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The Grandiosity Gap

Updated on July 2, 2019

When people are catered to their every whim, they end up with an inferiority complex because of the cognitive dissonance in their mind. A kid that was raised as a spoiled brat becomes an emotionally crippled adult who never learned how to diagnose, repair or deal with life’s frustrations. Total intolerance of anything that doesn’t go their way as a narcissist and emotional vampire the adult becomes a self-sabotaging celebrity.

The result is an overcompensation of grandiosity to stave off the self-awareness of incompetency. The untalented fraud who is not aware of living the lie their entire life on a conscious level. The person believes in the illusion of false bravado with a huge over-the-top false confidence. The arrogant phantasmagoria is undercut with the knowledge that they have never felt safe enough to fail. That's why when they do fail they blame others. It's never their fault. And if they did do it, you deserved to be treated shabbily.

Their greatest fear is that they are not the most awesome person in the world as their parents or grandparents devotedly proclaimed while growing up.

But the vainglorious mental self portrait is challenged daily from the observation that their life is riddled with blunders. To feel better about themselves, they will always accuse others or say ‘fake news’. This yawning chasm between their life long lasting delusion of exaltedness and immunity and their average daily struggle and strife result in subjective disharmony.

The Grandiosity Gap as told by Sam Vaknin, who said it boils down for the narcissistic personality to justify to themselves in the following way; "I'd preferably be accepted to be super talented, however reckless or languid or substance mishandling or unfortunate or a casualty of an enemy of IQ liberal trick than be seen as dedicated and giving everything yet as yet missing the mark, which would demonstrate for the last time what I've since a long time ago suspected: that mama and daddy misled me, encouraged me a vessel, and I'm not as exceptional as I suspected."

They are lying to themselves more than they lie to others. Yet, they thrive on being worshiped by others, but they have come to an understanding that only the sycophants are giving the praise. Those who are worthy won’t have anything to do with them. So they get disappointed that they can just only get approval from despised dolts that they can’t respect. Yet the narcissist lives on that praise. They come to a the reasoning that “Hey I’m freaking awesome, so why do I need approval and praise from such lowly jerks that are so beneath me?” I function on their approval and get enraged when I don't get the devotion I demand. Isn’t that in itself a weakness I must deny?”


Submit a Comment
  • ptosis profile imageAUTHOR


    20 months ago from Arizona

    @ Eric Dierker I think the saying is "You can't fix spoiled."

    @ Mike Russo Yeah, that's exactly who I had in mind. That's why I dropped the "Fake News" phrase.

  • peoplepower73 profile image

    Mike Russo 

    20 months ago from Placentia California

    ptosis: Your article describes Trump to a tee.

  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 

    20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    Well done, thank you. I was thinking that many of these people seem successful. But then I think that is correlation as to be spoiled probably it is a rich family?

    Do you think that the hard work it takes to do excellent in school overcomes be spoiled?

  • ptosis profile imageAUTHOR


    20 months ago from Arizona

    Thank you Pamela.

  • Pamela99 profile image

    Pamela Oglesby 

    20 months ago from Sunny Florida

    I think you described this type of personality very thoroughly. This is a very interesting read.


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