The Boy Teacher and the Father Student; 24 Bring It On Dad
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Solutions Are Often Out Of Place.
Now gather ‘round all of you and hear a tale true. For if you age this tale could be about you. Nothing fancy or clairvoyant this will be. Just a tale of love and life that you will see. I tell you true not to miss a word of what I say. For in good hope it will be your story one blissful day.
So we get older. And even if we do not have children of our own, those we know turn into adults. And of course in the more micro they change from babies into amazing children. When I giggle about it I say that I am suffering my children.
So you expect a boy here. But we must stir the pot. This is the elder daughter. Sometimes my children throw me easy pitches so I can knock them out of the park. Especially my daughters clearly like to stroke my ego. Perhaps it is just because they love me?
D: Dad you are so frustrating sometimes. Don’t you realize I do not want an answer or solution I just want to vent and I do not care what you think of me I know you always love me.
F: Now you know I learned that years ago from your mother. And I told you to be honest to that feeling and vent away. But when it is about me, maybe you should vent on another.
D: See! You are so irritating. Why don’t you just talk like normal people and say “don’t vent on me about me”.
F: I do not cotton illiteracy.
D: Again Dad you talk like a novel, instead of having a conversation. Could you just shut up and listen?
F: My bad and I get it.
D: Did you ever think that I don’t want your advice sometimes. It is like you do not ever talk with your emotions. You really got screwed by Mike and you do not fight back. You sue people for a living and yet you do not ever sue someone for yourself.
F: I gave up trial work decades ago, you know that. I lost the zeal of having to be right. And trial work is for young men and women anyways. I like to think I speak with love.
D: Dad, love is not an emotion it is a state of grace – as you so often ramble on about.
F: Did you know that using a man’s words against him makes him accountable in an awkward way?
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D: It seems to me that awkward is appropriate for a hypocrite.
D: So you do not get angry and stand up for your rights. That is totally aggravating, Mike is wrong and you should kick his ass. And do not tell me that you appreciate that when you are wrong folks do not kick your ass. Because they do. You are just too blind to see it or too lame to care.
F: Can I just listen without making the fancy retort that you already know?
I think the song goes something like this and I will play it for you above. I have spent so much time on the road from Seoul to Berlin to Mexico City to Melbourne and around and about again from Anchorage to Mayorca. So those of us who are on the road must have a code. “Fathers teach you daughters well their father’s hell”
Perhaps I wear some of my hell on my sleeve. I have accompanied human death and I have seen what certainly could be called hell on earth, from North Africa “killing fields” to malnutrition death in the slums of São Paulo. Some of those creases in and around my eyes are fully sadness made. But is it right to infect our children with their father’s hell.
This is my youngest daughter years ago. I don’t remember much internet or cell phones back then. I think I had them for work but that was the business I was in.
D: Dad this is so cool that you make time to walk on the beach with me every Tuesday lunch with my extra hour.
F: Oh no Ms. Student Body President daughter who is about to go on full scholarship to Berkeley. It is my duty to steer you right. Alright stop laughing it is infectious like your smile.
D: Dad I want one of your long boring stories because I am truly bothered by a hypothetical mom and her husband. He is really strange and not a good person.
F: I cannot speak ill of your stepfather. It would be crass and a shade gossipy.
D: Stop being so correct and tell me how to feel about it. And I said a hypothetical, not real.
F: May I be aloof and not a part of it but a sounding board for your own feelings, which I assume is a combination of frustration and sadness mixed with disrespect.
D: Dad I love you, you know me so well.
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F: Honey we cry on the same puppy commercials. It is not my role as dad but best buddies. So here I go. Love and infatuation are kind of different as infatuation can go south. Love never can, we just forget it sometimes.
D: What about agape toward your children?
F: Do not interrupt as I am about to get on a roll here.
F: Let us assume this hypothetical stepfather is fully messed up. He clearly has some PTSD issues from 30 plus years ago. You remember “Whale” who killed himself. Well my right leg is significantly shorter than my left and I am very very right handed as my left is near dysfunction. I do not rip off that of me that is defective. See where I am going?
D: Not a clue. I gather you are getting to members of a family. Screwed up or not they are still members. And that does not translate into how someone feels about someone.
D: And how about that leg? We are walking 3 miles and I know when you were young you were a pro athlete. So how come?
F: It is embarrassing, and I would not like to talk about it. But suffice it to say, I am kind of stupid. Nobody ever told me I was defective. So I just did not know.
If you play the life game of love there really is no place inside you for hate. But it would seem that sometimes hate just is. Probably not for a group of people. Although hating whale murderers on a industrial scale is probably justified.
On the one hand it is nice to be made important to a loved one. It is a pleasure when they let you help. On the other hand the best help you can give is shut up and listen keeping your darned old thoughts to yourself.
Take It As You Can!
We needed to go to Cimmoron NM. And then up to Buffalo ND. And then over to Seattle Town and then into the great Yellowstone. The cops took our GTO somewhere just south of KC. Thumbs got us everywhere. We were lucky the pot did not get us hard labor so the car was a good swap. Danny and I cooked for forest fire fighter Hot Shots that would drop in in parachutes. We always beat semis in.
Any how this song reminds me of the good days of freezing our butts off and being hungry on the road. Bless you for the work you do.