The Aftermath Of The Narcissist (NPD)
In the same way that the term 'malignant self love' can actually be quite deceiving leading many people into believing that narcissists are simply vein and big-headed people, narcissists are also just as deceiving as the term itself leaving many people completely oblivious of their true destructive nature.
Friends and family of narcissists who have stayed close to them throughout their lives remain fooled by the angelic facade that they present and wholly believe that such seemingly good, honest and caring people deserve their respect despite what few mistakes they may have made throughout their lives. The narcissist knows otherwise. If their friends and family were to discover the real amount of damage that they'd caused, anyone who tried to confront them would most certainly feel their wrath. It would be shocking, potentially devastating.
Covert or stealth narcissists leave a secret trail of damage behind them everywhere they go in life yet this trail remains invisible to their close family and friends. These family and friends will most likely be the only real friends that the narcissist has left by the time they reach about 40. Malignant narcissism is a disorder that develops from a very early age and is therefore highly unlikely to develop in someone who has reached adolescence.
Overt narcissists are less cautious about revealing their secrets and openly display their narcissistic behaviour. Although friends and family may pick up on this the narcissist generally uses shock tactics and large volumes of alcohol as an excuse for being out of control, they claim that they didn't know what they were doing. However, after one-night stands and on irregular occasions they continue to have affairs in secret with as minimal an amount of people knowing about it as possible.
They may even blackmail anyone who finds out into keeping quiet and may disguise the affairs by committing them on special occasions when people would least suspect it including Valentine's Day or while their partner is attending a funeral. If their partner was to accuse them of sleeping with someone else while they were at a funeral the claim would seem outrageous and the narcissist would use the accusation to convince everyone around them that their partner is paranoid.
Narcissists commonly damage relationships, marriages and families with their lies, cheating, and deceit secretly using distortion campaigns to destroy their victims reputation without the victim even being aware of it. They act promiscuous and sleep with people they 'bump into' in life that they know are not going to stick around forever.
People who won't be there in the future to reveal their secrets, people that they can use as a source of narcissistic supply. This often leads to their victims personal lives, reputations, jobs and even marriages falling apart yet the only people aware of the real abuser are the victims whilst the narcissists close family and friends remain fooled their false exterior. This can go on for decades.
Anyone that has remained in a relationship with a narcissist for a long period of time is also sure to have had their reputation, friendships, relationships and identity destroyed by cleverly plotted distortion campaigns so that the narcissist can continue to get away with their perverted behavior doing whatever they want and using and manipulating anyone around them whilst successfully playing the victim.
Narcissists fabricate and develop stories over time that can be used to divert the blame onto other people for damages caused in the past who would never suspect them of their lies or false accusations.
- eBook by this author out now: Know Your Enemy: Reflections Of NPD