Swallowing My Big Girl Pill
The idea of growing older really is a difficult thing to swallow. Sometimes you just outgrow things and then it's time to just move on. I recently hit my 25th birthday and I was devastated. I don't often hear many people mentioning a quarter life crisis, but that is what it feels like. Yup.... a quarter life crisis. A lot of things have changed over the past few years and I never really felt like I lived my life the way I wanted. I had just decided to kind of take it as it came, fly by the seat of my pants as it were. I realize now that may not have been the best of ideas at the time, and there are things I wish were different, but for the most part I experienced things I wouldn't have otherwise.
Growing up and growing older really are two different things. When you grow older you have another year added to your life. Growing up is a requirement that comes with age. You are EXPECTED to act a certain way therefore that's how it will be. I have never really been able to come to terms with that idea, I still think of the Toys 'R' Us theme song in my head at times, which is surprising when I think about how much I had to hear it everyday while I worked there. The idea of growing up is a hard pill to swallow because sometimes no matter how hard you try you realize you aren't ready. It's like forever being unprepared for a pop quiz, and there's nothing you can do...
That is really what it feels like you have to do... understand. Without understanding where you are in life you really can't figure out what to do next. I have lots of things I realize I must do before I feel like my life will be in order, I need to swallow my big girl pill and get it over with. Sometimes you have to make yourself have no choice in the matter before you can allow yourself room for change.
Be the Change
Finding what you need to change in your own life shouldn't be a tough fix. Most of the time these things are pretty obvious, or at least mine are. You need to make a list... seems oddly easy enough, right? Make yourself a plan... start out small and do a one month plan, what do you want to accomplish in the next month? The work your way up, and make a 1 year plan. What MAJOR goals do you need to accomplish in the next year? Then do the big daddy, and write yourself up a 5 year plan. Make it realistic, but also set your standards high. You don't want to shortchange yourself either. Allowing yourself to have big dreams gives you a reason to try harder. You think perhaps you want to add something to this list but are not sure about whether you can? Make a pros and cons list about the subject matter in question. It will come to you eventually. Besides, what's life without a little risk, anyway?
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi