THE DEVASTATION LINGERS ON (continued from Twins to the End)
Years after the death of the twins Su-jong was still in denial of what had happen. You see this was such a unbelievable event that part of her mind refused to deal with reality. Mike did all he could to help his wife come to terms about their daughters absence. He gave her all the love he could, he gave her the best medical help he could find but she still refuse to accept the truth.
Shortly after her return home from a mental health hospital she began to come to grips with the sadden and horrifying truth. Once she processed everything it was as if the tragedy had just happened yesterday but when in fact it has been more than five years. Again she cried for days but soon gathered her thoughts and her strength and fell into the protection of Mikes arms once again. He was immediately elated with this for he knew that the woman he had married was back.
After a few months things were getting back to normal. Mike resumed work while his wife found soleace in her faith and early cultural upbringing.
Su-jong had known for many months before the death of her girls that ther was a serious problem with Staci. However she never pressed the issue with her to talk about it. fThis is another reson why Su-jong felt such guilt when Staci and Tracee died. She felt as if she would have been more aggressive on the matter things may have turned out different. So for the next few days she read evrything she could find on violence against women, dealing with death and even attended group meeting with battered women.
All references and dicussions told her that this was not her fault. That the person to blame for her not having her girls was Wes, who was tuck away in prison some where she knew not where.
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Mike and Su-jong began going to meetings for parents of murdered children, helping out at battered women shelters and once in a while speaking to groups about their experience. This was very therapeutic for them but deep inside the loss still lingered.
Su-jong also felt that due to he passive and timid background she failed to protect her daughter. Mike felt like he was not the man he should of been when he found out about the abuse. His guilt was eating him up too. Once again they began to drift apart.
They decided that if they were able to visit Wes maybe they could get some closure.
A month later they traveled to Muncie Prison in Indiana. The prison was nothing like they had imagined it to be, it was much nicer.The conversations between the prisoners seem to bounce and echo off the stone wall. Fear began to set into Su-jong and she wanted to tun around and run out of there, but she steadied herself and pressed on. Mike felt only anger and wanted to punch something, better yet someone. As he walked down the hall he kept flexing his fists as held them at his sides and mumbling curse words under his breath. As they sat down at the metal table they glance at each other with a tense smile.
After what seemed like hours Wes was escorted in. He wore a oversize orange jumpsuit and was now bald. His complexion was drastically ashen and he was now walking with a limp to his left leg. Both Mike and Su-jong could not believe how much Wes had changed. He barely looked like the same person that was a part of their daughters life. As he sat down he lowered his eyes to the floor before greeting them softly.
Wes was very uncomfortable being in the presence of Staci's parents.He felt so bad about what he had done and all that dominoed because of his insane jealousy. He couldn't image how they must feel losing their children, let alone how they must hate him and wish him dead for his crime. Knowing this only made it harder for Wes to say what he wanted to say to them for years and to express what he was feeling, but he knew that it had to be done now for he may never get another opportunity.
Wes did his best to let them know how much he regretted what he did, how much he loved Staci, and how much pain and sorrow he held in his heart for them. They could only nod as to saying they understood for they felt he was sincere and remorseful for his actions.
It was unbearable at times for them all. There were moments of silence that gave each a chance to either reminisce or to wonder why. They all shed tears of sorrow, tears of anger and tears of regret. Soon the conversation got lighter and was filled with more of "remember when" times of the twins. They talked right up till the time visitors were asked to leave and Wes was led away by a guard.
It was at this moment that Mike and Su-jong knew they had what they needed to move on in life. As they left the prison they left the burden of guilt there and with this they seem to walk lighter, walk taller, walk freely. Together they walked into a peaceful life.
ABUSE CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE
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