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Surrendering To An Addiction To Alcohol
Surrendering to anything in life is sometimes a struggle, but surrendering to an addiction to alcohol was the hardest for me. I had to leave behind something I grew to love and needed each and everyday of my life for years.
I had to look at my life as it was in the past and how it was when I was addicted to alcohol. It was my crutch. It was my so called best friend and it was the destruction of my life, because i aloud it to be. I was too weak to push my demons away and just say the magic word NO.
My addiction to alcohol got me good and I couldn't go anywhere without my crutch. it made me feel like I was better than everyone else in which now I know I wasn't. I wouldn't go to any functions if there wasn't alcohol served. i drank alone talking to myself and my beer cans. Not a good conversation I might add.
The drunker I got the smarter i thought I was, coming up with so called brilliant ideas of how I was going to live life and be rich and all those things we the alcoholics come up with while being under the influence of alcohol. We think we can conquer anything in life. We think we can solve all problems for our self and the world in fact. We feel so much stronger and powerful with our demons taking control. Nothing can hurt us and we can fight an army of people single handed.
Yeah, alcohol does wonders. We feel like superman and we know everything. We are always right and the rest of the world is dead wrong.
So, as time went by i continued to drink alcohol not thinking of the consequences that may come my way. Thinking of only my addiction and forgetting about my family and my wife. They came in second place with my addiction to alcohol running in first place.
Now sober and thinking of what I had put many people through while I was having a good old time drinking the drink and forgetting or not caring who I was hurting besides slowly killing myself.
I had to think long and hard when I decided to surrender to my addiction to alcohol. I had to be okay with my decision that once i quit drinking I would never be able to touch a alcoholic drink again for the rest of my life. i said to myself, " which is more important, my wife, my family, my health and most important my life or, continue to drink alcohol and lose everything in my life that I adore and love?"
I decided enough is enough and I finally surrendered once and for all to my demons that had complete control of my life and ruining my family that was in harms way everyday. I must say, I never physically hurt anyone, but verbally and just my change of personality while drinking was enough to put them through pure hell for years.
i am so grateful that my wife and family never gave up on me and left because of my drinking, but if something were not done soon it was in the cards that it would happen and I would be a very lonely drunk.
See, if you look at your life, (and you must be sober) while doing so, not buzzed or drunk and figuring you have it all together, because you really don't.
Look at your family and imagine your life without them and never seeing your children again until you are clean and sober if that would ever happen. Look what you have to lose by being stupid and letting an addiction to alcohol control and ruin your life slow but sure. imagine all the great times you can have with your loving family and wife all being sober and being able to remember those fun times with them.
Think of your health and the tons of money you would be able to save from not drinking and abusing your body. You can use that money on your family. Feed your children that you may have neglected because you'd rather feed your demons of alcohol instead.
Come on, you can surrender to your addiction as I did. i never thought I could do it and I did. You will be so proud of yourself as I am right now writing this article. I want to help people understand that there is always hope for your sobriety if and only if you wish to have it back into your life and your families life as well.
You need to get your mindset in place and tell yourself that you don't need this crutch to lean on anymore. You hate your life as it is now and you want to be clean and sober and enjoy life as it should be enjoyed with family and friends and not carry along your bottle everywhere you go.
Make up your mind and just do it. Sobriety will not kill you, but your addiction to alcohol sooner or later will, you can count on it.
Get clean and sober and stay sober and enjoy the ONE AND ONLY LIFE YOU HAVE!
© 2011 Mark Bruno