The Lighter Side of Aging
How to Embrace Aging
- Quit Obsessing - Stop obsessing about getting older. It happens to everyone. The alternative to getting older is not something many of us would like to visit.
- Re-evaluate Your Circle of Friends - It is very hard to stay positive when you are surrounded by negative people. Look at your friends, are they happy, fun-filled people. Do they keep themselves busy. If so you are in great company.
- Think Positive - Try to think the best of people and situations. Join clubs that include people with similar interest. Busy, active people are happy people.
- Eat Properly - As you get older your body needs more nutrition. Eat more fruits and vegetables, follow that diet that your doctor has given you. There's nothing wrong with rewarding yourself once in a while with a small treat. Nobody can follow a rigid diet 100% of the time.
- Get Your Exercise - Many senior centers are now offering an exercise class geared especially for the young at heart and older in body. It's easier to exercise in a group than by yourself at home. If that's not for you, take walks with a friend or buy a dog and take them for a walk. If you bring an animal into your home not only do you automatically get more exercise but you also receive all of that wonderful unconditional love.
- Visit Your Doctor And Listen to Him/Her - Too many people visit the doctor because they feel they need to and then don't follow their advice. They are there for a reason - let them use all of that expensive education they had to go through.
- Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do. - Golda Meir
- Age to me means nothing. I can't get old;I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age. - George Burns
- I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. - Harry Hershfield
- I'm so lonesome; they are all dying. I have hardly a warm personal enemy left. - James McNeill Whistler
- Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. - Maurice Chevalier
- Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster. - Lional Kauffman
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. - Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
- He is so old that his blood type was discontinued. - Bill Dana
- Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke
- There's no fool like an old fool---you can't beat the experience. - Jacob Morton Braude
- Some grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
- Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle. - Bob Hope
- Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. - George Burns
- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. - Edgar Watson Howe
- I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
- Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning. - Bob Hope
- A woman has the age she deserves. - Coco Chanel
- Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. - Groucho Marx
- The old complaint of the conduct of the young when they themselves are no longer able to set a bad example. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld
- The secret of staying young is to live honesty, eat slowly, and be about your age. - Lucille Ball
- I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. Ifg you're lucky, it could happen to you. Andy Rooney
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. - Dave Berry
- The cardiologists diet: If it taste good, spit it out. - Anonymous
- Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old. - Washington Irving
- Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns
My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke.
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke,
For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Generally, is me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who's that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
Prayer for Senility
God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
ABC's of Aging
A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight - can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention
and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido - what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my
M-memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux - one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights,
counting fears on how to pay my medical bills!
T is for tinnitus - I hear bells in my ears
and the word "terminal" also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet unfound
X is for X ray - and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I'm still alive).
Z is for zest
For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.
Universal Emotional Needs for the Aging
- To feel needed and useful
- To have the opportunity to care
- To have self-esteem boosted
- To love and be loved
- To express emotions freely
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