is this is research taken from my behavioral book and translated into simpler words. I personally feel that knowing is half the battle and I know some people have to pay 1000's to have a therapist sit and write down your behaviors then make a judgement privately what age group you are stuck at and give you tools or key goals to build you up from their. All which could take awhile. I want to give you the power to know exactly where your at so you can help yourself privately. So if your curious to know then please read on.

Toddler/Child Stage

This is the stage of development that is one of the most unstable or untapped abilities that can either grow and mature into something helpful. Or it can stay with you at an unstable level and unless addressed it will never grow. So here are some of the characteristics:

1. Unpredictable moods. Meaning that the person may be fine one day and then their whole word has crashed overnight. Or they have constant mood swings that vary based on how they feel at the moment.

2. Self absorbed. This stage in an actually toddler is all about them because they are finding out who they are and what they can do. Who they can trust and what boundaries are. In a person past this stage they always feel it is all about them. Or they play the "victim" because it gets them attention or sends emotions of comfort for them to the other person. They constantly make excuses for their behavior when they are caught. Much like the toddler who got caught taking cookies and blames their sister or the dog.

3. Temper Tantrums. We have all seen at some point the toddlers who throw themselves on the floor or screams loudly to get what they want, This behavior in older person is much like this but slightly different. They will scream at you, or use manipulation, or will become violent, and in worse cases will throw fits of crying. Anything to get your attention and give them what they want right then. They like to have things when asked and when told no they will begin the fits to make you change your mind.

4. Instant gratification. With toddlers that's name of the game and it is the parent/s job to correct that behavior. Although in a person who is older they must have what they want when they want it. They spend lots of money on impulse. They get very upset when they can't get what they want. They don't like to wait for anything and will nag or show other behaviors until they have what they desire. They may even be over eaters but that varies.

I will not list all of the characteristics as it well over 25. I have just taken out the main characteristics that behavioral doctors look for immediately. These are the most common displayed characteristics while the rest may be less. Typically no one will show all 25 characteristics of this stage of development. That's why behavioral doctors look for the first four characteristics. While you can have these characteristics and have some of Adult characteristic traits too they look for a pattern in behavior that is most common. Meaning which traits you display or act upon most often.

Teenage Stage

Let me just say these qualities as they are most common in teenage youth, it does not mean I am saying all teenagers display these characteristics. These characteristics are used by behavioral doctors after observing thousands of teenagers and lots of studies. While not all teenagers show these characteristics they are most dominantly shown among the WHOLE of the teenage youth.

1. Impulsive Behavior. Meaning a person whose judgement is usually decided on impulsive even if they know it is a bad decision. Not being able to resist the urge when put on pressure from others. Or having a serious lack of control when making a judgement.

2. Disrespect for authority. It doesn't mean for police or law completely. It could be the disrespect of someone older than them or a wife. Anyone who tries to tell them something helpful or give them direction. They take direction very hard and usually blow it off.

3. Saying what is on the mind without regard or consideration for others. This characteristic is the person who will use very hurtful words (they may not mean to say it but couldn't help themselves) in almost every dispute with little to no regard for the after effects. They may say they just saw red or they just get so mad.

4. Knows that they must be responsible but blames everyone else for mishaps. They may go to work, pay bills, and try to be responsible. Then when something happens they will blame others. "If we didn't go out like you wanted last night I wouldn't have to pay court fines."

Adult Stage

1. Ability to cope in a decent manner with various situations. Adults realize that things happen, yes it is upsetting at times, but they move past it and focus on improving it. Or leaving it alone if need be. They cope with life by asking for help if need be but owning up to mistakes if they are made.

2. Responsible. Adults know all about giving up what they want to do in order to survive and be responsible. They don't risk a night of fun over paying the light bill. They go to work and cast away the dislike they have for others.

3. Understanding. Adults know that to win or get ahead in life you have to be understanding of others. They listen to others. They give and take.

4. Sacrifice. Adults know they will have to sacrifice at some point. Be it their home, food, or body and money. Although they say no when need be. They can put others before themselves.

Yes this is only some of the main characteristics as i have stated. Behavioral doctors will write down those traits and keep track of how often you use them. I'm not saying that adults are perfect by any means, or all teenagers are bad, or all toddlers have temper tantrums. These characteristics are just the most common out of a scale of 8 to 10.


Final Words

It is very hard to look at our own behavior and realize what development stage we are at. It is typically easier for others to look at us and tell us. Sometimes it confirms what we already thought of ourselves and sometimes because it confirms how "bad" we are. I will tell you that is why behavioral doctors make lots of money. To tell us what we already knew or just are to afraid to face. Even if your 25 and are in the toddler stage it doesn't mean you are "bad" person. Their could be many many reasons for this. It could go all the way back to when you was a toddler. Only you honestly know how you behave. You have to be willing to work on habits and grow the bad ones into something good. It is very hard to get to the adult stage because it is typically not that appealing (or considered boring). Sometimes we float in the middle of adult and teenager. Whatever the case may be isn't good to know? Take control? I hope that you have found my article informative and enjoyed it. Feel free to leave comments at the bottom of the page if you wish. Thank you. :)

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    • jhunpaler profile image

      jhunpaler 5 years ago from Philippines

      Great hub, I wonder what age group I belong, Lolz :p hehehe

    • profile image

      David 13 months ago

      Im stuck between a toddler and a teen.

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