- Mental Health»
- Personality Disorders
The Art Of Beating A Narcissist At Their Own Game
When No Contact Is Not An Option
People who are dependent on or incapable of immediately cutting off contact with a narcissist may feel stuck, vulnerable and helpless.
Narcissists are referred to as "emotional vampires" because they arouse and feed on negative human emotions. Some victims of narcissistic abuse don't realize what is going on. They cannot understand why someone would intentionally toy with them. Narcissists target sensitive, empathetic people because those who feel empathy cannot relate to those who do not.
The most rational advice to someone who is exposed to mistreatment from a narcissist is simple: "Get Away!"
However, the solution is not always this simple for people in this predicament. Examples of situations in which a person cannot always just pick up and leave include employment settings, marriage, minors living at home, disabled people who are physically dependent on a narcissist or certain family relationships. In most circumstances, there is a way out with enough effort, but cutting off contact may take some time and planning.
Get Educated On Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Know thine enemy, know thyself...
Part I: Know Thine Enemy:
If you suspect you are being targeted by a narcissist and you want to learn how to "beat" a narcissist at their own game(s), first things first: get to know who, or shall I say, what you are dealing with.
Research narcissism as much as you can. Learn what the traits are and what their common patterns are. Get to know the enemy! Accept who you are dealing with. They will not change. They are incapable, because they will never accept that something is wrong with them. You cannot educate them and help them.
Great sources about narcissistic personality disorder:
Part II: Know Thyself
After researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder, if you believe you are dealing with a narcissist, move on to research narcissistic abuse. If you identify with the symptoms, find others to identify with. There are forums, YouTube channels, Facebook pages with others who have and who are suffering from narcissistic abuse. Find support, even if the only support you can find is online. If possible, find a therapist. If you were abused by a narcissist, you may also have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, especially if you were abused as a child.
Narcissistic abuse resources:
Should You Confront The Narcissist?
After learning more about how narcissists operate, identifying with others who have experienced similar treatment and realizing what the problem is, you may feel tempted to confront the narcissist. Before doing this, first consider what you hope to gain and then consider what the risks are. Can you completely cut off contact or will you risk shaking up your life a great deal? Is it worth it to confront them?
If not, next consider how you will maintain contact and work to gain peace despite having to interact with the narcissist.
Some techniques that will help you defend against the narcissist and regain control:
1.) Remember that you are not dealing with someone who operates on compassion and decency. Therefore, you will need to put a wall up around them. Do not let them in. Do not trust them. At the same time, don't stoop to their level by compromising your values or doing anything that would go against your internal beliefs.
2.) Narcissists want to feel better by getting a reaction. Don't give it to them. Now that you know what they are, you know they do what they do to disturb and upset you. Don't give them your emotion. One of two things will happen. They will either leave you alone and move on to the next target or they will dig their own grave. No matter what, don't give them your emotion.