ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Dementors Are Out To Get Me!

Updated on April 15, 2010


A recent weekend of watching mind numbing television program found me landed on a Harry Potter movie marathon. For those of you who know nothing about this series of books or movies you obviously have been living under a rock or are one of those, “I’m not interested in anything that everyone else is interested in” type of people. Okay, so the Dementors in the Harry Potter books and movies are the ones who guard the wizard prison. They’re cloaked figures that sort of look like flying grim reapers. The thing about the Dementors is that not only can they apply the Dementor’s kiss (which sucks your very soul right out of your body) but when they’re even flying anywhere around you, they suck all the joy out of life or as one of the characters who encounters the Dementors puts it, “I felt like I would never be joyful again.” Well, I hear you. Although I can’t see them, I’m now convinced that the Dementors are out to get me! – Don’t Get Me Started!

I’ve never been one of those people who play the victim. What’s more I can’t stand anyone else who tries to play the victim. The whole, “Poor me, look what’s happened to me, I don’t deserve this.” And in some cases it’s followed up with, “I’m giving my problems to Jesus.” Well, I don’t know all that much about Jesus but it seems to me that people are just expecting way too much from this guy that died about a billion years ago for your sins. (Notice I say your sins and not mine because I’m pretty sure that Jesus doesn’t want anything to do with my sins, contrary to the people who would try to convince me otherwise and honestly I feel pretty free of sin on the whole or at least sin as it’s categorized by the Jesus groupies.) The thing is that anyone who plays the victim is also a real drag to be around (and I’m not talking in a fake eyelashes and wig sort of way). Who wants to listen or read someone else’s whining?

That said the Scott pity party is about to commence. I’m going to go completely against everything you just read. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It’s not that I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself as much as it is that I’m just feeling as though there is a cloaked figure behind me sucking all the joy out of my life. I don’t know that I’m a big bundle of joy every day but for the past several days it seems as though no matter what I do it doesn’t really give me any happiness. Could this be the dreaded mid-life crisis? (I doubt I’ll be living to be ninety years old so perhaps this should be categorized as the late-mid-life crisis or mid-life review as I classified it in an earlier blog entry The thing is that I used to laugh a lot more than I do currently and I used to just generally be more jolly than jaded but as time marches on it seems as though any happiness is sort of manufactured by me sort of like that cheese that you spray out of a can. You know it’s not really cheese, it’s just a bunch of chemicals and food coloring meant to look like and replicate the sort of taste of cheese but it’s so much easier than slicing real cheese that you can’t help but push your finger on the button and allow the orange/yellow gunk to create a rosette on your cracker, replacing the real cheese in your life. I wonder if that was the only cheese you ate if you would eventually never know that there was something better out there or I guess I should say gouda outta there?

I’ve never been one to skip or tiptoe through the tulips but as I look around at people who seem to be behind a glass wall to me in a world that doesn’t include me, laughing and joking with their friends in the Starbucks or at the store I can’t help but feel as though that was my past life not my present or future one. And though I’m usually willing to accept responsibility for my own actions and happiness this time it just feels as though there’s something more at work here, more forces of evil just off my shoulder running almost at my pace to try and make me miserable. No need to get on the Zoloft yet but I sure wish I had a wand and knew how to produce a good Patronus spell to get rid of what I can only assume are the Dementors that are out to get me! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      MM - You always seem to know exactly what to say. Yes, vacation...much needed.

    • profile image

      Molly's Mom 7 years ago

      If I heard Molly telling me this story, I'd just say, it's your period. But if were my sister talking to me, she'd say you are just getting older.

      Time for a vacation maybe?

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 7 years ago from UK

      “I’m just feeling as though there is a cloaked figure behind me sucking all the joy out of my life.”

      A Spartan told his mother that the swords the Spartan soldiers were given were too short. The mother responded with a phrase which became famous. She said to him: “The take a step forward”. That is what is known as a Laconic statement. (From the district of Laconia, where Sparta is situated).

      My own Laconic response in your own case (as copied above) is “Turn around”. :-) You might turn an unpleasant experience into a pleasant one :-))))

      About the Dementor’s kiss (which sucks your very soul right out of your body), I know all about it. I was married to one. :-)

      I continue to be envious of your great talent :-) I understand that it would not be appropriate to wish you a good Easter :-))