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The Anger Lives

Updated on September 17, 2015

Just a place where people live.

The entry into a neighborhood where sometimes anger can be found.
The entry into a neighborhood where sometimes anger can be found. | Source

Where is the anger within you?

Stay with us here as we set a basis for understanding. Science is quite clear in this area. They are entirely certain that our brain is the part of our body that deals with our emotions including anger. There have been numerous studies that have used imaging to capture the areas of the brain that are most active or inactive when the emotion of anger is present. Here are some areas of the brain that have been identified with emotions in general and anger specifically: amygdala, insula, limbic system, mesencephalic, prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate gyrus, basal ganglia, temporal lobes and several more.

They study these areas activities while providing stimuli to the subject and note increases and decreases in activity in these areas. It is all very scientific.

Not so fast. This is a frontier. The studies are all over the place with contradictions, inconsistencies and hypothesis. What we do know is that the brain reacts to certain perceptions. In a direct straightforward analysis science is not really clear on what causes anger. But we know it exists. It would be a leap of faith to say that certain brain activity causes anger. And we know that certain perceptions cause different brain activity in different folks and in the same folks at different times.

Where we are at is this; John knows what "makes" John angry. And that is perhaps one of the greatest lies ever told.

Go get a peaceful easy feeling.

Sometimes it is just time to walk away.

When the water runs too red it is darned hard to drink. This is why it is called the Colorado.
When the water runs too red it is darned hard to drink. This is why it is called the Colorado. | Source

The young boy.

"Daddy, why does mommy get angry?" "Son, come here and give me a hug" "Can you listen with love in your heart now?" "Yes daddy". "Your mom gets angry because she chooses to get angry". "Why would she do that?". "Because she was taught to become angry". "Why would anyone teach mommy to be angry?". "Because they did not know any better". "Will you teach me to be angry?" "Sure". "Just think bad thoughts and make yourself get all agitated and focus on someone or something". "Daddy I don't like that feeling". "Well then son, choose not to be angry". "But what if I feel it". "Then figure out why and, remember your feelings are your own, first you must know them and then you can change them". "Daddy do you mean like when I change my mind and want to play a different game?" "Exactly".

Anger Management?

Now there must be really good anger management programs out there. I just wish that they would take the dude who came up with that term out back and flog him. What in the hell are they thinking. Manage anger? Really now? Then it would not be anger would it? "A controlled/managed feeling of angst directed at someone or something." We are not machines. Perhaps what they mean is managing our actions when we feel anger. So why don't they say it?

We do not manage our emotions. We choose to feel them or not. They are there. If we do not recognize them and make a conscious choice to go down that road or not we are at their whim. Emotions are not controlled by an on/off switch. And they are not managed by learned behavior. Our emotions are not some wild bronco that we can "break" and tame and then control with a gentle pull of the reins.

It is important to see the subtle distinction between choosing not to feel something and moving on and feeling it and trying to control it. Now the good news about both concepts is that they both require us to recognize it, know it and then deal with it. No matter what we have got to recognize and acknowledge our emotions in order to lead happy, healthy productive lives. Anger probably is more powerful than we are.

Before we go further, here is the point where we acknowledge that anger lives. Anger is more than a simple or complex synopses between two firing mechanisms in our brain. If we go back and look at the scientific explanation it leaves something vital out. In the big picture that electrical type function in our brain is caused by something. In me it might be caused by something different than in you - well in fact it most certainly is to a degree. We can state with certainty that our life experiences create what causes anger. In other words not the something but rather how we perceive that something. So in order to get to anger we have - the perception - the anger - and the processing. We really need to understand what is absent. Another person. Anger is not caused by another person. Joe cannot make Eric angry. Eric is in control of the perception, the anger and how he processes it.

Or Eric is not in control of himself.

I cannot control the clouds.

But I can control the storm within.
But I can control the storm within. | Source

The more I think I know the less I understand. Forgiveness?

No Vacancy!

Anger exists in the danged air. Just like love. It is a force of reality that is not real at all. But it lives. Let me tell you straight out anger is a power. It has it's own wickedness and threat to well being. So change that - anger is real. No it is not!

And so that brings us to another conversation with the boy. He asked if spirits were real. So first we had to get an understanding that we were not talking about the ghosts on Scooby Doo, That those were fun just for entertainment and scary stuff, Of course the obligatory sheet came out and I chased him around for a bit, how fun. With that out of the way we got down to business. If you just stand still and ask for love to fill you up, does it happen? Yes of course it does if you really open up and want it. Where does that love come from? Well it is just there in the air waiting for you to call upon it and fill you up. It is real. You can feel it. Your feelings are real and you can feel them. And so it is what we call the spirit of love that really exists. In our home we understand that we do not understand the Holy Mysteries but that the Holy Spirit is real when we choose to be filled. So we already have a concept of a Spirit.

Now is anger real? Yes. You can feel it. It can even make you sick in both your mind and your body. It exists but you cannot touch it or see it or smell it or hear it. Is there a spirit of anger? Go ahead and call it what you will but if you choose to let it in, it will come in. It will consume you. It is more powerful than you and you cannot control it. No one causes it to come in except you.

Now go hang up that gaudy pink and blue neon sign. You know the one. The one that says "No Vacancy" make it a flashing one. And mean it. Fill your rooms with love and do not answer the bell when anger comes knocking. See it, know it and tell it that it is not welcome in your home.

How about you?

Do you have a vacancy that anger can fill?

See results

This was convoluted so let us kind of conclude.

Certain things make certain people very angry. But they do not make other people angry. So we know that we have a choice. We can let people, places or situations make us angry or we can choose not to let that happen. Other people do not control that choice, they simply cannot. So when we say we are angry at someone that is really a load of garbage and lying to ourselves. Anger is alive and all around us, going from person to person and having a life of it's own. It is in essence a spirit. We do not have to let that spirit inside of us.

If you have a vacancy inside you be very aware of it. Do not let anger fill it for it will not be satisfied and will take the place of all contentment and good in you. It is a hungry beast looking for a host.

Anger lives, where it lives it up to you.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 24 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sujaya, I respectfully disagree. We need a self that is in order.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 24 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lawrence, there is a very strange reality. I talk to myself. I love myself and sometimes I loathe myself. What the heck are there two or more of me? Even if we just say they are independent facets of me it is weird. We have to talk about separate parts of us in order to understand but is that the reality?

      Ouch in my head that is just too heavy.

    • sujaya venkatesh profile image

      sujaya venkatesh 24 months ago

      need self-control

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 24 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Eric

      Awesome stuff! I was reading sime stuff recently by some scientists who were also christians that said the brain is no more than a conduit for our personality! That it can and does work as the intermediary between the physical world and our emotions! Our emotions are controlled by our soul and that's who we really are or choose to be!

      Great stuff here and the sign is out (with another that says 'Do NOT REMOVE!)

      Lawrence

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      And sorry back at you for taking so long to respond Ann. I got lost in your article on mindfulness and decided that it was a fine place to get lost and stayed there for awhile. I like to think of the "why" as two whys. The big Why is about what I can learn from a person, place or circumstance and the little why is about why it made me angry. Being aware is our greatest weapon against anger and apathy, either of which will kill us.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Sorry it's taken me a while to get round to this one, Eric.

      Strange that I should read it today because I've just finished a hub which includes the concept of 'mindfulness', being aware of who we are inside, aware of others and aware of the world. That kind of goes with being aware of why we feel angry, doesn't it? If we know why, we can push it away and replace it with something caring instead.

      Great hub, well explained with the examples of your son.

      Ann

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Judy, thank you for coming by and leaving a note. That is a very interesting comment. I suppose I have a tendency to whitewash the truth in order to keep the snarls at bay. Probably a defective practice. Much to think about. Thank you.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 2 years ago from California

      The vacancy comes and goes. I keep filling it with truth and the snarly anger sneaks back.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Patricia, Good to hear from you.

      If we stay on top of it anger loses and we win. It is kind of like finding our way in the woods. Once we know the path that leads to some serenity we can usually find our way home again.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      You are so right...we do NOT have to have that spirit within us.

      I was just having a conversation with someone the other day about anger..they were struggling with an anger issue...and this is how I handle it and shared it for the person to mull over...

      having anger allows someone or something to have power over us. I choose not to allow anyone or anything to have that power. However that does not mean that that niggling feeling does not sneak in from time to time; it just means that I recognize it for what it is and choose to walk away.

      It has take a lot of years for me to get to this place, admittedly.

      Well done Eric

      Shared g+ pinned and tweeted

      Angels are on the way to you this evening ps

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Rolly it is great to hear from you, I so enjoyed travelling with you on the wind this morning. Your fireside is a treat not to be missed.

      These kinds of articles are brutal. To write them I must take a good hard look at the subject. Anger is tough, inviting it in to have a chat and reach some understanding is not so pleasant. I need a good cleanse.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 2 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Eric... great article which has taken much time on your part. If the heart is filled with love, anger has no room. Fill your mind with the positive and anger is driven from your life.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Mary,

      I wonder on that "easy" part. Surely if we try to accomplish it by sheer force of will it is really hard to do. But if we can let go and let love, then not so hard. Now that does not really help an old bone head like me, because it is so darned hard to let go and let love.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Blossom,

      One of the things that has convinced me that we really continue to grow in our twenties is anger. It just does not seem to leave us in general until later. Somehow we just let it in as a child and then it takes years to get it out. There must be a natural reason for that.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora,

      You hit on a wonderful mystery of life, at least to me. We know that the best road to follow is a surrender to God. A complete surrender. But in order to do that we - WE - have to make that choice to turn it over. And we have to do that on a continuing daily basis. It is the balance of free will and yet turning over that will to God. I do not need to understand it, I know it.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Denise,

      I remember that as a child being youngest of six I basically had no choices. I had not thought about this for awhile. It took me 40 years to get used to and start making choices consciously. I am hoping in another 10 years or so to start making good choices. I will write on this concept today. Thank you.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Clive,

      What an interesting comment to leave. Of course it leaves me to ask: Why?

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dana,

      That strange power that anger has over us, if we let it in, can be overwhelming. It reminds me that if we can be compassionate toward a meek sufferer, we should also find that compassion for a person suffering anger.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      So well said Eric. If we leave that opening, anger moves in. It is so easy to be angry, but with a little effort we can push it away and fill ourselves with that love and understanding we so need. Easy? Certainly not, but it can be done.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 2 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      As a youngster I used to get very angry at lots of things, but the older I get the more peaceful life becomes. I like being old and I like your very helpful hub. God bless you for writing it.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      This article brings to mind Psalm 91: 3 which promises that God will rescue us from every trap. I think anger is one of those traps; we walk into it, but we can walk out again, if we choose to be rescued. Though you did not spell it out, I can read through the lines that we need supernatural help to avoid succumbing to it. Thanks for this very valuable message.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      What an interesting way to look at anger! The person who is angry, however, does not understand this concept. Having been in those shoes before, I blamed my anger on everything and everyone around me. It was their fault I was angry! I knew it was wrong to the point that it drove me to the brink of taking my own life. It was not until I entered the mental health unit and learned that my emotions were the result of my thoughts that I was able to realize that I could, indeed, choose not to be angry. Until we learn this important principle, anger will continue to live in us!

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      i am so angry

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Marlene,

      Thank you much for coming by and lending your thoughts. I think we make progress every time we slow down and think about it. And if we make some progress that is a big deal.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ruby,

      I remember getting so angry at my brother because he was not upset that I was angry at him. He is a great big guy and he just patted my head and told me not to worry that I would get over it. I think I will call him right now and thank him again.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John, you clearly are "full up" with the good things in life. And that is so refreshing.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill,

      I have a fun twist on that. A Karate instructor taught me to always be the one who accepts fault for a problem. Because then you can always choose to fix the problem. Still to deep for me.

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 2 years ago from LOS ANGELES

      NO VACANCY ) Very profound. I would get angry over many things, mostly things I felt were not right. Then I realized it took a lot of energy- too much energy. You are right it is a spirit, a controlling spirit and we must rebuke it and choose love instead. It is easier said than done and must be practiced. The "spirit" of anger will consume and destroy you if it's not controlled.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 2 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Your commentary on this subject is spot on. The first time I heard the term, "Anger Management", I had not realized it was something tangible, like clay that could be molded into something other than anger. I learned that it is "alive" but it can be tamed much like we teach a dog to roll over, jump, and bark on command. We can change our anger into love and we can make our anger go away. It's our choice.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I learned just recently that being angry only hurt me. The person I was angry with was unaware of my anger, therefore she was a happy camper. Lesson learned..

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      NO VACANCY! thanks for sharing this very profound hub Eric

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great analysis of a human condition. In AA my sponsor taught me a long time ago that I can choose to be angry or I can choose to love. They are both within my capabilities each day....and you know what? He was right...and so are you, my friend. Sorry I'm late to the party.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very funny as I was just losing the battle. We try, we fall, we get up again and try again.

      But this is supposed to be unpublished until I get a problem worked out - hmm, --- count to ten Eric.

    • justthemessenger profile image

      James C Moore 2 years ago from The Great Midwest

      You're spot on. However, to choose or not choose anger is easier said than done.