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Tearful goodbye

Updated on December 4, 2011

Grieving

Goodbye my friend!

There are days that will stay with us for the rest of our lives residing in our memory. Some are good and some are very sad. I have vivid memories of saying final goodbyes to my mom and dad. I still remember to this day when I kneeled at my mother's coffin now 21 years ago the feelings I had as the tears welled up as I tried to be strong and hold them back. It is never easy saying goodbye to a loved one who has passed away. The same feelings I had for my mom were felt when I knelt at my dad's coffin and said my final goodbye. Though I was much older I still cried like a baby for my beloved father as I did for my beloved mother.

Today was another sad day as I had to face saying goodbye for the final time for a very close friend who was a tremendous influence in my life. There are people who come into your life and touch it immediately. I have had many friends throughout my life but many have come and gone as time passed but for my friend Moises it was very different. Although we had not seen each other in a while he was a truly special friend to me and he was always asking me how I was doing and he had a sincere interest in my son's situation. When I worked with Moises it was a professional relationship and he was always very accommodating and would show his dedication and loyalty. As time went on that professional relationship continued and it led to a very meaningful friendship as well. We talked about our families and we shared stories of our children. You could see how much Moises loved his wife and precious little baby girl. He was so devoted to them and you knew he was so happy. He had a laugh that was contagious. It was genuine and heartfelt and when you engaged Moises in conversation he listened. He truly listened and he was there as only a true friend could be. Moises was a very special friend and I knew that from the beginning when I first met him. He had a way about him that just made you like him. He was genuine and sincere always.

As I sat and listened to family and friends talk of Moises I realized what I knew all along that he touched everyone who came into his life. He was a devoted son, a devoted brother, a devoted husband, a devoted father, a devoted employee and a devoted friend. You could sense the warmth and love emanating from his family, his friends and all who attended his service. It was very emotional and I could not help but shed some tears for my friend who has gone to a higher place. Moises was called by God because of his gentleness and his kindness. We are happy for him for he surely will go to Heaven but we miss him dearly and I feel so sad for his wife and baby girl who must live their lives without him in their lives. It is heartbreaking and words can not express the pain and sadness I feel for his family.

When Pamela, his wife spoke I could not help but cry as I felt the pain and sorrow she expressed as she praised her husband, the father to their little girl. As I learned today Pamela and Moises were meant to be with each other having met in nursery school. They were only 4 years old when they first met and they forged a friendship from that day forward. It truly is a wonderful love story with a very sad ending. Moises died way too soon and he will not have the opportunity of sharing life's special moments with his wife and daughter now and that makes me feel very sad. He will not see his daughter go on to college and marry. I know he will be there in spirit though and he will always look over his wife and daughter protecting them and inspiring them.

I learned many things today about my friend as I listened to his younger brothers speak of him. You could see how much he meant to them and how they both looked up to him. They loved him as he loved them and you could see how tight knit they were. It is always nice to hear family speak so lovingly as they grieve. It touches your heart and makes you proud. I embraced Moise's brothers, his mom and dad and his wife as I tried to offer some words to console them. My heart is truly hurting as I feel the loss too. It is something we all have to learn to deal with. Losing a close friend at such a young age makes you start to take stock of your own life and it brings you a step closer to realizing your own mortality.

I tried to search for reasons why it was my friend's time especially now with such a young daughter. Life was so perfect the way it was for the three of them. Why did it have to come to this? No one really knows why. All I can say is that things happen and we have no control over them. Whatever will be will be the future is not for us to see. Those are special words in a song and they ring loud and clear. I visited yesterday to pay my last respects and I attended the service today. Last night I was thinking of little Phoebe and what is going on in her mind. She was very close to her daddy and he was very close to her. I felt so very sad for her and I felt I had to do something nice to try to make a little girl feel like a kid still though she was facing a very sad tragedy. My friend Moises was always concerned for my son who is on the autistic spectrum and suffers from epilepsy. He and Pamela would always do something very special by buying him his most favorite thing in the whole wide world, Sponge Bob dvds and toys. As I was leaving the service today I left a plush pillow pet and some dvd's I felt would bring a much needed smile to her face. I made sure the funeral director would see that Pamela would receive the little gifts for her precious baby girl.

As I left the service for my friend I felt uplifted and I felt the service was beautiful and it captured what Moises was all about. I will miss my friend very much and I will keep the memories of him fresh in my mind. I pray for his wife and daughter and for his family to be comforted at this very sad and difficult time. Moises would want his family and friends to live their lives and to just cherish the times shared but not to feel sad or to lose hope. He would want them to carry on as usual. That was Moises. He was one of a kind and he will be missed very much.

May he rest in peace.

God Bless him and his family.

Edward D. Iannielli III

The lighthouse-Child grieving

Candle in the window

Wind beneath my wings - Beaches

Comments

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    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      6 years ago from london

      Thank you for sharing. I send you my love and comforting thoughts. Look for Desiderata on line and Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep. They are both inspirational poems, and if you have not read them, they will help. http://www.businessballs.com/desideratapoem.htm

    • Grams Study profile image

      Grams Study 

      6 years ago

      A beautiful tribute

    • rjsadowski profile image

      rjsadowski 

      6 years ago

      A beautiful tribute to a dear friend. As we grow old our memories fade. The everyday events tend to blur and all that remains is a series of Love Poems and Sad Stories.

    • ediann profile imageAUTHOR

      ediann 

      7 years ago

      thank you so much for your beautiful words. it really touched me and i am feeling sad for the loss of my friend and i wanted to express what a great friend he was. he will be missed by his family and his friends. my heart goes out to his wife and baby girl.

    • profile image

      femmeflashpoint 

      7 years ago

      Ediann - this is such a sad but beautiful hub.

      I'm a mortician, though not a practicing one, at least not full time. But, over the years, I've heard many eulogies. And, I think many of us wonder what others will say of us when we're no longer here.

      What you've said of your friend describes him as a beautiful soul, who was a blessing to others and a rich facet of all the lives he touched.

      I'm sorry for your loss, but happy you got to cross paths and bond with him while he was here.

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