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Ten Reasons Why You May Wish You had Died In Ignorance

Updated on June 11, 2012

Ignorance is bliss in the afterlife

1. According to the medical profession, the five most reliable methods of diagnosing death are:

  • Pouring freezing water in your ear (should provoke an eye movement in the living
  • Poking something into your eye ( testing the corneal reflex)
  • Poking something down your throat (testing the gag reflex)
  • Grinding knuckles into your sternum (testing pain reflex)
  • Squeezing your testicles

If none of these techniques elicits a response, you are probably deceased.

2. A corpse left above ground in warm weather will be reduced to a skeleton in about nine days. The rate varies, because fat people decompose more quickly than thin people: The extra flab contains body heat ,which speeds up the bacterial process that breaks down body tissue.

3. As your corpse dissolves, your skin color may change from green to purple, to black. Rigor Mortis starts in your feet and travels upwards.

4. Embalmers uses Superglue to prevent your mouth from falling open. A coating of softened wax is also applied to both the upper and lower lip to prevent cracking and flaking.

Cute Death in Neil Gaiman's Sandman

5 To avoid any possibility of insects entering your body via your nose, your nostrils are deeply packed with cotton wool that is saturated with a liquid insecticide.

6. The putrefaction process releases gases that can make the body swell to two to three times its normal size in twelve to eighteen hours, and the pressure of accumulating methane can cause internal organs to be forced out of the lower orifices.Elbams always check your abdominal and thoracic regions for any signs of distension or a bloating.caused by gaseous buildup ,then relieve pressure by opening an anal vent.

7. Fingernails and hair do not continue to grow after death, this myth arose the illusion created by skin retracting around the hair and nails,which makes them stand up and stick out more prominently.

Crematoriums similar to the ones during Hitler's time
Crematoriums similar to the ones during Hitler's time

8. Until the 1950s ,coffins were hardly ever made to measure.If your body didn't fit your coffin ,the undertaker would normally break your ankles and bend your feet back.

9. The cremated remains of most adults will weigh between 2.5 and 8 pounds. The difference is due to bone size, not live weight.

10. Because of the high water content of the average human adult, cremation is tricky even with modern furnaces. Modern Crematoriums are equipped with electrically operated crushing machines designed to pulverize unburnt bones. In some undeveloped countries, however, bodies are first wrapped in layers of animal fat to aid combustion. In India, many families can' t afford enough fuel to do the job properly, and half burned bodies are often thrown into a river


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  • jolinabetts profile image

    Sunshine Diaz 5 years ago from Wichita, Kansas

    Thank you very much, its about time i started writing :) i've been a fan and a lurker and a reader of Hubpages. Thank for the nice reception..

  • CrisSp profile image

    CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

    What an interesting hub and what a way to diagnose and confirm death. I'm sure squeezing the testicles would be very effective for men. Lol! (: Welcome to HP! I look forward to reading more from you.

  • jolinabetts profile image

    Sunshine Diaz 5 years ago from Wichita, Kansas

    Thank you :) i'm not in the medical field but really just the thought of them gagging me just to make sure i'm dead...umm ha ha ha.

  • Vampsdes profile image

    Vampsdes 5 years ago from Missouri, US

    In the medical field, the sternal rub is used frequently to check for a pain response. In fact, if the person doesn't answer to verbal stimuli or a few shakes, I generally go right for a sternal rub to find how responsive the person is, if at all. I've never seen the other methods used to check for death, but I imagine they would be very accurate!

    I didn't know most of these, I'm not sure I really wanted to know most of these things ha ha! Nevertheless it was interesting, voted up!