The Other Side of 50:The Parking Lot Ate My Car!
Have You Ever Lost Your Car at Your Local Shopping Mall?
My name is Lew Newmark, and I have several hubs here on HubPages. After taking some time away from here (and writing in general) I'm back and I wanted to share what I like to refer to as my real life observations about living after we turn 50.
Hopefully I bring a smile to your face as I poke some fun at myself and others as we discover together "The Other Side of 50!"
Yes that person to the right of this hub is me...but it could just as easily be anyone of you reading this hub right now!
That's a look of total and sheer Confusion, that proverbial "Deer in the Headlights" expression that we all get when we find ourselves in situations where are minds are "Out to Lunch!"
Don't act innocent because the here's another true story that happened to me a few yewars back (and I'm not talking a year or two ago okay) think like five or more, and I'll let you decide on the "more" aspect of this tale.
Lets go to the Mall!
We've all done this. Maybe it was the other day or two weeks ago but I know you've done it...because I've done it!
That's correct, the "Shopping Trip." You know the drill, you get everyone who's going on this little outing into the family "Vehicle" (notice I used a fancy, descriptive word for car) and put on those darned seat belts.
Put the key in the ignition, and before you know it your on your way, and honestly for purposes of this story the trip could have just as easily been to your local grocery store (as long as it has a parking lot that is sufficiently large with more than 10 parking spots) it just so happened "I" was headed to our local galleria mall.
It's Time to Shop!
So we get to the mall, and we search for a parking spot that's close to where we want to enter the mall, we exit the vehicle (there's that word again) lock the car up and off we go. I should mention at this point that on this particular trip to the mall my daughter was the only other person with me.
So we do what most people do when they go to a mall, we shopped for some stuff, and we ate some lunch at the mall's food court, I mean it's there so why not. At this point it's at least two or three hours that we've been at the mall, and now it's time to leave and head home.
Is This an Episode of Seinfeld?
Remember that Seinfeld episode where they can't remember where they parked their car and they go searching in the mall parking lot for hours, and Elaine is concerned about her Goldfish dying? Well this moment for me was worse!
Now at this point I want to point out that I wasn't as old as I am now, we're talking maybe like 15 or so years ago...so here I am with my daughter (who I was was around 14 or 15 at the time) and we exit the mall through the exact same entrance that we entered the mall in...but I swear to you we may as well have been on a different plane of existence!
I start to walk (with child in tow) through this not so large, but not so small parking lot...like I'm on an African Safari, waiting to discover some strange beast that I've never encountered before...and after around 15 minutes or so of this safari I start to get crazed, and then I finally turn to my daughter and ask her..."Do You Remember Where I Parked the Car Honey!"
That Deer in the Headlights Moment
So ( and I kid you not dear reader) after more then 30 minutes of looking for my car, with my daughter )staying a safe distance behind me at this point) comes that dreaded moment...that moment of total despair, and the realization that...I'd need a GPS unit to find my car in this "Hide and Seek" parking lot!
And then it happens all at once...I get that "Deer in the Headlights" look on my face, and while I can't see that look...I know it's there, and then comes that "Ah Ha!" moment, when out of nowhere I glance a little to my left about a row over from where we're standing, and there it is...our car.
Never did a stupid vehicle look more like an oasis then at that moment, and then daughter and her overly excited father enter the vehicle and drive home, leaving the mall and it's trickster parking lot in the rear view mirror.
Today (yes, like 15 to 20 years after this incident) I still don't trust parking lots, but I have a secret weapon now...one that always know where my car is parked in whatever mall or grocery shopping center I may have parked the car in...and that weapon is....
Yes it doesn't matter where I've parked my car, my wife is like a trained, drug sniffing hound who's easily able to find our car in a sea of parked cars, no matter the amount of time spent in a mall or grocery store.
Today I don't leave the house without her, I mean how else am I going to find where our car's parked?