The Boy Teacher and the Father Student 12 (Home From School Early. Parkland Shooting)
Need To Hold
The Craziest Thing
I have to go get the boy early from school. It makes no sense at all. I just need to hold him. I need him to be safe with me. A school shooting almost a continent away. Praying is just not cutting the pie for me. I will just assume he will not know what is wrong with dad. I will assume he knows nothing of the tragedy in Florida. We will be consumed by the fun of school today and all the stuff he learned or did with his buddies and girl friends.We have a little rain today. We will jump in puddles and wash our face looking up at the sky.
We will sing a song or two and we will do our tap dancing. Dinner will be great tonight. And yes he will get extra dessert. We will brush our teeth and go to bed early and giggle away. But when I put him in his bed I will just lay there and hear his breathing and be comforted by the life that lays ahead for him. Reading a story or three will take on new meaning. Holding his hand will be a special delivery of love.
I will not sleep much. I will stay up and look at drawings of his and other art and notes. I will cherish his Legos and smell his clothes.
I will weap.
Now it is time to go get him. Let us see what lessons he can teach us about an abundant life without knowing horror.
The Day The Music Died
What Was I Thinking?
So Do You Feel Safe?
F: Son do you feel safe at school?
B: Always, except when we do fire drills.
F: Have you ever felt scared at school?
B: No, we have all the adults to take care of us.
F: Why do you feel unsafe when you do fire drills?
B: I don't know, maybe because a fire is scary.
F: Do you know why I picked you up early?
B: No but you sure hugged me tight.
F: When you talked to mom on the phone was she upset I picked you up early?
B: No dad she sounded happy we were home and playing in the rain. But I do not get it, she usually gets upset when we play out in the rain. Seemed like she was happy we were home.
F: Sorry son, I hope you feel safe here at home with me.
B: Dad you are asking silly questions, are you OK?
F: No I am not, I hope that is OK for you.
B: You just make we wonder what is going on in that tiny little brain of yours.
F: Hey that is my line!
B: Give me another hug, you seem like you need it.
F: Ten four and roger on that my little soldier.
F: Hey buddy do you mind if I keep secrets from you?
B: Dad I do not want to hear bad stuff, especially when I have candy to eat on Valentine's day.
F: So life just boils down to how much candy you have?
B: Not always but for today yes.
Worry, Worry and More Worry. I Can't Help It.
One Second is Too Much To Miss
Dad Are You Going Away Again?
F: Son why are you getting all worried?
B: Because of you dad.
F: What do you mean?
B: When your eyes get all red like that it means you are crying but you are a tough guy so when you cry it means something bad happened.
F: Do you know why we do not have live TV?
B: All my friends do and they tell me bad stuff that happens. Really dad it is yucky, I do not want to see it.
F: Reporting truth is important.
B: My teacher Ms. Nguyen told me there are bad truths.
F: We have each other and that is the natural absolute truth.
B: But what if we didn't anymore?
F: Maybe I am not strong enough for that.
B: I am dad.