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The Day Death Changed Me pt 2

Updated on September 29, 2011

Physical Recovery

My recovery was more than pain it was like dying slowely in agony and misery.

The first day at the hospital I realized pain relievers would be my new best friend and that I would grow to hate every nurse in the world . I watched them scrub concrete off of my raw skin so many times and each time it seemed like it was only getting worse. I would cry and beg for mercy in hopes that one of them would show sympathy and stop the process of pain , though the only person that seemed to show any was my dad.

I watched him as he watched me. I wanted to be strong to show him I would be alright , but I knew better than that . My father was in no way prepared for this. I saw it in his eyes. He wanted to cry . To cry with and for me ,but he was stronger than me and knew that he couldn't show his weakness, not even now, not when I needed him the most.

I don't remember being released from the hospital that night or even the ride home. I'm not even sure how I was able to get from my fathers car to my bed, but I do remember waking up in the middle of that night.

I was in pain, so much pain .My skin was stuck to my bed, I couldnt move any part of my body . I was scared. I screamed and yelled and couldn't remember why I was covered in bandages and splints. I only knew that I needed help and I couldn't get up to get it .

This is my left arm . It was one of the worst injuries.
This is my left arm . It was one of the worst injuries.

The next few weeks were filled with bed rest, hospital visits, cleaning bandages, and scrubbing my skin. I couldn't take a shower ,no matter how hard I would try or how many pills I would take, the pain was just to much. I would have to give myself sponge baths and rip my wounds open trying to clean them . It adventualy got to where I would refuse to let anyone touch me .I was so tired of it . I was in misery. Twice a day I would have my skin tortured and when the bandages would stick I would have to rip them off of my skin thread by thread. It was to much for me. I couldnt wait to just be healed and free.

I was alone most of the time left to fight it on my own, but every once in a while a friend would visit. I would beg for them to help me out of my bed and take me away. To take me anywhere but there. Knowing that I was on bed rest, many would say no; however, the best friends said yes. Was it dangerous ? Yes. Careless? of course. Immature? Oh yea, but above all it was worth it . Getting me out of my house was just like saving me. It gave me time to feel alive again. It took me away from my pain. If only for a moment.

This recovery didn't just test me , it tested my friendships and my friends loyalty. I will be telling you all about my test in the coming chapter "Mental Recovery".

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read about my recovery .Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what your thinking.



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    • Darknlovely3436 profile image

      Annie 6 years ago from NewYork

      To cry with and for me ,but he was stronger than me and knew that he couldn't show his weakness, not even now, not when I needed him the most. love how you remember, this is such a wonderful story. i hope that you much better now

      one Love Annie

    • profile image

      JadedLove 6 years ago

      I voted up and beautiful. Beautiful because you are speaking out in a painful nightmare so tragic that I find empathy for you. So much you have gone through in such a time and so much more shall you face. Thank you for sharing such a time as this. Light and love always,


    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 6 years ago from Australia

      Again I can feel your pain. I feel also the pain your father endured in feeling so helpless seeing his beautiful daughter lying before him in agony. I too saw my son before me at the hospital, damaged beyond repair. These are painful memories for me, but reading your story helps as it imparts your thoughts and experience, lessons learnt and your courage and endurance. Thank you again for sharing. I hope you find that writing of your survival provides you with strength to heal physically and mentally. I look forward to reading more from you.

    • Cloverleaf profile image

      Cloverleaf 6 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

      Hi Silent Sinner,

      When I read the first part of your story I didn't realize it wasn't fictional. I had no idea that it was yourself who endured this horrible experience. Even though this must have been a terrible ordeal I'm quite convinced that you have become a stronger person because of it. I'm so glad you are sharing your story here on HubPages.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Wow, I'm so sorry you have had to endure all of this. I'm sure there are many lessons of life that your experience can help guide others. Thanks for sharing.

    • Silent Sinner profile image

      Silent Sinner 6 years ago

      I would love to agree with you on the brave part; however, I'm not sure i can. Half the time I was screaming and crying like a little girl.

      But thank you.

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 6 years ago from Texas

      You are a brave young lady. I think that it's good that you are sharing these experiences. I see honesty in what you are saying. I truly believe that writing about it will bring more healing. Best wishes and waiting for more.