ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Children Within

Updated on December 28, 2012

The Child Within

By Tony DeLorger © 2011

It’s what every child knows and what every adult has forgotten: the world is a place of discovery, of wonder and every thought and dream can come true if you want it to. Kids are not naive; they just haven’t learned how to be negative, to be overwhelmed by it until they become untrusting and cynical. What’s worse, kids are now forced to grow up too quickly, become responsible for their lives too early, while their parents chase financial security. In summary, kids just can’t be kids any more and their unique perspective on reality is being lost to not only them but to we adults as a consequence.

You’ve no doubt heard the adage ‘the Child Within’. Called the ‘Divine Child’ by Carl Jung and the ‘Child Within‘ by Charles Whitfield; it refers to that part of us that is alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled. It is our Authentic or Real Self that is developed by firstly our parents and then by society. When the inner child is not allowed to be heard and is not nurtured by love and understanding, a false, co-dependant self emerges. Then, in growing up, if there are unresolved mental traumas, these can accumulate into chronic anxiety, fear, confusion, emptiness and unhappiness.

Without recognising the inner child from the start of life, children become co-dependant, and from troubled families can develop chronic mental illness, rigidity and coldness. Even if children are not abused or mistreated it is believed that only about 20% of children have been loved and guided in healthy ways. That is a staggering statistic; it means 80% of children did not receive what they need to learn how to establish healthy and loving relationships with others and themselves.

But there are ways of opening to and connecting to the child within and to heal past issues and nurture for the future. There are many Inner Children, each with their own characteristics that have developed because of mistreatment and negative experience. These children are fragments of the inner self and need a voice to express their fears and to find peace.

Hear are some example of the Inner Children you may discover.

The Playful Child

This is the self that is playful, spontaneous and fun loving. This child longs to play and many of us as adults can’t do that without guilt or anxiety and will only do what we see as worthwhile.

The Spoiled Child

This is the self that throws a tantrum if it doesn’t get what it wants, now.

The Neglected Child

This is the self that was always left alone, without nurturing and love. This self doesn’t know how to love and feels unlovable. They are depressed and want to cry.

The Abandoned Child

This self is abandoned through divorce or adoption or left alone while parents work. They continually fear abandonment. This self is lonely and requires constant attention and reassurance.

The Fearful Child

This self was criticised as a child and they are anxious and panic a lot. They need lots of encouragement and positivity.

The Discounted Child

This self was mostly ignored and treated as though they didn’t exist. They have no self-belief and need lots of love and support.

You may strike other inner children depending on your background and experience, but there are therapies and processes that can heal all these issues. Remember these words...

‘It is never too late to have a happy childhood’

That’s right; all this damage can be healed through a process of inner dialogue with these inner children. The process is begun in many ways like drawing pictures or with roles playing and methods of hypnosis, allowing each inner child to be heard and each past issue to be dealt with. Once there is dialogue there can be connection and the healing process begins. An example of how the process is used is, you will have an Inner Parent within, that you can ask to cuddle or support when a child is crying to be heard. You will also have an inner Critic, which you will have to consciously learn to silence to connect with each child. There are many symbolic actions that a therapist will use to connect to these traumatised childen within.

I know it sounds a bit wacky, but these simple processes allow you to confront and release these suffering inner children (which represent each aspect of past treatment and trauma). There are many books on this subject and many therapists that can guide you on your journey of healing. If you recognise these aspects of your true self then there is a way to resolve these dark feelings and inadequacies.

In conclusion, the Inner Child is one of the most important aspects of our true selves to understand. It is the root of much of our fears and stumbling blocks to self-love and happiness.

The above article is written succinctly for the purpose of this article but the subject is complex. However, the opportunity is there for you to address these issues and move forward with confidence. This process can have a miraculous affect on your life.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      My pleasure fucsia. Find that child within, your authentic self and dream away.

    • fucsia profile image


      7 years ago

      This is the right day to read this hub: I feel tired and sad. But.... "every thought and dream can come true if you want it to". I have an entire world to discovery and to enjoy! Thanks

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      We could all do with that, RB

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 

      7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Your right it is interesting. I've always thought my inner child was the playful one. I'm working on dragging her to the light of day more often.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks Kim, and interesting subject.

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 

      7 years ago

      Great hub, Tony. I like how you acknowledge that it "sounds a bit wacky" and at the same time really validate the process of recovery and inner self work. Those Healing the Child Within workbooks below look interesting. Thanks for the summary and for identifying some inner children.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)