The Perks and Pitfalls of Pregnancy
A Worthy Cause
Every year, our local Sports channel puts on a telecast for 2 days for a very worthy charity. The Jimmy Fund is a charity that helps to fight and find a cure for cancer. http://www.jimmyfund.org/ for more information. Cancer is one cause that eventually if you toss enough money at it, you'll get your wish. They do fantastic work with the Dana-Farber institute in Boston to help people of all ages beat this horrible disease and people from all over come there.
Pregnancy is a beautiful miracle that women should feel lucky to experience. Women who desire this ability spend a fortune to experience this. We should feel lucky for our ability to make life and bring it into this world, because there are others less fortunate who would do anything to experience this. Pregnancy is bringing life into this world, and our bodies do incredible things to make this happen.
With all that mushiness aside, let's face it: pregnancy has its perks. It's an undeniable fact that pregnant women get away with eating whatever they want without judgement. If I was pregnant and say, ate a whole watermelon, people wouldn't say anything or laugh at you. Actually, come to think about it, they do laugh at you and mock you for the rest of the pregnancy for it. But at least watermelon is healthy. At least that's what I told myself as I devoured the entire thing in one sitting, licking the spoon clean of that delicious pink fruit. It turns out it was karma, at some point I looked like I had swallowed the whole thing in one gulp similar to a snake who had just eaten. My poor 120lbs frame, I miss you. We'll meet again soon, and maybe I'll see my 110lbs days again too. I swear it.
Consider it though, there's a lot of benefit to this "bringing life into the world" thing. I mean, you are hatching a little mini-you. Life is miracle, and we're strong women to do it. People acknowledge that. It gives people something to talk about with you while you're out someplace, sitting there. That's if someone even dares to ask if you're pregnant, which most people seem to still do despite the hazards of doing so incorrectly. Tact is not humanity's friend.
I start this Hub with the perks, not the pitfalls because sometimes you need to get up before you get knocked down. If you're already down, I don't want to be the one to kick you while you're there. I want to be the one to lift your spirits before I crush them, you poor little soul. I mean you, the pregnant one not the little soul inside of you. There are perks, I promise you. It's the small victories in life that you take, because when you're feeling down they are all you have.
With that said, I introduce to you the perks of being pregnant.
- Period free. Need I say more? I am one of those sufferers of extremely bad periods. I think I'm dying with the amount of blood, I can't leave the bed because I cycle between bad migraines, extreme nausea, and excessive fatigue. When you're just having your monthly friend, however, people tell you to "get over it" and "it can't be that bad" when you're suffering from these extreme symptoms. When you're pregnant? No period and when you do have those symptoms, people feel sorry for you being the sick and miserable pregnant woman and take better care of you. Milk it while you can.
- Have that second taco. And that third... Let's face it: pregnant women eat. And we eat a lot. Sure it isn't healthy to indulge every craving and watching your weight spike unhealthily as a result, but unless you're a supermodel or celebrity does it really matter as long as you don't go too extreme? Pregnant women seem to get a pass at their insatiable hunger. Don't go crazy though, remember everything gained is everything you need to eventually lose again.
- Those polite people. When you're pregnant, people seem to be more accommodating and kind. People will hold doors open for you, give up their seats for you, and seem to show up at the right time to carry things for you. You kind of have it made as a pregnant woman.
- To pamper or to pamper more. My husband was awesome at massages and waiting on me when I was pregnant. Any craving I had, he indulged me before I even asked especially since half the time I never asked. He made sure I was 100% comfortable and happy. Sure, he was also 100% obsessively protective, but this is why I love that man. Pregnant women get lucky and pampered much more often than when you're not. You're free to take those extra naps or free to ditch dish duty because your husband doesn't want you to be overworked and overstressed, neither of which are good for the baby.
To every upside, there is a down that follows. And a down is what you get. A long fall down.These are the things they really don't tell you.
- The due date. You know what your "due date" really means? It means "we're going to guess when the baby is anatomically ready to be birthed, but not necessarily what the baby will have planned". Translation: It'll come when it's good and ready, even if that means you have to be induced or cut open or are unfortunate enough to experience both. They should really just call it what it is: a hopeful deadline that isn't often met.
- Remember all those tacos? I do, and I still can't seem to work them off. I've decided I'm going to without the scale until I see more of an improvement on the flab where my little stomach and hips used to be.
- Remember when you didn't get your period? Welcome to getting it for at least a month after your baby. That's all I have to say here.
- The pregnancy glow. I wonder if this was a joke. You know that pregnancy glow? That's the sweat from being so big during the summertime. That's the sweat from all the vomiting you did while pregnant. That's the grease from all those fried chickens you couldn't stop eating.
- The "Balloon Effect". This simply means that anything that can balloon out in swollen form, can and probably will. Sure, they tell you that your feet will swell. But they never tell you how much it will, and they seem to forget to tell you that your face and hands and ankles and knees seem to follow. It's not bad enough that you have this large stomach you're carrying around, now you have all your limbs looking like a balloon animal that a clown made you.
- The end result: labor. I saved the best, or worst, for last. Sure, labor brings you this amazing child in your arms. But labor is still labor. That first push that you felt something come out and you think you did something good and useful? No, you just defecated all over the table in front of 10 strangers, and your husband and whoever else is in the waiting room for you. Then you push and push, and some people push for many many hours. They never warn you of how long you'll actually be sitting there in the most uncomfortable position while experiencing the worst pain of your life for hours on end.
But after all that, you get 18 years of parental bliss. If you're lucky.