Surviving without Guilt and feeling left behind trying to heal the wounds of grief after suicide
Dealing with Suicide
Surviving grief requires time. Healing slowly begins over time.
Take that a step further, how can she learn to survive without guilt?
Surviving life is tough enough. When someone commits suicide, a lot of guilt is placed on those left behind.
Surviving without guilt takes courage, support, wisdom and love.
Leave everything on the table.
Do whatever is required to let go of the guilt.
Find support, talk to professional counselors.
The Heavy load of Guilt
Anger is one of the 5 stages of grief.
Processing the pain over the loss of someone you love opens doors of self-doubt. Asking ourselves over and over again, could I have done something? Did I ignore the signs?
We beat ourselves up over what we did or didn't do.
Then in walks the heavy load of guilt.
We blame ourselves for actions that took place. Somehow we believe we are responsible for the action, when in fact, we are not responsible. Anything we did or didn't do is not the reason they chose to end their life.
The first several weeks are the most difficult. We relive every conversation we had. Did we say something wrong? Did we give them a reason to lose hope? Maybe we were aware of their suffering and didn't realize how bad they felt.
We question everything.
Everyone has a choice but we are not accountable for them. We are only responsible for our own actions, our thoughts, our lives.
We cannot blame ourselves for what someone chooses to do. Maybe we did something that caused them hurt. Maybe we said something that made them feel unloved. Whether we said or did something is irrelevant.
Ultimately they chose the path of destruction, we did not.
Recovering from grief is a process.
The Pain is Heavy
In the Wake of Storms
Guilt Left Behind in Grief
It's a silent grief.
No one wants to talk about it. Maybe they are ashamed or maybe they feel lost. People don't know what to say. Depending how close they were to the person who committed suicide, each person feels some sort of guilt.
When friends and family don't know what to say, they sometimes pull back. They may be at a loss for words and don't know how to respond.
The survivor can simply explain that all they need is a friend.
The pain is heavy. The load of guilt carries a lot of weight. Compile that with the pain of grief and the hurt is tremendous. The loss, the emptiness takes its toll.
With questions unanswered, the silent grief bites the heart. Guilt climbs up and chokes the inside.
This is not the time to tell someone to get over it. Or say, you did the best you could.
Consuming grief is overwhelming. Suicide grief is relentless.
There is no responsibility or control when it comes to suicide.
Find support. Seek good council. Talk to family, friends and others who are going through the same thing. God designed the family to support one another.
Join a Grief Support Group. Many local churches provide this type of support. Sharing your pain and loss with others strengthens your healing.
Suicide is a disease of the mind. It doesn't make sense. Depression is dark and a serious condition. It should not be taken lightly.
In the wake of all that is loss, the future looks bleak. However survivors of grief can find support. When everyone goes home, and the survivors are left all alone to fight the demons, where will they find true healing?
The true source of healing can be found in Jesus. When you are on your knees, look up to the Heavenly Father, He will be your Great Comforter.
Depend on God. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
God gave His son to die for you. He chose the nails to bear. His heart weeps with you.
Find healing in His word. Call upon Him to lift you out of the darkness.
- Pray for your loved one.
- Pray for your family.
- Pray for your healing.
- Pray for your sadness.
- Pray for His love to wrap around you.
He already knows everything you are feeling.
- God listens!
- God hears!
- God answers the calls of the afflicted.
He is ready to be your Savior. All you have to do is ask.
The Lord help you to bow your spirit in submission to the divine will ere you fall asleep this night, that waking with tomorrow's sun, you may go forth to the day's cross with the holy and submissive spirit which becomes a follower of the Crucified. – Charles Spurgeon