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Ten Ways to Overcome Your Anger

Updated on November 13, 2009

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It consumes all your energy, your mind, as well as your strength. Because of that, anger can give rise to several negative feelings and events which could have been avoided had the anger been controlled effectively.

When not properly checked, anger can lead to verbal onslaught, physical conflicts. But how do you deal with your anger? How can you control its fire from consuming you?

I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to dealing with anger. And I am also guilty of allowing this strong emotion to get the better of me from time to time. But as most of us know by now, being consumed by anger is not a pleasant experience, and could even result in worse scenarios. That is why we need to control our anger instead of letting it control us.

But again how do we do that?

After a thorough dissection of the essence and origins of anger, I have come up with a few pointers on how to deal with anger effectively. I’m warning you though, that although these tips may sound basically simple, they can be difficult to carry out. But believe you me, they are absolutely effective. Remember each pointer listed here so that the next time you find yourself seething with anger, you can come out of it with flying colors.

So here are the 10 simple steps to take when anger strikes you:

1. Hold your tongue, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

That’s very basic, right? But these acts simply lay the ground works for successful dealing with your anger. As you refrain from speaking, no more angry words will come out; and as you keep your eyes closed, you get to divert your mind from the one causing your anger.

I know you’d agree that taking a few deep breaths can ease the impact of anger on your emotions. As you breathe slowly and deeply, you get to release the stress caused by the pent up emotions giving rise to your anger.

2. Identify the cause of your anger.

You may say this is irrelevant, but do you know that a lot of times we don’t even know the reason why we are angry in the first place? Often times our anger stems from various factors that have piled up reaching our anger threshold. Identifying the real cause of your anger therefore is key to overcoming it.

3. If possible, go to a park.

That’s right; a lazy stroll in the park is great when you’re angry. Feast your eyes on verdant landscapes and lovely flowers. Delight in the cool breeze and let it sooth your beleaguered emotions. Watch the children play and allow yourself to be carried to your happy childhood days.

4. Hum or belt out a song.

You need not go to a karaoke bar nor be a singer to do that. Simply hum or sing any song you could remember. But inspiring, uplifting and comforting songs would be best. You could do it with your eyes closed if you feel like it. The melody and lyrics of the song could help relax your senses.

5. Take a shower or draw a bath and go to sleep.

A shower can be very refreshing and can help cool your seething emotions down. A bath filled with relaxing oils like lavender is even better to help dispel your anger. For best results, you may listen to your favorite music as you linger in your soothing bath.

Many people find going to sleep quite an effective method in overcoming anger. Sleep is a powerful stress-buster; so it can certainly help you calm down and control your anger.

6. Talk to a close friend or a relative.

If you need to talk, then talk with a friend. But be sure to talk with someone who does not try to fan your anger, as it can be disastrous. Instead, seek a friend or a relative whom you know to be sensible, fair, wise and willing to listen to your tirade if necessary.

7. Read inspiring verses from the Bible.

The Bible is given by God to help His people deal with everything life has to offer – including anger. You’ll find that God’s view and advice on anger is totally different from ours. But these are also the best among all other views and methods of dealing with anger. His words offer peace and wisdom, if you allow faith to guide you.

8. Engage in your favorite hobby.

Engaging in an activity that interests and delights you provides a way for a productive release of your fraught emotions. It enables you to divert your focus from your anger into the demands of the task at hand. Many people find baking and coking to be therapeutic; while others find release by exercising or playing their favorite sport. Reading, writing, and crafting are also great anger-busting activities. Engaging in your favorite hobby is not only effective but also a productive way of dealing with your anger.

9. Watch a movie.

I know some people who go to cinemas when something is infuriating them. Perhaps the best choice would be a comedy film to make you laugh, venting out your irate feelings. You may also choose to watch a film at home, or simply turn on the television to your favorite show. The main idea is merely to divert your attention from your anger so that no harm can come from it.

10. Clean or redecorate your room.

You heard me right. If there is a better time to clean your room or even your entire house, it's when you are mad at something. Your irate emotions are very active and aggressive, so they give you the kind of energy needed to clean or reinvent your room. Your focus will no longer be turned to your emotions but to the demanding task of putting your things in order and in redesigning your room.

The secret to overcoming anger lies not in one’s age or experience. You may be young, but you may be more efficient in dealing with anger than your parent. In fact, children are known to have the ability to deal with anger more constructively than many adults. Maybe because of the simplicity of their thoughts and emotions, kids can afford to be more objective when it comes to their anger. But adults, who have experienced the harshest blows in life, are likely to have a subjective view on their emotions, making them prone to the harmful consequences of uncontrolled anger.

What do you do to control your anger?

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    • Pamela-anne profile image

      Pamela-anne 5 years ago from Miller Lake

      I too am a Christian woman and my anger is something I am presently struggling with; I appreciate the suggestions I will try some that I haven't tried yet thanks and keep the good hubs coming!

    • profile image

      5 years ago

      I was so mad at my sister earlyer this week. I was about to throw my cell phone at her and smash hers against a wall, but then I remembered these tips and we talked about it an now we r buds again! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

    • profile image

      raymond rozario 6 years ago

      this was an awesome writeup!!!

    • profile image

      sam 7 years ago


    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 7 years ago from Wales

      Thank you for sharing this hub. Well written and on a subject that will interest many also. I have only just found you on here and I am now looking forward to reading some more.

      Take care and God Bless Melody.

    • profile image

      Shirley Cress Dudley 7 years ago

      Hi Melody,

      Your article is well written. I discovered it while researching for a client.

      Do you write articles for others? If so, email me directly-

      Have a wonderful day!


    • Melody Lagrimas profile image

      Melody Lagrimas 8 years ago from Philippines

      Trsmd, thank you so much for that lovely comment. You're welcome too.

      Pastor_Walt, am so glad to have one more Christian friend here. Thanks you very much for dropping by and for leaving that woderful comment. ANd of course for becoming a fan. Will take a look at your hubs too. God bless you more.

    • Pastor_Walt profile image

      Pastor_Walt 8 years ago from Jefferson City, Tennessee

      A great hub with great advice. Anger management is a duty of every Christian. So many witnesses are diminished by lack of control. Great words of counsel. Thumbs up from a new fan!

    • Trsmd profile image

      Trsmd 8 years ago from India

      Hai Melody,

      really unexpected tips from you regarding controlling anger.. nice hub..

      and thanks for posting your comment in..

    • Melody Lagrimas profile image

      Melody Lagrimas 8 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks a lot, Peggy.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Good pointers Melody. We all have occasions to be angry but knowing how to constructively deal with that anger can be very helpful.

    • Melody Lagrimas profile image

      Melody Lagrimas 8 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you very much for pointing that out, R Burow, I was trying to put around 10 choices but it was so late already, so am gonna add it.

      daianacharles, thanks a lot too for sharing that.

    • dianacharles profile image

      dianacharles 8 years ago from India

      Great ideas. I usually just walk away till I can compose myself to talk without screaming and sounding like a harridan. :P

    • R Burow profile image

      R Burow 8 years ago from Florida, United States


      Great article, but I could not vote. You left out option number 7. Reading the words from the Bible would be my choice. Thanks.

    • Melody Lagrimas profile image

      Melody Lagrimas 8 years ago from Philippines

      Tanks, anglnwu, I also have to remind myself of these pointers.

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 8 years ago

      Good ideas for taming the fury of anger--seemingly easy pointers but very hard to carry out when you're in the thick of it. What do I do when I angry? I yell but like you say--it's not good, so I try to remember your suggestions the next time I'm fuming.