Are You a Grown Woman?
Who Am I?
This is one of the most important questions every woman faces in her life. The answer frames every decision she makes.
Everyone carries insecurity. But girls and women struggle with identity in a way that is not defined by accomplishments, family, money, or beauty.
All of these things make up identity yes, but it is the question of self.
If self has been abused or neglected, the question manifests in quiet and sometimes not so quiet desperation.
When a woman reaches certain milestones in her life, she wonders if she measures up to society's standards.
She asks herself - have I arrived or have I missed the mark? Have I settled for less? Put up with too much? Made too many mistakes? Been a victim for too long? Been too mean? Too Nice?
The ability of a woman to self-assess means recognizing the source of her broken places. Then do the work to enter into true womanhood.
Low Self-Esteem: The Beauty Blocker
How many women have low self-esteem?
In my experience, we do not see certain behavior as symptoms of low self-esteem. The ways it can show up are as complex as women are.
We are vulnerable in this world if not fiercely protected. Little girls are princesses who become big girls, and then women.
Each stage need attention, affection, and validation.
A confident, whole and happy woman received the message that she is enough. She has everything she needs to stand next to anyone and shine.
The woman who suffers with low-self esteem or emotional damage struggles to understand her worth.
She is trapped in the "little girl" stage of emotional development desperately seeking acceptance.
A national study done by dosomething.org determined that seven out of 10 girls believe that they do not measure up in their looks, relationships, and school performance.
This is a shocking statistic. It is a rite of passage to go through stages of awkward insecurity. But many girls are emotionally held back well into their adult years.
The same study by dosomething.org determined that teen girls #1 wish was for "more frequent and open conversation" with their parents.
The connection is clear. Self-identity begins at home. It is there where we are set up for our experiences in life.
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Rebirth Into Womanhood
How does a woman begin to heal and how does she know she is healed?
As one who suffered from low self-esteem in my young life, I allowed others' opinion of me, keep me from shining. I did not know who I was.
Learning to stand in my truth was a long, painful process. I wanted to be happy-to love myself and to see myself as those who truly loved me saw me.
I wanted to be great. I wanted to know my purpose. I no longer wanted to live or die by anyone's approval but my own-through the eyes of God.
I realized my wounds were festering and wreaking havoc on my present and my future.
It was through prayer for wholeness that I began to see my brokenness. I wanted a change.
Once I saw my beauty as well as my ugliness, I came into my own. I accepted my beauty and worked on my ugliness.
Forgiving others was also important to moving forward. Not for their freedom, but my freedom.
When your thoughts about yourself are healthy, you are freed from the need impress other people.
I fiercely protect my self-esteem against anyone who attempts to bring me down by knowing, without any doubt, who I am.
When a woman struts with a confidence, there is nothing that can keep her from her purpose.
The female spirit is born with wings that can soar to limitless heights.
When it soars, it has the power to nurture, to heal, to comfort, to uplift, and to inspire.
- When women begin to truly embrace and love themselves, they will realize the sanctity of the female gender and elevate the next generation.