The Never Delivered Letter - Venting Frustration & Anger Peacefully
When You Just Have to Get It Out
All of us, at one time or another, have been in a situation where we felt angry, frustrated, and disappointed with someone in our lives. Often times we wanted to simply "go off" on that person - but that isn't the most positive way to deal with hurt emotions (negativity only breeds more negativity) and sometimes it just isn't possible (you can't go off on your boss, for example).
So how do you cope with these feelings that continue to bubble to the surface, making you feel like you'll implode if you don't deal with them somehow? Here I will share you with my method of calming the inner rage and allowing yourself to vent freely - get it all off your chest - without having to damage your relationship or make yourself look bad.
Write It Down
Perhaps you've heard this advice before, but you have ever actually followed it? Sitting down with pen and paper and letting your emotions just flow onto the page can be incredibly cathartic!
You don't need to even have an aptitude for writing or a good grasp of grammar - no one is going to read this but you. In fact, when writing try not to worry about things like making sense, sentence structure, and spelling; these things will only hinder your thoughts from flowing freely.
It may sound too simple to work. You may feel your problems or upset are too big to be helped by writing them down, but I promise you - if you try it, you will feel better.
The Key to Success
The key to making this work is not just spewing your thoughts onto a random piece of paper (though that is, also, effective). What you must do is imagine you are writing a letter to the person that has upset you.
Write this letter as if you have every intention of handing it over to the person that has wronged you; in your mind, imagine them reading it and seeing your point of view and understanding how they hurt you. Say whatever you want to say to this person - about this incident or any other times they have hurt you. Don't hold back - be as harsh, cruel, or angry as you want to be.
Even if the letter is nothing more than a page full of angry curses rather than an explanation of your feelings, that's fine. Write whatever you feel. There are no rules.
I call these Letters To Never Be Delivered, and they have helped me every time I have had a need to write one. Getting it all off my chest was extremely theraputic and, afterwards, I felt refreshed, cleansed, and at much more peace.
Sometimes I keep the letters, and other times - to really put an end to the hurt and pain - I burn them. I have a notebook full of these that I wrote to an ex-boyfriend after an extremely painful breakup of a long-term relationship that I plan to put into a book someday to help others going through their own difficult splits.
Do what works for you and the situation.
Why It Works
Sometimes all we need is to vent - to get the feelings crowding our mind out into the open where we can step back and more effectively analyze them. The act of writing them down is a tangible way of dealing with those emotions and facing them head-on.
The beauty of Letters To Never Be Delivered is that you help yourself through a difficult situation without burning bridges, saying things you might regret, or confronting someone you shouldn't confront (like the boss!). You deal with your inner pain on your own without dragging others into it and without making yourself look bad or bringing negative energy to yourself. It's an effective way to get past something without striking out and possibly making things worse.
Actively tackling your problem, rather than sitting and walloing in it, also helps you feel better.
Go give it a try - what have you got to lose? - and you will feel better, empowered, and more at peace once you are done. Remember, too, that harboring the anger, pain, frustration, and resentment hurts you - not the other person.
I also want to leave you with these wise words...Resentment is like taking poison, and expecting the other person to die (author unknown).