The Anger Lives
Just a place where people live.
Where is the anger within you?
Stay with us here as we set a basis for understanding. Science is quite clear in this area. They are entirely certain that our brain is the part of our body that deals with our emotions including anger. There have been numerous studies that have used imaging to capture the areas of the brain that are most active or inactive when the emotion of anger is present. Here are some areas of the brain that have been identified with emotions in general and anger specifically: amygdala, insula, limbic system, mesencephalic, prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate gyrus, basal ganglia, temporal lobes and several more.
They study these areas activities while providing stimuli to the subject and note increases and decreases in activity in these areas. It is all very scientific.
Not so fast. This is a frontier. The studies are all over the place with contradictions, inconsistencies and hypothesis. What we do know is that the brain reacts to certain perceptions. In a direct straightforward analysis science is not really clear on what causes anger. But we know it exists. It would be a leap of faith to say that certain brain activity causes anger. And we know that certain perceptions cause different brain activity in different folks and in the same folks at different times.
Where we are at is this; John knows what "makes" John angry. And that is perhaps one of the greatest lies ever told.
Go get a peaceful easy feeling.
Sometimes it is just time to walk away.
The young boy.
"Daddy, why does mommy get angry?" "Son, come here and give me a hug" "Can you listen with love in your heart now?" "Yes daddy". "Your mom gets angry because she chooses to get angry". "Why would she do that?". "Because she was taught to become angry". "Why would anyone teach mommy to be angry?". "Because they did not know any better". "Will you teach me to be angry?" "Sure". "Just think bad thoughts and make yourself get all agitated and focus on someone or something". "Daddy I don't like that feeling". "Well then son, choose not to be angry". "But what if I feel it". "Then figure out why and, remember your feelings are your own, first you must know them and then you can change them". "Daddy do you mean like when I change my mind and want to play a different game?" "Exactly".
Now there must be really good anger management programs out there. I just wish that they would take the dude who came up with that term out back and flog him. What in the hell are they thinking. Manage anger? Really now? Then it would not be anger would it? "A controlled/managed feeling of angst directed at someone or something." We are not machines. Perhaps what they mean is managing our actions when we feel anger. So why don't they say it?
We do not manage our emotions. We choose to feel them or not. They are there. If we do not recognize them and make a conscious choice to go down that road or not we are at their whim. Emotions are not controlled by an on/off switch. And they are not managed by learned behavior. Our emotions are not some wild bronco that we can "break" and tame and then control with a gentle pull of the reins.
It is important to see the subtle distinction between choosing not to feel something and moving on and feeling it and trying to control it. Now the good news about both concepts is that they both require us to recognize it, know it and then deal with it. No matter what we have got to recognize and acknowledge our emotions in order to lead happy, healthy productive lives. Anger probably is more powerful than we are.
Before we go further, here is the point where we acknowledge that anger lives. Anger is more than a simple or complex synopses between two firing mechanisms in our brain. If we go back and look at the scientific explanation it leaves something vital out. In the big picture that electrical type function in our brain is caused by something. In me it might be caused by something different than in you - well in fact it most certainly is to a degree. We can state with certainty that our life experiences create what causes anger. In other words not the something but rather how we perceive that something. So in order to get to anger we have - the perception - the anger - and the processing. We really need to understand what is absent. Another person. Anger is not caused by another person. Joe cannot make Eric angry. Eric is in control of the perception, the anger and how he processes it.
Or Eric is not in control of himself.
I cannot control the clouds.
The more I think I know the less I understand. Forgiveness?
Anger exists in the danged air. Just like love. It is a force of reality that is not real at all. But it lives. Let me tell you straight out anger is a power. It has it's own wickedness and threat to well being. So change that - anger is real. No it is not!
And so that brings us to another conversation with the boy. He asked if spirits were real. So first we had to get an understanding that we were not talking about the ghosts on Scooby Doo, That those were fun just for entertainment and scary stuff, Of course the obligatory sheet came out and I chased him around for a bit, how fun. With that out of the way we got down to business. If you just stand still and ask for love to fill you up, does it happen? Yes of course it does if you really open up and want it. Where does that love come from? Well it is just there in the air waiting for you to call upon it and fill you up. It is real. You can feel it. Your feelings are real and you can feel them. And so it is what we call the spirit of love that really exists. In our home we understand that we do not understand the Holy Mysteries but that the Holy Spirit is real when we choose to be filled. So we already have a concept of a Spirit.
Now is anger real? Yes. You can feel it. It can even make you sick in both your mind and your body. It exists but you cannot touch it or see it or smell it or hear it. Is there a spirit of anger? Go ahead and call it what you will but if you choose to let it in, it will come in. It will consume you. It is more powerful than you and you cannot control it. No one causes it to come in except you.
Now go hang up that gaudy pink and blue neon sign. You know the one. The one that says "No Vacancy" make it a flashing one. And mean it. Fill your rooms with love and do not answer the bell when anger comes knocking. See it, know it and tell it that it is not welcome in your home.
How about you?
Do you have a vacancy that anger can fill?
This was convoluted so let us kind of conclude.
Certain things make certain people very angry. But they do not make other people angry. So we know that we have a choice. We can let people, places or situations make us angry or we can choose not to let that happen. Other people do not control that choice, they simply cannot. So when we say we are angry at someone that is really a load of garbage and lying to ourselves. Anger is alive and all around us, going from person to person and having a life of it's own. It is in essence a spirit. We do not have to let that spirit inside of us.
If you have a vacancy inside you be very aware of it. Do not let anger fill it for it will not be satisfied and will take the place of all contentment and good in you. It is a hungry beast looking for a host.
Anger lives, where it lives it up to you.